DC really unhealthy. What to do?

[StressedaboutUni]

DC18 has been really struggling over the past 2 years with food. He has constantly been eating junk such as crisps, biscuits, Nutella toast, chocolate every few hours. Last year he was eating a lot of ice cream on top of this but we put a stop to that. This has caused him to put on 15kg, which has made him really down and lethargic.
he says it is the exam stress, he needs high grades to meet his uni offer and he finds food helps him cope with everything. He eats his normal meals but on top of that, he has all this junk which surely can’t be sustainable.
he doesn’t exercise either as he is always so lethargic. The GP says he just needs to diet but he is constantly hungry, especially when revising and finds that the sugar gives him extra energy to revise and calms him down.
I am tempted to not badger him about his diet until a levels are over but he sees to be getting really ill with the food he is eating. What should we do? I know it is up to him ultimately but he still looks to me for help and advice, especially when he feels down.

I agree. Exercise is the most difficult thing to motivate yourself to do, especially if you are overweight, but it is so good for boosting energy, improving blood flow (including to the brain!) and being outside for 20 minutes or so every day boosts vitamin D.

If you can persuade him to do 20-30 minutes of activity outdoors every day this would be a good start. Just a brisk walk, have you got a garden? Doing something in the garden, swing ball, anything just to get moving outside.

I also wouldn’t do too much before exams. Maybe as others have said - an evening walk in the sun after dinner and try and replace a few of his snacks - I like the idea of dipping fruit into melted choc. If you try and make main meals healthy too then you are doing your best. Hopefully after exams are over he can tackle it properly.

Your DC has my sympathies OP. Binge eating and emotional eating can be really difficult for some people. It's taken less seriously in men than women, too.

I do think you need to help him address it asap, as it could easily worsen when he goes off to Uni and you are not there to encourage healthy habits, plus there will be alcohol too. A lot of people gian weight when they start Uni.

I would suggest two things:

1. Encourage him to explore why he reaches for food as a panacea and whether he can retrian his brain to do some other form of self-care when he is feeling stressed. CBT basically. There are loads of books and apps that help with this such as Noom.
2. Try to get him to swap out some of his choccy snacks for mango or pineapple. They're still sweet so will give him that sugar rush but they have higher contents of water and fiber and lower fat and calories so will be better for him.

he could try some hi protein snacks instead? or high fibre? oranges? sugar, and fibre and vit C. high quality sausages, cooked, stored cold in the fridge? banana? walnuts?

I agree, you need to get rid of all these sweets from the house.

boiled eggs?

Make sure his meals contain big portions of vegetables, to fill him up and provide fibre

I agree with getting him outside exercising once a day will be really beneficial.
Also, drinking lots of water. If he's properly hydrated, the craving for snacks will reduce.
Also, see if he can get into the habit of drinking a full glass of water and some fruit before his junk food. So it's not off limits but hopefully it'll help him to eat less if it.

He needs to understand that those sugary junk foods are addictive and totally devoid of nutrients so the body just wants more. Can you swap out for some healthier snacks like plain popcorn, rice cakes, banana bread, veg sticks and dip? And once his exams are over, get him shopping and cooking healthy filling meals. Getting out for a walk every day will help sleep

It's not about the good anyway. The source issue is stress and he needs to learn to deal with it in different ways.

I'm like this and I need an outlet or I binge eat for comfort to deal with stress.

Can you pay for something nice for him like a massage or weekend away? Could he try out some new hobbies that he could have time for?

Food not good!

Suggest he reads https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ultra-Processed-People-Stuff-That-Isnt/dp/B0BL1VYBXK/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=148140915794&hvadid=644576474610&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9045989&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=9242306577345750080&hvtargid=kwd-1937649932622&hydadcr=24864_2248297&keywords=ultra+processed+people&qid=1683031315&sr=8-1

When I’m tired and stressed I eat crap. When I’m sleeping well, getting exercise etc then I just don’t crave it in the same way.

I would encourage him to get out for a walk - go with him perhaps - 15 mins in the morning, 15 mins in the evening. It’s not long but it’s enough to set a decent habit.

Get him a cheap step watch perhaps? To encourage him to keep an eye on activity?

At 18 and exam season, it's pretty limited about what you can do for him, but I'd suggest providing a protein rich breakfast to avoid starting the day with sugar rushes and crashes and two brief walks a day. Daylight in the morning is important for regulating circadian rhythms.

Make it easy for him to drink water too.

Ultimately he'd benefit from gradually changing his lifestyle and habits to have better nutrients and be more active, but he needs to want to do that for himself.

I really don’t think trying to sort out the way he eats two weeks before the start if A levels is wise tbh.
And he us right about the fact that food us giving him a burst of energy and is calming too. It might not be long term energy but that’s what us allowing him to get through it just now.

Leave it. Leave it until the end of June. A couple if months won’t make a huge difference.

Then have a chat with him and take him to see a nutritionist if he is happy with that. In 5 months time, he’ll be at Uni, making his own choices. What he needs is support from you to implement his OWN choices. You can’t treat him like a child anymore, force him to eat healthy etc…
You can ensure you gave healthy OPTIONS in the house, healthy meals, happy to eat vegs etc… that’s already a big part of a healthy diet.

Btw all the comments about sugar been addictive, ultra processed foods etc… are right.

But seeing how hard people are finding to change their lifestyle and diet, does anyone really think that the best time to do that is right in the middle if one if tte most stressful time this teen has had??
Just now he needs support to get through that. It’s a teen that is clearly anxious . Why would you want to add another layer of stress and guilt over it?

Wait. Please wait until his exams are gone before even start mentioning anything at all.