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Autism in Adult Woman - Should I Seek Diagnosis?

3 replies

ResetLisette · 02/04/2023 16:55

I've been building up to posting this for a couple of years. I've written out a lengthy story of my life, and - you'll be relieved to learn - deleted it Grin

I'm more and more convinced that I should investigate whether or not I am somewhere on the spectrum. My reasons for doing so are complex, but are linked to massive self esteem issues that have led to terrible decisions and a good amount of self hatred. Also being told I'm a weirdo all my life (thanks family).

I've bullet pointed the main things:

Told in every single school report that I'm able, bright but failed to apply myself. Always, always, always failing to apply myself. I never knew what this meant or how to fix it.

I didn't know how to revise for exams (luckily passed most)

I've been fired (nicely) from every job I've had, from Saturday girl to professional. It's always the same thing - I know what needs to be done and how to do it (sort of), but I have no idea how to get myself to do it. I went freelance in an area I love and am successful. I never deal with anyone except in emails messages to accept and send work. That's perfect for me.

I an introverted beyond reason. I was popular as a kid, and am now, but I don't want any people around me, ever. I get stressed beyond belief about a friend coming to our house. I cannot understand why people want to sit and chat - I hate it. One visit from a friend can cause days of stress.

No one (except DH) knows this - everyone thinks I'm relaxed, smily, jokey, happy-go-lucky, etc. I mask for England.

I've always picked at my skin. Always, mainly feet (sorry, but I've got to say it). I cannot stop doing it. I don't know why I do it, but I can't stop.

Loud noises really upset me. Motorbikes, shouting, a number of voices speaking at ones. They hurt my ears and I can actually start crying.

People become one thing with me. One incident colours my view and they become two dimensional people with no nuance - I can't understand how people can be good people if they've been mean. I know how this sounds - I'm just trying to explain the inside of my head.

I have felt slightly wrong all my life. My family have always called me weirdo, and still do (mainly because of the extreme introversion).

I'm reading more and more about adult women being diagnosed and relate to much of what they say. I'm so sick of feeling that I failed at school, that I failed every job, and that I don't understand why I can't just feel normal.

If there was a reason that explained some of this, it would help me so much.

If anyone can advise, I'd be so grateful. I'd prefer to go private if possible - is that possible? My GP is not the right person here.

Otherwise, I've written it all down, and that's actually quite therapeutic in itself.

OP posts:
ResetLisette · 02/04/2023 16:56

Oh God, that looks so much longer now. I'm sorry 😟

OP posts:
BoardLikeAMirror · 02/04/2023 17:04

If you feel it would be helpful, you should certainly seek assessment - but bear in mind, it will be an assessment and might not result in a diagnosis.

Taking an online AQ10 test (plenty available if you Google) can give a preliminary indication of autistic traits.

Going private is almost certainly your best option, if it's affordable, as GPs are often reluctant to refer adults and waiting lists are very long. The costs are normally between £1000 and £2000 for an assessment.

Do check out the 'Neurodiverse Mumsnetters' board for more discussions about diagnosis paths.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/neurodiverse_mumsnetters

Wishing you the best.

Neurodiverse Mumsnetters | Mumsnet

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https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/neurodiverse_mumsnetters

teacakie · 02/04/2023 17:13

I would look into assessment, that way you will know one way or the other.

It was life changing for me. I don't say that lightly.

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