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Original poster

Is your 3 year old hard work?

26 replies

reallyreallyverytired · 03/04/2023 04:27

Like all the bloody time? Like just completely relentless and EVERY SINGLE THING IS DIFFICULT?

I try really hard to be on his level, validate his feelings, give choices etc etc. But honestly a lot of the time I just want to scream FOR FUCKS SAKE JUST DO IT.

I could cry.

OP posts:
WingingIt101 · 03/04/2023 04:30

Yes.

My DH came in to me, exasperated, asking "why does she NEVER listen?"

She has moments of gorgeousness and can be so lovely but also days where it's like she's trying to push every boundary out there and it's really really hard.

You aren't alone in this. Like everything else with them it's just a phase and I'm sure by the time the next big one comes along we will be longing for these days!

Stay strong, you're doing better than you think xx

SarahLHs · 03/04/2023 04:34

Yes. Her new favourite saying is 'I make the rules'.

Danikm151 · 03/04/2023 04:38

It’s so bloody hard especially when they have the sass to talk properly now, they’re so headstrong!

mine ran off at the park- a really long distance . I caught up with him and told him never to do that again as it’s not safe and very naughty. He said “ok mommy but I’m not naughty” and ran into the play area. A lot of deep breaths were had that day!

He’s also going through a phase of not liking certain trousers… I’d say it’s a sense of style thing… it’s more he wants to run around bare legged in the cold 🤦🏽‍♀️

Interested in this thread?

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3 year olds Behaviour & development Families
ChocolateKettle · 03/04/2023 06:44

Oh god yes. I've got two of them (twins) and I could kick all the people who said "oh it gets easier" when they were lovely little newborns!! I feel that there is never a moment when everyone is happy and bloody quiet
The constant, CONSTANT whining from the moment they wake up until bed time is just too much. I feel awful as I'm constantly snapping at them, which obviously doesn't help the situation. love them to pieces but I am really struggling with them at the moment. They start pre-school after Easter and I'm hoping that things will get a bit easier then.

BertieBotts · 03/04/2023 06:45

DS1 was like this, DS2 easier at 3 but like this at 4.5. It's extremely wearing.

HistoryFanatic · 03/04/2023 06:48

WingingIt101 · 03/04/2023 04:30

Yes.

My DH came in to me, exasperated, asking "why does she NEVER listen?"

She has moments of gorgeousness and can be so lovely but also days where it's like she's trying to push every boundary out there and it's really really hard.

You aren't alone in this. Like everything else with them it's just a phase and I'm sure by the time the next big one comes along we will be longing for these days!

Stay strong, you're doing better than you think xx

My daughter is 5. It hasn't got any better with the lack of listening!

Cheesedoffandgrumpy · 03/04/2023 07:03

Yes. It is relentless.

ChocolateKettle · 03/04/2023 07:12

I feel quite bad for writing that now. One of them came in for a morning cuddle and I told her I love her lots. She replied "oh mumma, you're such a little cutie pie" and kissed me 😂
These are the moments we must think of when it all gets too much. They can be lovely, even if it's only fleeting!

mrsbitaly · 03/04/2023 07:47

Absolutely yes. I had a really easy time with my firstborn but my second daughter is the absolute complete opposite. She screamed at me yesterday morning because I refused to put cheese, cucumber and ham in her snap crackle and pop cereal. The mum mum mum mum mum is relentless even when I answer she carries on. She's very strong willed, independent but does not like to play on her own everything has to be done together which sounds lovely but can be exhausting.

This all sounds negative but she is very funny, clever and confident.she is a whirlwind and keeps me on my toes

gotmychristmasmiracle · 03/04/2023 07:50

OMG the constant moaning 😮‍💨😵‍💫🤪

Original poster
reallyreallyverytired · 03/04/2023 12:44

Well I shouted at him today and now feel like shit and wondering what the hell I'm doing, how other people manage. He threw a toy in my face and I snapped. He hates being shouted at and I feel so shitty upsetting him.

OP posts:
marmite2023 · 03/04/2023 12:53

But if he doesn’t learn these boundaries and he throws a big toy at a smaller child, he could really hurt them. It’s fine for you to react in pain/shock, as he needs to learn. Sometimes they need a bit of snapping at. Animals learn boundaries by being snapped at by a mother who has been hurt by them. Humans are just animals. He needs to feel you being upset or his behaviour won’t change and he won’t develop empathy (that throwing things hurts/shocks other people). It’s not fine to shout because he’s changed his mind over which cereal to eat, which is when shouting becomes harmful, and you’re not doing that.

You’ve got the balance right. You’re doing fine!

Oldermum84 · 03/04/2023 13:03

Oh yes. I have to ask him to do something 10x and then shout. I'm in early pregnancy too and wondering how I'll manage with 2 when my son takes half an hour to put his trousers on 🙈

gotmychristmasmiracle · 03/04/2023 20:47

Honestly I found 3 the hardest age so far, testing and pushing my boundaries constantly. My little one actually remember me shout at her when she was 3 😬 but we had some seriously stressful things going on and i just snapped. I feel terribly guilty for it and hope it's not affected her and hope she forgets soon. It's really hard 💐 start afresh tomorrow and obvs apologise for shouting in the morning.
Also I've just joined the local gym and they have a crèche in the mornings 9-11am and I can go do a class and have a break, I did yoga and it was so lovely and peaceful, wish I had joined sooner. Try and look for some changes so you can have a break also.

joelmillersbackpack · 03/04/2023 20:59

OMG it’s absolutely relentless, arguing the toss about everything. Every single daily task. Everything has to be asked at least three times. Just fucking do it! Also the drama about nothing, swearing blind the dog has hit him and another nonsense.

I really struggle with when to correct the cheek, which descends into him telling me why I’m wrong and ignoring it which feels like I’m setting the baseline for shitting behaviour.

He also has started to mansplain me things like ‘mummy this is how you walk’ and ‘mummy this is how you swim’.

I’ve found joy in exercise for the peace. Good job I work most of the week and he tells me I’m beautiful about twenty times a day.

Number24Bus · 03/04/2023 21:01

SarahLHs · 03/04/2023 04:34

Yes. Her new favourite saying is 'I make the rules'.

Grin
LolaFerrari · 03/04/2023 21:11

This is why I have one child only.

MuffinToSeeHere · 03/04/2023 21:11

Mine is also 3 and daily in my head I find myself trying hard not to scream into the void. His new favourite thing is he currently bloody loves to pick an argument. The sky is not blue it's yellow, the door is not closed there is intact no door, he even argued that his name was actually not his name the other day and I felt like throwing myself out the window to escape the tedium of his desire to start non stop arguments.

Blooming child even likes to argue with his teddies after lights out, the epitome of picking an argument in an empty room.

Raggeo · 03/04/2023 21:13

I'm so relieved my 3yo isn't the only one like this😅 Pushing boundaries all the time, cries at the drop of a hat, so stubborn, argues black is white and always with a big long explanation about why he can't possibly do what I have asked him to do! Some days are very, very long! Then at other times he is the sweetest, cuddliest boy and a lot of fun. Although even then it's exhausting because I'm trying to predict what could throw things off and try to prevent them.

TheToothofaPig · 03/04/2023 21:28

Late twos and three were definitely the hardest ages with my daughter. Thinking of those years still makes me shudder. Because she turned three in May I had to wait till September for her free nursery hours (probably different system now). It was a term time only nursery that really only did the funded places. I went round to speak to the nursery manager, explained how exasperated I was with my DD, she took pity on me and we came to a financial arrangement where they had her for a few hours a week from May till end of term in July before the Sept hours could start as they miraculously had space. It wasn't much but it made such a difference to me and didn't cost the earth.

It was like living with a mad dictator. We used to call her Kim Jon il in secret.

She is 11 now and lovely company. Turning point was definitely 4/5 and going to school.

I used to fantasise about becoming a member of the Royal family who only saw their children for a few hours a day before nanny took them off to nap time or children's high tea and what not Grin

It used to annoy me when people said 'this too shall pass' as it feels so relentless and hideous when you're in the middle of it. But it really will pass! Thank god!

Lmber · 03/04/2023 21:31

They all are. Then they stop napping and go to school, who hopefully get them in a treadmill of reasonable behaviour through peer pressure.

allfurcoatnoknickers · 03/04/2023 21:36

Mine is absolutely feral, but I'll still take it over the godawful newborn stage, which I absolutely HATED. At least he's not boring now and can make conversation.

pumpkintits · 03/04/2023 21:44

Mine was an absolute beastly little brat until she was 3 and a half and started going to full time nursery. She's like a different child now thankfully, couldn't have put up with it for 15 more years!

Todaynotalways · 03/04/2023 21:52

DD has always been a child of two halves.

Amicable, reasonably, charming, delightful.

And absolutely psychological warfare.

She's now 6yo, and we get more delightful, and less MK-UItra.

GlumyGloomer · 03/04/2023 21:55

Mine is still awake 😬