Why is everyone obsessed with how much money everyone else has?

[BernadetteIsMySister]

Seriously there's been so many threads recently asking how much people has left over after bills? Etc etc.

Why? I dont understand how knowing can make you feel better or worse or influence your positive at all. Either you have enough and are content or you don't and need to work out a plan to change that. How is knowing what I have in my bank account each month going to help you?

Is it a stealth brag? Or a pity party? Weird.

Both

Because money - or lack of it - is top of a lot of people’s minds? For many people for the first time in years / ever.

I think people are feeling the pinch financially at the moment- well, many are- and they’re trying to gauge whether they’re the only ones feeling that way and how others are managing .

Probably a bit of both. Plus genuine curiosity, settling an argument with a partner and just nosiness. Same could be said for a lot of threads really, how often folk wash their sheets, how long their kids sleep and so on.

In general I'm (secretly) fascinated by money and people's relationship with it.

I know people that earn really well and plead absolute poverty. People at the other end of the spectrum with brand new cars on the drive. I'm morbidly curious and would love to look at their bank accounts 😂

I suppose for some people that spills over into online too.

Cost of living crisis? People want to gauge whether their higher costs are normal or not

It would be more understandable if that were the case, but I don’t think it’s specific to now, when people are struggling. When we first moved to a Midlands village, I was completely taken aback by how desperate people we’d barely met seemed to be to see inside our house and to ‘place’ us financially.

I genuinely don’t get it. I’m interested in other people, but how much money someone has is the least interesting thing about them. Or if it is, that’s a pretty bad sign.

I'm studying economics and watched a lecture yesterday that said when people live in an unequal society and are worried about their own position, they look around to others to pitch their place in society.

They often look up and feel as though they don't have enough.

In places where inequality is less severe, people don't look to others to gauge their "worth" as everyone is roughly the same.

They want to know how high up the pecking order they are.

In addition to this, people try to signal to others that they are "worthy". So poor people have overt displays of wealth and care greatly about appearances in order to hide their lack of means.

This is from a textbook perspective not my personal opinion or a generalisation.

Because in the last couple of years my salary has stagnated so where I was able to live comfortably without thinking too much about money, now I have to count every penny. And it kinda helps to know that others are in the same situation (although that's obviously also sad) but also weirdly fascinating to read of others who can spend over 40k on a holiday.

Yes. I’d lived in the UK for years, but we’re not British, and I did feel our foreignness (unplaceability in terms of accents, social class etc) contributed to this interest in our house, car and finances.

DH had a very ‘well-known’ job (at a locally-famous organisation in the nearby city), which was why we’d moved, so the ballpark of his salary was probably pretty guessable, and my sense, looking back a decade later, was that people were puzzled because they thought our ‘display’ didn’t match our income (I cycle everywhere and don’t drive, dress accordingly, have a demanding professional job when they expected a WAG type etc).

It was a very ‘aspirational LMC’ environment, which probably contributed.

Money matters.

Of course it does. But your own money matters. To you. Other people’s money generally doesn’t, unless it’s child support, a possible inheritance, or discovering colleagues are paid more for an identical job etc.

I find money threads really interesting because people have such different opinions. There was one a couple days ago asking if £1000 a month was enough for a family of 3 to cover groceries, fuel and everything else outside of monthly bills.....my mind was blown by the amount of people insisting that was loads of money. It's eye opening sometimes to see other people's attitudes to money and inspires me examine my own spending habits.

I find money threads really interesting because people have such different opinions. There was one a couple days ago asking if £1000 a month was enough for a family of 3 to cover groceries, fuel and everything else outside of monthly bills.....my mind was blown by the amount of people insisting that was loads of money. It's eye opening sometimes to see other people's attitudes to money and inspires me examine my own spending habits.

Money is a taboo subject in Britain. If people can ask those questions online why wouldn't they?

I had a job years ago that required me to look through peoples bank statements, I loved that job it was so interesting to see how people managed their money.
It really helped me to manage my money better too!

What’s LMC?

I've always been fascinated by money, how much people earn, what they spend it on, what their monetary priorities are etc. My husband isn't and doesn't really have long term goals. He's a more live in the moment person and expects to have plenty of spending money even if that impacts on other things such as overpaying the mortgage etc.

I find reading about the monetary habits of others helps me put things in perspective for him and I can tell him that his spending habits aren't normal and he is not hard done by!

I have always been fascinated by how people choose to live and love when a choice is available, money is a part of this. I know some choices are not ours to make but some are.

DH and I cost benefit analysis situations. I always say it’s irrelevant is it’s £1 or £1000 is it value for money first and foremost.

Thats not part of the cost of living crisis issue so much, some people are financially incompetent so if by discussing living costs online helps someone I’m all for that.

Lower middle class.

I have no problem talking about money but I met up with a friend earlier in the week and I was so fed up listening to them after half an hour. Kept telling me how broke they were, couldn't afford holidays as they've just built a house with a massive mortgage but on the other hand she works part time, goes for a facial every 6 weeks, gets eyebrows and nails done regularly. So it's all relative. If I you were really broke you'd be struggling to pay bills and put food on the table.

i can’t think of a single truly unequal society.

Communism or socialism? The inequality there is just as huge.

some tribe who lives in the amazon? I think you’ll find there’s usually a chief who gets first dibs.

western democracy? I’d argue we have a pretty good deal - basic living standards, a welfare system, jobs for most, and anyone can become a millionaire, with luck, hard work and an idea. Yep people fall through the cracks, some by choice, some by fate, but I prefer our system where I lose half to society, over equality where I don’t have much - to make us equal.

I actually think inequality isn’t the bad thing people are generally taught to believe. Why would people make the effort if they didn’t have aspirations - although I am a bit of a fan of Ubi.

And yep - I did economics at Uni too.

in the places where there is a belief there is equality - there isn’t a copy of hello showing you how the top 5% live. And those are the places where the inequality is extreme - it’s just hidden.

I hate all the "how much money do you have left?" "list every single crumb of food you have eaten today" "what is your gas bill?" threads.

Firstly, I am amazed that most people have the time/energy to type it out in so much detail.

Also, as OP says, what bloody difference does it make?

Finally, a lot of it is just made up fantasy anyway (both ends of the spectrum) and it just gives a distorted view of actual real life.

Anyone who has loads of disposable income/valuable assets/investments gets told "read the room", "have you not heard of the COL crisis" "stealth brag" so they don't post anyway and the replies are just a self-selecting race to the bottom.