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Original poster

End Of Life... Nurse Says Death Is 'imminent'?

53 replies

LittleLentils · 03/04/2023 22:01

Hi everyone,

My relative has advanced COPD and lung cancer. He has been having end of life care for 3 weeks. Today things took a turn though, and the palliative nurse told us 'death is imminent'. He was crying out in pain for morphine and has been sleeping since it was administered.

Does anyone work in end of life care that can help me understand if she means hours/days/weeks? We are all with him now.

Thanks for any help x

OP posts:
Girliefriendlikespuppies · 03/04/2023 22:04

Death is imminent would mean hours.

I'm really sorry 😢

ElsieWelsie · 03/04/2023 22:05

I would take that to mean it's likely/ possible tonight or tomorrow/ expected in the next few days. Wishing you all the best at this hard time.

WeAreTheHeroes · 03/04/2023 22:05

Within hours.

EconomyClassRockstar · 03/04/2023 22:05

Agree with the others. When we were told this about my Dad, he died a matter of hours later. So sorry.

SNWannabe · 03/04/2023 22:06

I would expect hours...maybe a day. Watch out for changes in breathing...speak to him or play music...dont be afraid to ask for him to have medication if he seems unsettled at all...like clenched hands or jaw...or moaning. I hope his passing is peaceful and you can say your Goodbyes.

WeAreTheHeroes · 03/04/2023 22:06

I'm sorry. At least the morphine means they are not in pain.

embod · 03/04/2023 22:07

I‘m so sorry you’re going through this. I lost my father in January to complications from a lung disease.

from my experience when they say imminent it’s usually hours, rather than days/weeks. Hopefully with the right medication he’ll be peaceful now.

sending you lots is support at this time.

Original poster
LittleLentils · 03/04/2023 22:13

Thanks for all of your replies and support. I will try and prepare myself for tonight or tomorrow then 💔

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 03/04/2023 22:14

💐

PuzzledObserver · 03/04/2023 22:15

I always remember the GP saying when my Dad was dying that giving morphine is a kind thing to do. It produces a sort of dream state, without pain, and he will drift away when he is ready.

Imminent means hours, probably. A few days at most.

LiliLil · 03/04/2023 22:16

If they are on a morphine driver, it will be hours not days.

Sending love x

Justmeandthedog1 · 03/04/2023 22:16

I’m so sorry. I agree with others that the nurse meant hours. Playing music is a good idea, or reading aloud. Don’t be scared to ask for medication to be kept up regularly, your relative shouldn’t be in pain for it to be given.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 03/04/2023 22:18

So sorry to hear you’re going through this. Is your relative in hospital, or hospice or home?

CombatBarbie · 03/04/2023 22:19

So sorry you are going through this Op.

When they said this about my gran, we anticipated hours.... 5 days later, on my DDs birthday she finally decided to let go x

Original poster
LittleLentils · 03/04/2023 22:23

@CurlyhairedAssassin he is at home. The hospice nurses came 3 weeks ago with a hospital bed for him.

Thats why we've had the issue with the morphine today. He's got plenty now though thankfully.

Thanks so much everyone.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 03/04/2023 22:27

I think two days at the most. But I dont think it can be exact. What a terrible time for you.,

coodawoodashooda · 03/04/2023 22:29

Sending you all love and prayers. I am so sorry.

Original poster
LittleLentils · 03/04/2023 22:34

So sorry for the losses of PPs as well 🩷

OP posts:
Edthehorse · 03/04/2023 22:37

It won't be long OP but could be days rather than hours. My wonderful dad was on a morphine driver but hung on for almost a week.
We sat and read to him and talked to him. His friends came to see him.
Sending you the best x

Username24680 · 03/04/2023 22:37

I’m so sorry for all you’re going through @LittleLentils 💐
I’ve been in your position a few times unfortunately and it’s really difficult. The nurse told us that “imminent” usually meant within 24 hours. I had one relative last 5 days after that. You’ll know when it’s happening.

I hope you all have the chance to say everything you want to say to your loved one and that they have a peaceful passing.

BloodyThursday · 03/04/2023 22:41

My father was in a ward in hospital as the hospice was full and they had no morphine driver to give him. As soon as a driver became available he lasted about 12 hours and was unconscious for all of that time.

ShowOfHands · 03/04/2023 22:45

My Grandma was in end of life care for 3 weeks when they said it was imminent. We all stayed with her from that moment (Saturday evening) and she died in the early hours of Sunday morning. She was agitated at first but was given morphine and midazolam and she fell asleep. She didn't wake up again. Her breathing was fast for quite a while but gradually slowed, as did her heart rate. She did move around in her last minutes and she sat bolt upright before she died. Nobody warned me that could happen. She wasn't aware of it and it was a bit frightening in the moment. The nurse explained it was normal and she wasn't distressed or in pain, simply dying.

I wish you lots of love and peace for the coming hours and days.

Original poster
LittleLentils · 03/04/2023 22:50

Oh goodness @ShowOfHands that would have been frightening. Yes, I'm thinking it'll be tonight or tomorrow morning. He hasn't been awake since the morphine this morning. So sorry for your loss.

We are talking to him and just being with him. I never thought of the music, I'll play his favourite song.

OP posts:
catscatscurrantscurrants · 03/04/2023 22:55

I'm sorry for what you're going through OP. I was in the same situation 3 years ago with my dad. Strength and my good wishes for you, and peace for your relative. 💐

Mariposista · 03/04/2023 23:00

Hi OP. I totally feel your pain. My beloved gran died on Wednesday, also at home, after a long battle with heart failure. The nurse said the 'it won't be long now' on Monday and she died Wednesday morning. But they really can't give a timeline. Each patient is different and depends on how their bodies react to the EOL drugs. My gran was not going down without a fight and sadly she really suffered a lot, and her passing was a huge blessing in the end, we just hated seeing her like that.
I hope that you keep strong, and that your relative dies as peacefully as possible. You will have a number to call the EOL nurses at any time of the day or night. We had to, they came up to 3 times one night to give gran sedatives, and they were just brilliant. Thinking of you. It is so so hard.

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