A very rushed post and I've changed some details. But my SIL has a son from a previous relationship and Nephew (2y/o) with my brother. My older Nephew is under 11, he is verbally and physically violent towards them both but not towards his little brother, although in a rage he will smash up anyone's property. He has outbursts fairly frequently I believe they can be over anything. Going to school is a big one, he refuses to go a lot.
Not helped because from what I've been told his Dad is not the best role model. Let's him game until all hours, eats when and what he wants, doesn't have to go to school or even wash/brush his teeth when he's there. When he comes home his behaviour is awful.
They are both at their wits end. They have been told CHAMS? is needed but it's a long wait. SIL got advise from social services a little while ago, but there wasn't much they could suggest and couldn't offer and practical help.
What else's can I suggest for them? I'm not overly close to my older nephew or in a position to offer to have him stay at mine either, but I feel a bit helpless.