If you are autistic and was diagnosed as an adult, what were your main signs that made you sought a diagnosis?

[noeyehu]

Lately I have been considering whether I am autistic. I know it can present differently in women and have been reading up on symptoms, but I just wondered if you are autistic and was diagnosed as an adult what were your main signs?

I have a lot of social difficulties but would have previously just said I was shy/socially anxious. I also relate to the concept of masking and find socialising draining because of that, but again I thought that was more anxiety. I don’t have any sensory issues

I’m also interested in this, sorry I can’t give any answers.
It’s my sensory and communication issues that have made me think I have autism.

I hope you get some helpful people replying!

I was diagnosed with autism at age 34 shortly after my then 12yo daughter. Before her assessment I had no idea, but while I was in her assessment I thought "hang on, me too".

My son is going through an ASD diagnosis, and I definitely think - if it's him it's me too.

I've always felt 'different'. Getting a diagnosis of autism (Asperger's) helped me to understand that feeling.

I score 42/50 on the autism quotient test and higher on ones designed for women. I tend to think “of course, doesn’t everyone?” to some questions and “why would anyone think like that?” to others.

I have lots of sensory issues and still toe walk, flap my hands, look at light out of the corner of my eyes and chew things when not with other people. I sleep under a weighted blanket. I can’t cope with affection which does upset DH and I can’t make eye contact at all, it’s so uncomfortable!

I have lots of social anxiety and can’t manage in crowded places or if multiple conversations are going on at once.

I have a restricted diet and am obsessed with losing/ maintaining my weight. I also can’t let myself eat outside of my routine but I get seriously hangry if I haven’t eaten on time.

As a child, I had obsessions that came and went, like serious obsessions with random things and I still have to remind myself not to talk incessantly at people about one thing (usually my dog!).

A trail of destroyed friendships and prematurely ended jobs. Wondered why I couldn't function in society like a 'normal' person. Read an article about female autism and did an on-line test - all clicked into place. Got my diagnosis a year later.

"Wondering why I couldn't function in society as a normal person" as a PP said pretty much covers it.

Have you tried doing the AQ50 and seeing what you score?

OMG you are me, except I scored 41. I never realized affection reluctance was one. I would let you talk about your dog for hours as long as I get the next hour for mine😁. Thank you for your post, it helped me feel more 'normal' if that makes sense.🌻

@noeyehu have you ever filled out the autism quotient test? Worth doing if you’re wondering about yourself but you need to remember to think about what you actually want/like not just what you can do because you have to, if that makes sense.

Also re sensory issues, you might find it revealing to start thinking about ‘acceptable’ stuff like chewing pen caps, doodling in meetings, not wearing wool next to skin, how you feel about talking when the tv is on etc- you might find you come to a category and suddenly you have a whole list of sensory issues you had minimised or discounted, and stims you would have if you let yourself.

Obsessive interests, social difficulties, and sensory issues. I thought everyone thought and behaved like me until I trad an article about women with aspergers 15 years ago.

@Idratherbepaddleboarding are there any publicly accessible tests for women that you found particularly helpful? I’d be really grateful if you could share a link or a title to Google.

Diagnosed at 23
I had always wondered.
I was smart and stood out from my peers all of my life. Had a lot of friends when 18/19 and drank a lot. Then realised I was binge drinking to get through parties I didn’t want to go to

sensory issues from very young to the point of hospitalisation over lack of food when safe foods removed.

so many other things I wrote my psych a 27k page document. And then it was also suggested to me during my ADHD assessment

i don’t appear socially odd I don’t think. But I did come home and burst into tears after a day in clinics at vet school. Then I’d be unable to even feed myself as I was so exhausted

No visual memory at all. Struggle with driving due to all the sensory inputs. I can drive, i passed at 17 but I still find it nerve wracking now and I also get lost even in my own house. Don’t know where anything is in the cupboards and couldn’t tell you how to get to my house if I was even only 1/2 miles away

I was always annoyed that things my brother and I did were classed as autism as him (he was diagnosed Asperger’s) and anxiety in me, when they didn’t make me anxious, I just didn’t like them (as I tried repeatedly to tell the diagnosing psych).

I tried explaining the ‘itchy in my brain’ feeling of sensory revulsion, ‘ears ringing’ of too much sound and ‘feeling like my head is spinning’ after too much conversation. I have obsessive hobbies and would regularly rehearse conversations. I knew people would probably think it odd that I’d recycle successful conversations or phrases so if someone were to follow me around they’d see me repeat the exact same conversational script using predictable questions and answers to steer it according to a script I felt comfortable with. I also just thought I wasn’t trying hard enough with executive function/work struggles.

When DD was going through her ADHD stuff and I learned about the heritability of Autism & ADHD/ASD link, I started to think maybe there was something in there especially as the friends I feel most comfortable with are by coincidence diagnosed ASD. I brought it up with one and he was confused and said he thought I was diagnosed already.

Looked into it more and … yep. It answers a lot of questions!

I came to it via a different way
I was diagnosed with dyspraxia at 39 thought that explains all school difficulties
Son diagnosed ASD
I was then diagnosed with hyper mobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome which is four times more likely in autistic people
Read a book on autism in women and girls by Sara Hendrickx and remembered all the sensory issues I had as a child and now to a lesser extent
Found out some weird stuff I do is actually stims
Left to my own devices I will have a very strict routine which features as few people as possible and same rotation of food
Work burn out (only when an employee I'm better as self employed)
But I've really mastered the social communication thing so only people closest to me know how much effort it takes to fit in

I do have definite sensory issues but didn't realise for a long time (hate showers, hate water in my face, don't like clothes around my neck, struggle with too many layers, often hot when others are cold).

I stim by twirling my hair or fiddling with seams on my socks. I rarely sit properly so my feet are almost always underneath me when I sit, I end up putting holes in my socks.

If I go somewhere new I google map it so I can see the surroundings and know exactly where I'm going. Plan the route, timing, check out parking etc.

If I don't know how something works I'll avoid it or make sure I'm with someone else.

Hate changing plans at the last min or if I have plans in my head but someone else in the house suggests something it throws me.

My dd pointed out how I dislike them having friends around unless I have lots of notice.

I can cope well 1:1 or in small groups but large groups throw me even if I know everyone there.

I have always been 'shy'

@ADHDVet

27,000 pages??? That’s like 1000 volumes of war and peace!

fucking hell, makes my 500 pages positively pathetic!! Was it a hour by hour account of your life??

but I definitely relate to the binge drinking and socialising.

My sons developmental Dr pointed it out years ago that he suspected I was autistic to. It was only when we noticed dd was also autistic I realised he was right. DD and DS are both completely different DD is like I was as a child. I hope is knowing now will mean all the support will benefit her rather than like what I had which was none and told to get on with no support I left school as I couldn't cope.

There are quite a few free tests you can do on the embrace autism website. I've done them all and am fairly confident I am autistic now. I'm trying to decide if I want to try and get a diagnosis. I'm waiting for an ADHD assessment at the moment and it makes sense to me to get that because it would mean I could try medication, but an autism diagnosis would only be to confirm what I believe, so I'm not sure.

I have a psychology appointment tomorrow for an assessment - it's because of my anxiety but I really want to ask about autism. I feel like they'll think I'm jumping on a bandwagon though if I mention it?

Dd has dyslexia, ds has dyspraxia and we are all hyper mobile interestingly.

Being almost trapped by my need for routine, we have the same breakfasts at the same time - 7am even in the holidays! I realised how anxious change made me, though I mask that as well as I can. Dislike of social situations, and using “rules” of etiquette I learnt many years ago to try and deal with said situations. I therefore come across somewhat formal but very polite. A pedantry that goes beyond a joke for many. And I love efficiency and logic even though I live in what many would consider chaos, so may be hidden to others because I cannot live up to my perfectionist ideals and then am overwhelmed. I don’t understand society, at all, and can be so very lonely.

Thanks all - finding all of these really interesting!

As a child I think I came across as quite neurotypical, except from very, very shy. I was well-behaved and intelligent, but a bit of a daydreamer. I remember I would just stare into space in lessons a lot. I had good friendships though and functioned pretty well until the age of around 16, I've not really made any new friends since I was a teenager and I'm late 20s now.

I struggle a lot in the workplace, in meetings I'm concentrating so much on how to look, act and speak that I can't engage the part of my brain required for basic thinking, so I'll struggle to recall basic things like the name of my projects.

I'll do an autism quotient test now as I haven't ever done one before I don't think

I was diagnosed aged 44.

I felt like I never fit in anywhere, everyday life was so difficult. Social stuff makes me anxious. Obsessions - mainly music based or make celebrities - I get all consumed by them.

What made me seek diagnosis? My youngest son was diagnosed and while researching I realised that he was just like me. I have an older son who is also autistic, and has learning disabilities, so I didn't really associate how he is with how I am, but my youngest is very much like I was as a child. He also has inattentive type ADHD, which I also think I might have.

I went for a private diagnosis as it meant no phoning a doctor and having to explain why I wanted to be referred, just an email asking to be seen by the psychologist.

I haven't gone for an ADHD diagnosis as the psychologist that diagnosed autism doesn't do ADHD and I can't afford private, so won't phone the doctor, to probably be fobbed off with how I've coped this long (not well though, my life is chaos!)

Basically this + disastrous romantic relationships.

Accompanied by the entirely useless skill of being able to remember every number plate I drive past on the way to work, huge sensory sensitivities, and being able to read books in my head for a photographic memory….

Honestly, for my DH the main clue/symptom was ...

Autistic children and a partner (me) who guided the children through all appointments and said...maybe you should come to some assessments DH...you may find this interesting 😑🕵🏻 also please stop talking in minute detail about your niche job that no one understands but is too polite to tell you 😆

I was 26 when I was assessed (27 when I received the formal diagnosis).

The most fundamental thing that led me to seek a diagnosis was a feeling that everyone else seemed to have an instinctive social understanding that I lacked. I also had a long history of (clinical) anxiety and low mood, as well as an eating disorder.