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Original poster

Would you go away on your own without family?

17 replies

WillowtreeHouse · 04/04/2023 08:18

I have and it's amazing. I have come to a friend's old fisherman's cottage on the west of Scotland and I am currently in bed with a cup of tea, looking out over the sea. I've been here since Saturday on my own and all I have done is go for walks on the beach, eat, have a bath, read, stare at the sea and watch shit telly. That's all I plan to do today too and I don't even feel remotely guilty.

DH is still working for the next couple of days, but he and the teenagers (3 of the blighters 😂) are coming on Thursday so I'm just going to enjoy the solitude. Being on your own (by choice) is quite lovely and it's the first time for over twenty years so I'm going to enjoy it. It's definitely made my mind up that this won't be the last time. It feels like a bit of a 'reset', which is a phrase I hate but it feels appropriate for this. If you can, do it.

OP posts:
Tryphenia · 04/04/2023 08:28

I do it all the time, and so does nearly everyone I know (apart from single parents of young children), whether it’s long-distance solo walks, ultramarathons, silent retreats or just renting or borrowing somewhere remote. It has never occurred to me to feel a moment’s guilt at doing something so normal. Enjoy yours, OP. Do it more!

JaneFondue · 04/04/2023 08:30

Been doing it for 25 years. Zero guilt

Original poster
WillowtreeHouse · 04/04/2023 08:33

In going to! 😂 My experience is the opposite to yours, I don't know anyone who does this (and they should!). My friends may go away but always with other friends etc, not on their own. I don't suppose it's that easy in some circumstances and I wouldn't have been able to do it when my children were little but it's been a bit of a revelation.

OP posts:
Alwayswonderedwhy · 04/04/2023 08:35

No but I think about it all the time! I'd feel guilty actually doing it.

JaneFondue · 04/04/2023 08:35

I travel abroad in "dodgy" countries alone too. I don't have many friends willing to travel with me and sometimes DH or DC are busy. Plus I need alone time.

maranella · 04/04/2023 08:36

Never. Wish I could. I used to dream about it all the time when the DC were little. I had a fantasy of just running away for a few days to sleep and recuperate.

BetterDays2223 · 04/04/2023 08:36

Yep! Portugal last year for 5 nights and I’ve just returned from Malta this morning (although a friend joined half way through).
Holidays without family are the best!
Reset + rejuvenate = essential

Soproudoflionesses · 04/04/2023 08:40

That sounds like absolute heaven to me!!

JaneFondue · 04/04/2023 08:40

When DC were tiny I still left them with DH and went away for the weekend. And vice versa. As they got older I went away for longer. I could not have waited until they grew up.

Ishouldbeoutside · 04/04/2023 08:42

I had five days alone in the house two years ago. It was the best five days of my life. Literally the only time I’ve had alone in 36 years. It gave me the idea to go away alone and not sure why I haven’t done it yet. I’ve been on retreats and residential courses, but being completely alone is such a tonic.

Original poster
WillowtreeHouse · 04/04/2023 08:43

Alwayswonderedwhy · 04/04/2023 08:35

No but I think about it all the time! I'd feel guilty actually doing it.

I think that's why I've never done it before really. That and lack of funds/opportunity. I have a friend who is horrified that I would leave DH 'to fend for himself with the children' but DH is a perfectly capable 53 year old man and the 'children' are 15, 17 and 19 so I'm not sure what she thinks will happen to them.

OP posts:
Original poster
WillowtreeHouse · 04/04/2023 08:46

Ishouldbeoutside · 04/04/2023 08:42

I had five days alone in the house two years ago. It was the best five days of my life. Literally the only time I’ve had alone in 36 years. It gave me the idea to go away alone and not sure why I haven’t done it yet. I’ve been on retreats and residential courses, but being completely alone is such a tonic.

Try and do it - even for a weekend.

I lived alone for years and so did DH so we both appreciate our own company sometimes but I suppose 'normal' life gets in the way.

OP posts:
kavalkada · 04/04/2023 08:55

OP, sounds like heaven. It has been a while since I did it, but I remember how great it was.

JaneFondue · 04/04/2023 09:00

Why the guilt if you have teens? Mine didn't want to spend time with me at that age or were busy with GCSEs, A levels or uni.
Cost is a consideration of course, but even a cheap day trip helps.

Botw1 · 04/04/2023 09:04

Yes

I've no idea why anyone wouldnt or would feel guilty.

Especially as your children are pretty much adults

Original poster
WillowtreeHouse · 04/04/2023 09:37

I don't feel guilty, I said that.

OP posts:
mindutopia · 04/04/2023 10:01

Yep, I do every year for 3-5 days. Once I did exactly what you’ve done and went alone for the start of a family holiday (because I screwed up and booked it thinking school holidays started earlier than they did). Dh and dc came down on day 3 and stayed through the rest of the week. I was able to actually decompress, which was really nice. Dh doesn’t like being on his own and prefers to go away with friends, but I love a solo holiday.

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