Help me book my smear test!

[Butterbeans5]

I feel silly posting this. I have health anxiety and I’m due a smear. I got a letter a few months ago and keep telling myself I need to book it, but keep finding excuses not to.

I had some gynae examinations a year ago because I was experiencing bleeding after intercourse, as well as changes to my periods. The examinations involved an internal ultrasound. Everything came back clear thankfully.

For some reason though, I’m experiencing a flare up of my anxiety and I’m just feeling so afraid to book this, but equally, getting worried that I haven’t had it done on time. I know delaying it isn’t doing me any favours.

It also isn’t helped by the fact I have had some horrendous experiences when having smears done in the past. On one occasion, the nurse literally gave up, because I got too tense. Others have been extremely painful, prolonged and resulted in bleeding afterwards. I’ve done all the breathing techniques and everything in my power to relax. Despite feeling as though I am actually quite relaxed, there still seems to be problems inserting the speculum.

I think the whole scenario is just stressing me out and I wondered if I could please have a hand hold to book this, and actually have the procedure done and wait for the results.

I feel ridiculous to reach out for help with this, when it’s something that every woman goes through, but I’m just getting myself into such a flap over it. 😥

Step 1 is just book it. You can always rearrange closer to the time if you need to.

For the actual appointment, make sure you make them aware of previous problems and tell them what would help you. You might even be able to tell them at booking in case there is anything they suggest you do ahead of time.

You know it is important to do but I know it isn't always easy for everyone.

I don't mean to be blunt but maybe tough love might be what you need!

Since my friend was diagnosed with cervical cancer and had to have a hysterectomy at 28 it hasn't even been a question for me to keep up to date with my smears.

Nobody likes having them and they are uncomfortable but the alternative of anything being wrong and finding out too late is so much worse.

See if your GP will prescribe you diazepam for the day itself - they did for me when I had to have an MRI and was anxious about it and I know people who have been prescribed it as they are nervous fliers. It'll relax you enough hopefully to be able to go through it and I'm sure most likely all will be well with your results but wouldn't you rather know for sure?!

Thank you for the replies. I know I’m being completely daft. My anxiety is just really in overdrive atm. Life is good so my brain is trying to convince myself something terrible is going to happen. 😔 I’ve managed a year off sertraline and I want to continue that way as I’d like to try for a baby. But this smear test is really triggering me a lot.

I Will definitely contact the GP and see if they can give me diazepam for the day. That would really help.

Agree with asking your GP for diazepam.

Or I could tell you about some of the horrors I went through with cervical cancer because I kept putting off my smear.
Please get it done op, I know it's hard when you're worried but it's a few minutes that could save your life.

No help on the smear but I am on sertraline, have been for several years. My DD has just turned one so I was on it all the way through pregnancy- actually would have really struggled to get through the pregnancy without it. I spoke to my GP before conceiving and apparently sertraline is considered to be one of the safest anti anxiety meds when it comes to pregnancy. I believe the only issue was baby having to have a extra check (can't remember what of maybe heart rate) after birth and I believe it had to be by a paediatrician but I might be wrong about that.
Basically if you need the meds to manage your anxiety then don't let wanting to conceive stop you going on them.

OP, I have been in the exact same position as you recently (including some tough gynae examinations a year or so ago which felt completely traumatising!) I’ve never posted before but just wanted to say you’re not alone. I also suffer from health anxiety.

My advice is to do it in baby steps - book it in and then block it out of your mind as much as possible (I found the waiting and dwelling on it the worst part overall). Ask for the earliest appointment so you don’t have to wait all day and you can get it over and done with. It might be worth also letting them know you have had difficulty in the past so they can book you a double appt so you don’t feel rushed.

Those who find smears a piece of cake can be really harsh in my experience - ‘just do it’ but you’re not alone in finding them uncomfortable and painful and really scary.

On the day, speak to the nurse beforehand and tell her how you feel (if you’re like me you feel a bit stupid but it does help, the nurse I had said she has done hundreds of smears and loads of women find them difficult and they aren’t always easy, this made me feel a bit better). Ask the nurse to try the smallest speculum first and talk you through each step so you’re not caught off guard. I also put my hands into fists under my bum to slightly elevate myself (not the most glamorous of positions!) but it seemed to help a little. She told me that I have a really high cervix (that likes to hide, great 🫣) and also a tilted uterus, which is probably why it’s been so difficult in the past.

I’m not going to lie to you and say it didn’t hurt (it did!) but it wasn’t as bad as I’d built it up in my head to be. she took a few attempts and we got there in the end (mostly because I was just desperate not to have to come back again, although this has happened to me before as well like you where we ‘gave up’, so no shame in that either). I think we put so much pressure on ourselves don’t we? And I’ve felt like an idiot before for getting worked up about something that others seem to find easy. Maybe try and go forward with it without putting too much pressure on yourself? E.g. mindset of ‘if it works it works and if not I’ll try again another day’. Deep breathes and closing my eyes helped as well.

good luck OP - you have got this.

Can you just do the at home test instead- easy to purchase via Superdrug. No stress, so simple, quick and convenient.

This is going to sound batshit but it's a technique I've occasionally used for doing things I really don't want to do but know I need to: can you mentally pretend you're someone else?

What I mean is, I find it much easier doing someone else's difficult things than my own difficult things. If you call up and make an appointment for someone who happens to also be called Ms Beans and happens to share your birthday, who's nothing to do with you except that you're pretending to be her for the purposes of the call, it gets the appointment made, and then it's a matter of keeping the momentum going on the train-tracks you've laid down for yourself.

Yep I just buy a home one and do it myself too. They only look at the cells bit if you're positive for HPV. The HPV bit is an easy swab.

I would do the at home test but we don’t live in the UK and I’ve tried Googling but can’t find anything in this area for that service.

@JarByTheDoor I can actually see the sense in pretending it’s not for me. Might help me to go through the motions. Thanks.

Have you booked OP? What are your thoughts surrounding it now?