Does anyone else have a parent with severe mental illness?

[Dahliass]

I went to visit DM yesterday, she lives on a remote island she moved there 11 years ago. DM has always had bizarre behaviour washing her feet in a shopping centre fountain, shaving her legs on a packed coach. It's like she does things to provoke a reaction. She wears really really bright clothing yesterday camouflage gear with a hiking stick leopard print hat. She always says I dress very boring. She's been sectioned I think 3 times but right now she's her default state attention seeking. My siblings have gone NC. We went to a cafe for lunch and she started shouting really loudly in conversation to try and put on a performance she then pulled change out of an empty pepper shaker to pay for the lunch.

I've started paying little attention to the behaviour as I find the more I react the more she ramps it up. I feel utterly alone dealing with her but guilty if I go LC as she will have no one all the family have cut off contact. She's ok to talk to privately or on the phone but I hate going out in public with her as she cannot help but try and draw attention to herself.

I'm sorry that no one has responded.

I haven't much of any help to say except my parents was a little like this, with the odd and seemingly obnoxious behaviour. It's alienated both sets of family over the years and they have no friends or social life. I swing between feeling so sad for them and wishing I could avoid them. The guilt and mixed emotions are both constant and exhausting.

I live a substantial distance from home and the remaining parent (father) is struggling. The guilt us compounded by that.

It's so hard, I hope someone has done better advice to offer.

I'm sorry to hear this. I don't have experience of a parent with severe mental illness, but a close friend of mine has schizoaffective disorder and is sectioned at least twice a year. I understand how challenging and frustrating it can be for carers and loved ones.

I had freind whose mum had some similar traits to yours. She had a mental illness which was medicated (possibly bi polar but I'm not sure). However she didn't always take her medication.

She used to see her at home if possible and, if not, stay local where she was accepted for just being her.

Later on she lost mobility and ended up in a care home for many years where she had fewer ups and downs and that maybe because they ensured her medication was administered accurately.

It was a real strain on her daughter (my friend).

Not severe mental problems but a combination of traits of personality disorders, development disorders. Totally dysfunctional family life. Attention seeking at times. Controlling. Needy. Needed me to fail. Horribly embarrassing - it's deliberate and done in front of partners particularly so as to put them off. It's really really hard. I've tried so hard to escape and I've failed. I used to think I'd feel a freedom when they die but now I think it won't really matter as the damage is done. I'm not always this bad but feeling particularly low tonight. I'm sorry for anyone else going through similar.