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What is fair?

5 replies

Newmnname10 · 03/04/2023 20:06

My DD is 18 in August. Her father and I have shared care, 50/50, and always have had.
She has decided, for the time being, to stay with her father more. He is unwell, and she feels that she wants to be available if needed.

I clothe her, give her some spending money, and she works a couple of shifts a week. She will be staying with me maybe two-three nights per week.

I’d like to give her dad some money to cover food etc that he will be paying the extra for.

She is at college, obviously it’s the holidays but she would usually have her lunch there 4 days a week. Plus she eats when she is at her boyfriends house maybe twice a week.

I’m not bothered about the above, as in I'm
not going to cost it out per meal, just giving a full picture.

Her dad receives the child benefit as I’m the main earner so felt that was fair to him.

What would you suggest as an amount please? Additional spend would be food, water and gas.

OP posts:
cherrypied · 03/04/2023 21:56

£10Per night?

It arbitrary really what can you afford?

Without knowing how much she
Is where and what she is doing. So 4 breakfasts at yours and 3 at his and same for dinner but the dinner with her boyfriend might be yo night or his night?

Plus three lunches?

determinedtomakethiswork · 03/04/2023 22:09

Does her dad work?

Newmnname10 · 03/04/2023 22:25

@cherrypied well with it being the holidays she’s out and about. I did think £10-15 a night though.

@determinedtomakethiswork no, he took early retirement but is on a decent private pension plus has just started receiving state pension.

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cherrypied · 04/04/2023 07:01

Is it a long term thing? Or just for the holidays? If it's just one or two extra nights a week for Couple
I'd weeks I'd not do anything. If it's longer term maybe £50 a month to cover 5 extra nights food.

It's won't cost much more for utilities.

NoSquirrels · 04/04/2023 07:04

It doesn’t really sound like you need to offer anything - have you offered already? Would he accept?

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