I can't eat moderately.

[Bemyclementine]

I need to lose weight. At least 3 stone if not 4. I lost 2 5 st in 2021, but eating very little (shakes x 2, small meal).I've since regained that and more.

I just can't seem to "do" moderation. It's all or nothing.

I know I need to change my mindset, but how? Food is one of my only pleasures.

Does don't work in the long run. Find other stuff that makes you happy and stop worrying about food. Easier said than done, I know.

*diets

Well yes, if only it were that easy hey? I'm guilty of having previously thought "just stop eating so much then!" When people would complain about being overweight. Karma...

I just can't have junk food in the house. Once I crack I just scoff the lot and then the addiction cycle (salt, fat, sugar) just starts again. I can't be hungry either though, so never restrict fruit/veg, whole foods. We batch cook stuff for the freezer (like bolognese, stews, soups, curries....hairy dieter recipes are good) so we're prepared during the week and don't crack when we're tired and order a take away or eat processed meals. Lunch is always leftovers/soup which fills me up more than sandwiches. I've quit booze and sugary cappuccino. e

Agree with previous poster though, if food is your pleasure or hobby then you'll obsess over it and more likely to overeat. My pleasures are reading, being outside walking/gardening/cycling, playing instruments/singing. I need something to distract me in the evenings. I've stopped doomscrolling by switching my phone off at 8pm and only watching something I am really interested in.

I really do think food can be an addiction and it's usually covering up some unmet need/trauma/emotions. I eat when I'm stressed or upset but also see it as a reward so eat to celebrate. Which meant I was constantly eating! I'm still working on it but cutting out junk, evening eating after dinner, booze and upping water and steps all make me feel better. I read Rangan Chatterjee's 4 pillar plan this year which helped me apply a more holistic approach and not obsess over food.

Good luck...you can do it but you need to start small otherwise you'l just crack.

@PatienceOfEngels you very hit the nail on the head in so many ways!

I definitely have some unmet needs. I've been single with small DC for 5 yrs, they were babies when I separated from exH. I'm alone a lot, every evening, and food has become a crutch. And wine. Until recently I've felt "happy" on my own but I think I just didn't have the capacity for anything/anyone else I'm my life. So, I'm very probably a bit lonely .

I find it a lot easier to eat less when I make sure my meals are protein rich. I've eaten poorly today and I've been starving. By poorly I mean like choc spread on toast for breakfast instead of dippy egg or turkey rasher cob. Same poor choices for lunch. I usually don't feel that hungry between meals but I really do today. So could you try and think about some good choice foods instead of diet foods? Would that help?

What are you triggers?

for me eating carbs sends me greedy as hell so I avoid them

Me too. The way I was able to manage it was by cutting out starchy and refined carbs. My carb intake was mostly limited to veg, pulses, dairy and fruit, in that order (Im not a massive fruit fan)

High protein ( around 60-80g a day, some will say thats not that high)

This seemed to enable me to have a normal hunger, not that uncontrollable craving hunger that leads to being unable to moderate food. I cut calories too and this cut my appetite as well

@MsChatterbox that would be a good start, but often my meals are pretty good. It's the snacks that are dreadful. I don't have to be hungry to eat unfortunately.

@AbsoIutelyLovely office days, and after the dc are in bed are my worst times.

@bellac11 I think you're right in that I need a total diet overhaul. Maybe I can be strict about what I eat rather than how much. I can very easily follow a very strict diet , but obviously not sustainable.

Keen to hear from anyone else

When I asked what your triggers were, I meant what food

for me it’s carbs and the only way my hunger is controlled is when I don’t eat any at all.

so are you a carb fiend or is it other stuff? You need to find a way that works for you.

I know you are asking about diet, but I actually eat a lot better and manage to avoid the sugars when I exercise. I thinks it’s a combination of having more energy and also being more reluctant to undo the hard work of exercising by binging on crap.

@AbsoIutelyLovely nothing specific really, whatever is to hand.

@Anyonebut yes, I think that works for me too, but I can't go to exercise classes/run with the DC and I really really struggle to stay motivated exercising at home although I'm goi g to try!

I'm similar in that I'm all or nothing. The only thing that works for me is a combination of things.

As pp have said cutting carbs massively reduces my appetite particularly for sweet things.

Avoiding eating until as late as possible (so skipping breakfast in my case) I find eating just sets off my appetite.

Also using delay don't deny mind set where I tell myself I can have a certain food but not until a certain time, this makes it easier to avoid the depressing thoughts of having to live on a restricted diet forever... I have a cream tea booked in a couple of weeks and I have allowed myself that indulgence but I have to eat ok until then. It helps that I feel physically better when I'm eating well.

I'm also a freelancer and I have several upcoming meetings with new clients and want to look my best so that is a big motivator. It helps that this happens every couple of weeks so on a rolling basis I have a new motivation. Having this kind of goal is really helpful to me, especially if I can pause in that moment before making a food choice and ask myself how I want to feel next week.

Echoing pp advice about not having stuff in the house. If you need stuff for the kids then is there anything that they like that you don't? I cant stand ginger so buy ginger biscuits as I would rather eat nothing. Same with white chocolate or coconut things.

I definitely need some tactics for the evenings. The dc have stayed up later abd I got straight in the bath when they went to bed. Then will go to bed myself.

I like the idea of the delay not deny thing, I think we're having a meal out Thursday so in the short term will aim for that.