What's it like to be naturally clever?

[peopleaskweirdstuff]

I know this is daft but I often wonder what it must be like to be really intelligent, you know like just very knowledgeable and very capable of just doing well in exams without really needing to put the effort in.

I'm trying to resit my exams that I should have passed when I was much younger and I'm
Finding it really hard yet some people hardly need to study and just 'get it' must be amazing to just no you are clever

Took me 8 goes! I don't drive now. Why did I torture myself like that? that's the really stupid part of it all. Four attempts in the UK. I didn't have a car to practice on though. Four fails. Then I relocated back to Ireland and many years later (so I forgot everything I knew) I decided to try and be NORMAL (must be normal) and it took me four attempts. I literally don't know another soul alive who tried so hard to achieve something so mundane. And then not utilise it!

I was good at exams and have helpfully ended up with a job that involves a lot of pitching / thinking on your feet, which is a similar skill set (for me anyways).

I am also pretty good with people socially.

However I am very organisationally challenged. I have found ways to manage it at work, though I am still not good, but my personal admin and finance is chaos.

Also crap at DIY - I don’t care about that, but I would give a lot to be able to organise.

Ah there’s lots of different ways of being clever.

academically clever
practically clever
emotionslly clever etc

rare to have all 3

my late dh was one of the most cleverest people I knew. He was dyslexic, struggled with exams, never got any GCSEs, and yet he had a keen enquiring mind, only had to be shown once and was emotionally very self aware.

he worked as a factory operator all his life since leaving school but it’s what he achieved outside of his job that mattered.

im not academically clever even though I have never used degree. I wish I was but then again does it bring you happiness. Who knows

As pp have said there are lots of ways to be clever. I'm very good at cutting straight to the point of a problem and finding a solution, I'm intelligent, good with numbers and have a lot of common sense. These skills together make me good at my particular job. I'd be a terrible musician, hairdresser, actor, salesperson, carer, teacher, personal trainer or any number of other jobs. Play to your own strengths!

The more intelligent you are, the more you realise how stupid you are / how much you don't know. Thick people tend to suffer from the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

Being clever is usually to do with genes, upbringing and having a stable home with enough of everything - food, support, praise, encouragement, fun, warmth, quiet/calm spaces. People aren't always intelligent enough to appreciate their circumstances and wrongly take all the credit themselves.
I believe that everyone has the potential to be clever at something but often only if the environment is right.

The average human IQ is 100. An IQ of 132 puts you in the top 2% and you qualify for Mensa. An IQ under 70 is classed as intellectual disability.

So Mensa members are living in a world where the average person has 32 less IQ than them. For an average person that’s equivalent to living in a world where almost everyone is intellectually disabled.

Can you imagine it? Nobody to talk to. Nobody understands your level of thought or can relate to you. Most likely you’re excluded and bullied for not fitting in, for “being a swot”. Never mind those poor rare souls with an IQ of 160 -the world must be unbearable for them.

Wait... what?? I'd qualify for Mensa?? How did I not know this?? 😂 I thought the bar was like 160 or something.

Really interesting thread OP and thank you @FrugalOddball for the fascinating insight as to what goes on in your head.

It's difficult to put into words because I've never experienced anything different. Yes, school was easy, exams required less effort. I ended up with two first degrees because I enjoy acquiring information. I use my first degree in my job, my second (maths) was just for "fun!" Day-to-day, I absorb information and process things more quickly than my colleagues but I don't think that translates to exceptional performance, it's just a little bit easier for me. The thing is, though, it's just one facet of my skill set. I'm still terrible at sports, or indeed anything requiring coordination. I'm not very patient. I'm in awe of people who can strike up a conversation with anyone. I have a terrible sense of direction. So, while it's nice to be able to do well academically without much effort, there are other skills that I admire much more, particularly those that are acquired through effort rather than random genetics.

It's great 👍🏼

I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I was naturally very clever throughout school and now one of my DC is, but one has to work very hard at it. I've been thinking of all the people we know and what level of success they've had. The women who have done the best in terms of happiness and finances (nice home, holidays etc) are the prettiest. They seem the happiest, they got the good loyal guy who adores them and looks after them, and inevitably they got the guy who has done well in his career and is financially secure. I almost feel rather than paying for tutoring DD, I should help her with skincare and makeup, health and fitness and pour money into good clothes. Grim thoughts, but that's how I've been feeling about it lately.

I suppose I might be classed as this, did well in exams, got A*s and a first at uni. I found exams in English / history type subjects quite relaxing. I have a good short term memory, could write easily and quickly. I'm good at facts as I listen to lots of podcasts and read a lot.

I am absolutely hopeless at DIY. My heard starts racing if I hear the words ikea flat pack haha.

So we all have our strengths and weaknesses.

But I do love a pub quiz!!

I've never been a clever person at school where I breezed through exams etc. I didn't come from a happy family who invested in me emotionally and cared about my education and was surrounded by uneducated people while growing up. I have a masters degree in my profession and just wanted to have a better quality of life. I have a 2:2 from a degree but mainly because the last marker was from my dissertation and practical work where I couldn't spend the time I wanted to as I was working 3 part time jobs to be able to survive as a student. I was pretty average but didn't work for it or had parents who were on top of it. I wasn't confident either to be able to ask for help with things, maybe coming from a dysfunctional family shaved my confidence. Now though, I think I was clever but didn't have the skills to utilise it especially in school and most likely I have underlying adhd. I am practical though, have common sense and have always been trusted to use my initiative even when my earlier roles didn't require me to because of being at the bottom of the food chain and all that.

I sometimes think if I had the upbringing my ds has now maybe things could have been different. A more confident and happy person. Even at school when I knew the answer I often kept my hand down as I was scared if I got it wrong or humiliated. School was my only place where I had some peace from a home life living with a father who was financially and emotionally abusive to my mother and my mother who was too depressed and lacked patience with her kids and sometimes took it out on us.

You tend to spend a lot of time in your own head which can be both or either rewarding and lonely/maddening. There's a danger of becoming bored or cynical so it's good to keep interested in something and to remind yourself of the good things people do. If you also have a strong sense of humour that can help balance things. You might also be prone to laziness as many things are easy to you, so it's good to try new things especially stuff you're not naturally good at to make sure you keep learning.

I never studied until university and only did a few hours the day before exams but if I had to do exams now I would have to study as my brain feels out of practice. All I can say is what an amazing achievement resitting exams that in itself shows bravery and intellect. You should be proud of yourself regardless the outcome as many in your shoes wouldn't feel capable of even trying

I'm clever but not good at everything. However, even with being clever and naturally better at some things I had to put the work in to get my qualifications.

I find being clever makes me frustrated alot of the time.

I realise that we all have a different measure of what success means but a number of the pretty girls I went to school to school who weren’t academically gifted in the least are living lives of wealth and luxury, mostly thanks to the skills of the men they were able to attract. The cleverest have good jobs but few of the outward and “obvious” indicators of success.

Growing up, my sister was “the pretty one” and I was “the clever one”. Though she’s not one of the girls I was referring to above, she’s had a great career.

it's not all it's cracked up to be, to be honest. I'm pretty clever, I have a PhD. I hated being the clever one at school. Some things I didn't have to work at and they came naturally but I was still really anxious about exams and all the expectations that came with them. Other things I had to work hard at but because I was "clever" I never got any credit for it, just, oh of course you got an A*, with an accompanying eyeroll.

And I struggle a lot with imposter syndrome in my job because I'm surrounded by people who are much cleverer than me.

Good luck with your exams, I'm sure you'll be great! Being able to work hard at something is a blessing too.

it's not all it's cracked up to be, to be honest. I'm pretty clever, I have a PhD. I hated being the clever one at school. Some things I didn't have to work at and they came naturally but I was still really anxious about exams and all the expectations that came with them. Other things I had to work hard at but because I was "clever" I never got any credit for it, just, oh of course you got an A*, with an accompanying eyeroll.

And I struggle a lot with imposter syndrome in my job because I'm surrounded by people who are much cleverer than me.

Good luck with your exams, I'm sure you'll be great! Being able to work hard at something is a blessing too.

I'm a fact gatherer. I am brilliant at quizzes.

My curiosity and interest have to be piqued though. I get bored at work, so people who aren't as clever are higher in the company. I periodically get interested in something happening and people comment about how insightful and clever I am but then ultimately I get bored and it all disappears.

In a weird way I'd be fabulous at a 'higher' job but I just can't get there because I'd need to prove myself first, which I just can't do. I'm not saying it's beneath me in any way, I realise that's how it comes across. I'm really in awe of all the people around me how can do it, they're much better employees than me.

I'm quite clever. However, I think I have undiagnosed ADD and had a fairly difficult home life growing up. I didn't do particularly well in my Alevels but went to uni and got a 2:1 in a fairly mediocre degree. I didn't really do anything for a while after as I lost a lot of my confidence and struggled with life.

It's not until the last 10 years where I have developed some awareness. I went back to uni to do a Masters thinking I would struggle but actually I loved it and finished top of the year with a distinction, award for academic achievement and had my research published. I've just done another degree as part of training and got a First. I can read quickly and synthesise information well. I'm better with words than numbers but I like the challenge and would like to do something mathematical next if I can. I'm 45 but I'm only just starting out in an actual career. I still struggle to focus sometimes - I have hyper focus if I'm interested but lose interest fairly quickly if I'm not. However, as I'm aware of this now I can develop strategies and achieve goals whereas previously I wouldn't have. I feel like I could do most things if I put mind to it and with that comes a sense of confidence that I've never had before.

"I have hyper focus if I'm interested but lose interest fairly quickly if I'm not"
I have that, everyone has it surely? I didn't know it had a special term apart from just someone's interests/ things they have no interest in.

Its interesting that a couple of people have mentioned looks and being pretty as a route to success for some women. I don't really get why clever people can't have that route though, I mean it's quite clever to notice how well attractive people are treated and mimic that by dressing well etc- I don't understand why it would be either/or looks or cleverness. I teach at a good uni, with 'clever' girls in it and most of them are stunning! This is more to do with background and wealth, though, as someone said, if you have an environment which facilitates both academic success and eating well/exercise and looking a certain way, then you can indeed hit the jackpot in that sense. Often very clever people could look more attractive but chose not to bother with those things or are deliberately cultivating a certain look- the women at my work would look as nice as everyone else if they spent time on make-up and clothes, but they don't as they aren't interested in it, particularly or it isn't an important part of their identity.

The only time cleverness has been an issue for me is choosing a partner, I did date some terribly handsome/wealthy men that weren't the brightest and I realised I couldn't spend a lifetime of being bored for any money. I actively chose not to marry a City type even though I met a lot, because it's not where my own interests like, I really would rather have a medium amount of money and an interesting partner with a more unusual take on the world than a rich man. I haven't liked many of the truly rich men I've met, if I'm honest.

Hyperfocus is intense - it means you'll focus on one thing, and one thing only, for an extended period - in that time you might not eat properly, you might neglect self-care, you might neglect your loved ones, because anything but The Thing is an irritating distraction from The Thing. You might not sleep because you can't stop thinking about or doing The Thing.

My longest period of hyperfocus was seven weeks - that was more than 10 years ago and I look back on it as one of the happiest times of my life, I floated in a bubble of exhilaration where absolutely nothing else mattered. Boredom no longer existed because 'empty' periods were an opportunity to think about or do The Thing (a creative project on this occasion).

The downside is the comedown when it stops. I remember sitting on my bed crying hysterically after that wonderful time, because it had gone and I knew it might not come back for a long time.