DS Started Swearing.

pandorasboxx · 2023-04-03T10:44:29+00:00

My DS ( 6 ) has started swearing occasionally and I don't know what to do. He goes to a good school in a decent area and plays with nice boys. But he's coming home and sticking his fingers up and saying other swear words. When asked, he says he's heard them from another child within his group. I don't really know what to do about it? Do I speak to the teachers? He's already lost some of his treats and privileges for misbehaving in his swimming lesson. I'm not saying we don't swear, it occasionally slips out and I'll apologise and say it's not ok to say that word and that DS may hear those words sometimes but it's not ok to say them.

otherwayup · 03/04/2023 11:48

What's your definition of 'nice' boys op?

DedicatedFollowerOfFashion84 · 03/04/2023 11:48

Swearing itself doesn’t really bother
me so long as my children are very clear on not using swear words aimed at someone and being respectful to people. They also need to know there’s a time and a place, eg they absolutely should NOT be swearing in school etc. I have no issue with a swear word slipping out of they’ve dropped something or stubbed their toe. It’s just words after all. My children are polite, well mannered and respectful to each other, us and other adults so I don’t see any issue.

madnessitellyou · 03/04/2023 12:37

You tell him that you don't want to hear/see it in the house then completely ignore it.

My dc are 15 and 12 and know all the words. Dh and I aren't particularly sweary and there's an expectation in this house that there's no need to use foul language to get our point across. It's not big, it's not clever and it's more often than not completely unnecessary.

At 6, however, I would be telling school. Too many parents normalise swearing and believe me, being told to f off by an 11 year old who has been asked to sit down is really not on (teacher).

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 03/04/2023 12:38

My DD swore at 18 months and I told her we never say those words ever and she's never sworn since.

Badbudgeter · 03/04/2023 12:48

You have a long chat/ long and boring punishment with him every time he swears in front of an adult. My children fill in pot holes on the drive whilst I explain at length the consequences of failing to understand your audience. They quickly learn that it’s not worthwhile. They still swear but not within earshot but f people who will tell you about.

givemushypeasachance · 03/04/2023 12:56

Swearing isn't in itself harmful though. If you drop a glass of water and it smashes and you say "shit!" - does the sky fall in?

Which would you find worse, your child saying fuck when they stub their toe, or them saying to another child "you're stupid and ugly and no one likes you and you're never going to have any real friends".

Swearing AT people is unpleasant behaviour, and certain words are harmful if they're racist/ableist. But generally swearing is like masturbation. There's a time and a place for it. Not in front of the vicar or your nan.

Littlehouseinthebigcity · 03/04/2023 13:11

Ch f. Ffg

RudsyFarmer · 03/04/2023 13:14

I hear people on here talking about ignoring it. I’m afraid I haven’t adopted that approach.

My approach was to say in a very firm, authoritative voice that I don’t want to hear those words coming out of my child’s mouth and if I heard them again there would be consequences (usually loss of screens or football). I haven’t heard the words since. That’s not to say I think he’s never said them or doesn’t think them in his head, I’ve just never heard them and that’s good enough for me.

MissyB1 · 03/04/2023 13:19

The consequence needs to be unpleasant/tedious enough to make him stop.

Riapia · 03/04/2023 14:07

Tell him to STFU he’ll know what you mean.
😁😁

DedicatedFollowerOfFashion84 · 03/04/2023 14:37

givemushypeasachance · 03/04/2023 12:56

Swearing isn't in itself harmful though. If you drop a glass of water and it smashes and you say "shit!" - does the sky fall in?

Which would you find worse, your child saying fuck when they stub their toe, or them saying to another child "you're stupid and ugly and no one likes you and you're never going to have any real friends".

Swearing AT people is unpleasant behaviour, and certain words are harmful if they're racist/ableist. But generally swearing is like masturbation. There's a time and a place for it. Not in front of the vicar or your nan.

100% this

ApocalypseNowt · 03/04/2023 15:33

We went for "there's no such thing as bad language, only language used badly" tack.

Explained if I ever heard my DC swear at school/in front of Granny, etc there would be big trouble! Seems to have worked so far...

loafintheoven · 03/04/2023 15:45

@Badbudgeter - that made me laugh!
With a 6 year old, I'd ask (in a neutral voice) if he knows what the words mean. If not, an appropriate-level explanation might leave him shocked enough not to repeat them!
When my DD started swearing (around age 10, I think), she used horrible Americanisms like "fricking" - I just had to correct them! She was trying to shock, so I shocked her right back. "If you really have to swear, please use the correct words ..." She pretty much stopped there and then.

loafintheoven · 03/04/2023 15:46

I recognise that this might be an unconventional approach.

gkhg · 03/04/2023 21:44

loafintheoven · 03/04/2023 15:45

@Badbudgeter - that made me laugh!
With a 6 year old, I'd ask (in a neutral voice) if he knows what the words mean. If not, an appropriate-level explanation might leave him shocked enough not to repeat them!
When my DD started swearing (around age 10, I think), she used horrible Americanisms like "fricking" - I just had to correct them! She was trying to shock, so I shocked her right back. "If you really have to swear, please use the correct words ..." She pretty much stopped there and then.

Love this

DS Started Swearing.

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