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Dealing with difficult colleague who has outbursts

2 replies

Snufflebabe05 · 07/04/2023 07:07

I have a colleague who I am finding it difficult to work with. His behaviours are, in my opinion, childish and wondering if anyone has ever experienced similar?

I am not his boss, but he works on projects which I am responsible for, and that I hold the budget for. If I ask questions about his proposals, or ask that changes are made (and I always share my reasoning for any changes) he will respond with lengthy emails, questioning whether I I have bias, whether I prioritise correctly, whether I understand that what he is proposing is hard but necessary (I work in behaviour change/culture) and that I’m scared of the difficult work etc etc. it goes on.

If I ask for more information so I can engage stakeholders accurately, I get phone calls, ranting that I’m taking too long, that I’m making things too difficult, that my desire for detail is slowing progress.

My work is well received by my manager, and recently received an excellent performance review. Based on my feedback across the business, I’m confident in my approach.

After yet another explosive email yesterday, I have asked for a meeting with the colleague to discuss his behaviour and how we work together. I haven’t responded to any of his points in the email, and just said “I think it’s best we have a catch up to discuss your concerns.”

He is someone who will talk over you in a meeting, and regularly starts sentences with “What you need to do is…”. He will not respond well as I don’t imagine many pull him up on his behaviour, but it’s not making our work easier.

Have you ever had this? Any top tips?

OP posts:
mamnotmum · 07/04/2023 07:19

Ask to record the meetings as you find it easier than taking notes. OR invite someone else to the meeting - either 'oh x is coming along as they are also taking on parts of the project' or 'x is coming along to take notes'

It's amazing how people change their behaviour when there's a witness!

ramabanana · 07/04/2023 07:31

Have you spoken directly to his boss about it?
Might be worth bringing him (or another employee as PP suggested) to that meeting as well
Since there is already tension I’d be wary of not recording the meeting or having a witness to confirm what is said

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