Autism referral

[Thingsthatgo]

My ds who is 10 has been referred for an autism referral. His teacher suggested it might be a good idea, the sendco was less convinced but is going along with it. I feel that it is likely that he will not get an ASD diagnosis (but as his mum, I might be too close to the situation to be objective).
If he has ASD he presents much like a girl with ASD, so it could be a possibility that he is very good at masking. (I used to be a teacher so I have some experience of asd)

Had anyone been through the process and not got a diagnosis? Are there any downsides to this? Will it be a positive experience for my DS anyway? Will it take up a lot of time?
I am going to do it, because if he has ASD it might be useful to know in the future, especially as he is starting secondary school this year.

In my experience they put you on the waiting list then ignore you for about three years. When they finally get round to it, it won’t take up your time, it’ll happen during school hours. And it’s better to have it done for free at school, because adult assessments are impossible to get unless you have a couple of thousand pounds to go private.

Waiting lists are years rather than months, post-Covid. Huge backlogs. If you were hoping for answers before his transition to secondary school, you're going to be disappointed. My experience was that there was a screening call and there was enough evidence to proceed with the referral. My daughter is 15 though so I'm going private as she desperately needs support and a formal diagnosis should make that easier to obtain (everyone says support is needs based but then ask for formal evidence!).

Secondary school can break autistic children though, the number of transitions in a day/week, increased social exposure, more rules, more sensory overload. If there's any chance he could be autistic, then make his secondary school aware so they can adapt his transition accordingly and keep an eye out.

What traits did his teacher see that makes her think he is autistic? Are there behaviours at home that you have adapted to without realising? My daughter was a champion masker but there were so many little things I'd just put down to personality / shyness and when she unmasked it was obvious she's autistic.

It doesn't take long, he should have an initial assessment to gauge whether it's necessary to go through the full diagnostic process anyway.

Not noticing autism in your own children is quite common. Even Tony Atwood didn't see it in his child and he's a leading authority an autism!

The wait list is years, in my area it's around 3 for children and 5 fit adults. If private is an option you could do an assessment, from memory psychiatry UK is around £500 for the initial assessment but full diagnosis is additional cost.

it doesn’t take long? What experience have you had thsts made you think that as it’s not the same one as everyone else

A lot of parents don’t notice their child’s behaviours as possibly autistic, because to them it’s normal. Being a genetic disorder, it’s really common for parents to realise they themselves are also autistic as they’ve recognised their own behaviours as autistic through the official diagnosis of their children.

It’s early and my wording is probably clumsy, but we have three kids. Two confirmed ASD, the third almost certainly and we’re pushing for a referral for her though school is reluctant. I see it in my own father who dismisses my children’s diagnosis as he was just the same at that age so they are completely normal.

My DH is certain he is as he and the children are so alike in how they react to situations. Am I? I think maybe. Though as adults we’re both okay and manage well, the waiting lists are long so we won’t take up a place on a waiting list ourselves unless that changes.

I think it's a postcode lottery to be honest. My 5 year old DS was referred in December, had an initial triage apparently in March and is going to the next step in July. I understand he won't be diagnosed at that appropriate and it will take longer but my experience is that things have moved quicker than I expected them to. If you can afford to go private the Toby Henderson Trust is supposed to be very good

Thanks all. He has some fairly rigid thinking, and a grown up way of talking. He can struggle with new physical challenges (like riding a bike) and it makes him a bit panicky. But he has never had a melt down, has no sensory issues, is very confident in new situations. Has always loved school and scouts, residentials etc. He will eat anything and has no problems sleeping. He has a nice group of friends. I would say that he is socially and emotionally a bit behind his age group.
The teacher said that she has 'a friend with a son like DS, and he has a diagnosis'
The sendco said she thinks he has 'mild traits'. I ran through an online assessment with DS and he scored pretty low. I've talked to him about the referral and he is cool about it.
I am happy for him to be assessed, as long as DS is happy too.

OP asked if it would take up a lot of time, the assessment doesn't take longer than a couple of hours usually. The waiting list is around 3 years in most areas but I didn't think that is what OP was asking.

@AxolotlOnions thank you. I didn't word it very clearly, but yes, I was asking how much time it would take up, rather than how long we will need to wait. I guess my concern is how impactful it will be on our lives.