Advice on what to write to her

[SadAndLost10]

Feel like my friend has really let me down.
It's a work friend and she was there for me when I needed her and when times got hard for me there. But I also made her feel welcome and she even wrote me a card saying that before I left to start a new role.
I had misunderstood her when she said she was able to pop round to see me and so I was not there. Also that her call function was broken which is is she didn't call to find out where I was. She must have been annoyed about it as I said she could come round at another time but she didn't respond. Then she left it 3 weeks before contacting me to see if I was OK in my new role. I said how good it was and she didn't respond. I'm feeling let down and not sure what to say to her. Just wanted some ideas.

I'd just ask her over or out for coffee/whatever. If she ignores that then she's not interested. Work-based friendships quite often don't survive one person leaving.

Are you the poster who had a colleague dropping around a card but she arrived earlier than you expected (around 11am, IIRC) and you weren’t out of bed yet so didn’t answer? Her phone was broken so she couldn’t call you.

How on earth has she let you down?

Why should she respond instantly? You were unavailable when she called round, so why do you expect her attention immediately? People drift, have other things going on, different priorities.

"I'm sorry that we somehow managed to miss each other before. I'd still love to meet and catch up with you sometime. Is there any time coming up when we could get together for a coffee? Hope all is well with you." Keep it light and to the point.

Try not to focus on feeling snubbed, 'let down' or hard-done-by, or demanding justification. Things happen sometimes - maybe she's had a situation to be dealing with or not much spare time. It's not necessarily always a judgment or personal slight on you.

I don't think anyone has let anyone down.

She never came back toy house, then took weeks to text me about my new role, then ignored my text about how well I was getting on.
Part of me doesn't want to care but it does hurt.

Blimey, you sound really needy and like you expect her to run around after you.

I think you want more than she can give and you should just let it go.

I don't think her behaviour is in any way unreasonable but you feel however you feel.

I think you're bringing too many emotional needs to what is essentially a transient working relationship.

She's moved on and you need to focus on relationships with friends and new colleagues (not confusing the two)

Wow some of these replies are harsh!

I'd just be pretty direct and say 'hey I hope all is ok? I feel there's an issue, if there is could you please let me know as I do value this friendship and would love to meet up soon?'

Unfortunately work friendships do fizzle out after someone leaves but I feel she's being pretty rude.

You haven’t answered my question.

If you are the poster I’m thinking of, I’d suggest you leave this woman alone. You haven’t been a good friend to her, and it sounds like she’s putting boundaries in place. Good on her.

And what interest have you shown in her, after all the support she gave you?