What happened to your sons football team when they moved to U12?

[Mangomingo]

DS is 11, in y6 and been playing in the team since beginning of year 3. He enjoys it and is decent enough, he’s not going to trouble the premier league any time soon but none of them in the team are.
There are 4 teams in his age group at the club, he’s in the B team but they’ve recently been promoted above the A Team so I am not sure now. C and D team are new this year with new players who have come in and might be better than some players in the A and B team.
Our team manager is lovely but very intense and there’s been a lot of talk recently about being more
competitive, need to get better at defence at the back (where my son plays) and that next season they play properly competitively, need to think about the mixed ability of the teams etc….. basically he wants to mix up the four teams and reclassify all the players. Fine with me, I don’t care but I’m finding it all a bit MUCH and im sort of feeling DS is being got at with all the talk of improving defence. If it was all handled well he wouldn’t care at being downgraded a team but if it’s all very intense with a lot of focus on who is better he’s going to probably feel more sensitive.

I can also be a bit sensitive and reactive when it comes to my kids and I’m starting to think fuck it and wanting to pull him out next season. He’s starting SS anyway where they will have games on Friday afternoons in a distant location he will have to get back from (and he trains with the football team Friday evenings). But he also loves playing with the team and I don’t want him to lose fitness or interest in sport.

The other complication is that his new school plays their competitive sport (rugby) on a Saturday, which he won’t be able to do until half way though y8 as he has a commitment on Saturdays until then (and by then probably won’t be picked anyway) so he won’t be able to fill the hole with that either.

I guess I’m asking whether your U12 team
calmed down a bit and whether it stayed fun or whether it all went a bit pressured and bonkers? Any advice?

Calmed down?
Nooo - add the hormones, league tables start from a certain age etc etc

I do football 6 days a week.
I have 2 ds’s (15 and 10).

15 year old academy level - 10 year old banter level and does it for the social side (but thinks he’s Messi) 😂
The little one it’s served a great purpose in that he’s playing in a team where he will go to SS with most of the boys next year (his PS has only 5 in his year).

But yeah - in my experience it wont calm down.

My son will be in the U12 next season. It gets VERY competitive, they will mix the teams up and also start dropping players if they're not good enough.

I wouldn't take him out of his currenr team just going off what the coach said about defence though. I'd wait to hear if he's moving teams first and then decide whether he's getting enough game time etc for yours and his liking.

What happened to my son when they moved to 11 a side was he was dropped from the team

Both my boys have played grassroots football from 5-18. Although they were 'inclusive' teams around the age of 12 it did suddenly become more competitive. The weaker players got less game time, parents and better players became more vocal. Within a couple of years the lesser players had all but left.
DS1 has finished now, DS2 is in his last season and over the years we've gone from watching them as cute little boys giving three cheers to managers getting headbutted, bad tackles breaking legs and the abandonment of matches due to physical aggro. Only last week the ref was called a 'dick' for not giving a penalty. We've seen it all, and this is a nice middle class team.

My son is U11 - there has been a big change between under 10 and U11 and I sense that DS will get dropped next year. They are becoming Sooo competitive. We have already started another sport( hockey) so that it doesn’t hurt as much when he doesn’t get picked for the football team. His SS play hockey and rugby so makes sense to put effort into one of those.

No, it doesn’t chill out. They’ll step up a gear and it only goes higher and higher.

If he’s determined to be subpar, he’ll be removed from the team.

More competitive. My DH is a coach and they did exactly that - mixed up the teams, ditched the "poorer" players. Unfortunately it gets a lot more serious and it's not about just wanting to play anymore, that's not enough, they have to be good. And there's 10 lads queuing up to join the team and take their place.

You want him in the team that is his level. If that means moving down then that's fine. Strong/reasonable player in a lower team is much more fun and less pressure than reasonable/poorer player in the top team.

Hopefully if the 4 teams are reorganised it will be good for all of them.

I have two sons aged 13 and 17 who have both played football since they were little. IME there's always some drama going on! Teams which fold because they don't do well in the league one season and the players jump ship, teams with super competitive parents, teams merging and arguing over who should play which position etc. There are also some great teams but it's very dependent on the attitude of the individual manager (usually a volunteer dad) rather than the club as a whole.

If your DS loves it I'd stick with it OP. I think it's really good for them to have friends outside school too/ Just don't take all the drama too seriously!

Don't stop playing for his team!

What's important for his own mental health and self esteem - is he plays in a team that matches his ability, in a league that matches his ability.

That doesn't mean throwing your toys out the pram because he gets moved 'down'. Better he does that but still
(a) continues to get game time
(b) wins a few games
(c) stays fit
(d) makes friends

Better that than
(a) he never gets picked
(b) they lose all the time
(c) loses motivation to play sport
(d) watches all his old footy mates make new friends

Determined to be subpar? He’s 11. Fuck off.

Everyone else - thanks. Sounds like I feared, it’s gets lots more pressured - I just don’t understand it tbh. It’s a game that none of them are going to play top flight. Why can’t it stay fun? Of course I agree he does want to play in a team at his level and I hope that’s what gets sorted out. But if it starts impacting self esteem then I will have a rethink…..

🙄 That’s the reality. Don’t get pissed off at me because that’s how the game works. If you’re not good enough (decided by the coaching staff), they’ll drop you.

My daughter has played for a while the team she at has become so competitive on about dropping player yet the coaches kids are obviously perfect Terrible