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Any ideas how I could help my son’s friend? His parents make his life a misery.

6 replies

ShipSpace · 04/04/2023 10:49

He did well in his GCSE’s and AS levels.

At the start of Year 13 he suffered an injury that meant a lot of time off school.

He struggled on as much as he could with the work, but he had just missed too much.

His parents didn’t even notice school work would be an issue with the amount of time off. Made no attempt to discuss it with school or to support at all.

It was impossible for him to catch up and complete the work needed for A Levels after missing so much. He has recently given up and said he is leaving school.

The parents blame him, call him lazy and seem to have no understanding how much work is involved or how hard he tried.

He has now got himself a job earning £7.49 an hour, and they are taking over 60% of his earnings off him in ‘rent’!

He has also applied for a college course in September and is trying so hard to make things work.

He just seems to be in an impossible situation financially.

He will not be able to apply for any sort of financial support as his household income must be somewhere around the £100k mark.

But of course, this assumes that parents help out their children where they can!

They put a roof over his head, but he has to pay for everything else himself out of his earnings and has no opportunity to save as his parents take so much of his earnings.

It is so sad to see someone falling through the gaps like this. No support from the state; no support from his parents; minimum wage is so low for his age; and he’s too young to have built up any savings or gained experience in the world of work.

He is just trying to make his first steps into the adult world, and everything is against him.

OP posts:
ladykale · 04/04/2023 10:53

Encourage him to re-do the year and do his A-Levels?

Sounds like they don't support him dropping out of school and are trying to "punish" him and show how difficult the real world is.

converseandjeans · 04/04/2023 10:56

I think he should be allowed to retake year 13 if he has been unwell. Maybe try to speak to his parents. Do you have space to house him for 12 months? It does seem crazy they are taking all his money when they earn well themselves.

SchoolTripDrama · 04/04/2023 11:00

Oh the poor lad. They sound vile. Could you offer him a place to stay with you? I know it's not ideal but that would remove the extortionate rent issue 🤷🏼‍♀️

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ShipSpace · 04/04/2023 11:01

ladykale · 04/04/2023 10:53

Encourage him to re-do the year and do his A-Levels?

Sounds like they don't support him dropping out of school and are trying to "punish" him and show how difficult the real world is.

This seems to be exactly what they are doing.

The poor boy was in hospital for nearly a month and off school even longer. How they thought he was just going to carry on as though nothing happened is staggering.

I has thought a lot about redoing Year 13, but he has found a Level 3 college course that is specific to the field he wants to go in to, and is really quite enthusiastic about the fresh start.

OP posts:
Urghfedup · 04/04/2023 11:26

Talk to him about apprenticeship scheme. He needs to build his future.
BTW my mum took excessive amounts of money off us in rent then gave it back to us as a deposit so perhaps they’re doing that?

billyt · 04/04/2023 14:27

My mum took excessive money off of me, too.

And spent it on alcohol.......

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