I'm boring and lacklustre

[Housenoob]

I just find I don't have any enthusiasm for anything. I also have a very boring personality. I'm likeable enough to have conversations with but no one seems to want to actually get close to me.

I made mum friends (acquaintances) when on mat leave in 2021, but now they've all made their own closer twos/threes. My work team have a few that seem to have got close really quick and I was gutted to discover recently that a 3 of them are now going on holiday together and didn't invite me. I don't think I was left out, I just wasn't even considered iyswim. I don't even know how they got so close.

I feel I work so hard to be likeable, amiable whatever, that I come across bland. But I just hate small talk or giggling about inane shit. But then I don't know what else to talk about either. I still have my old uni mates who know me well, but otherwise I'm really struggling. I also don't feel I have any interests or hobbies, or anything I do like I cba doing because everything involves so much effort. I'm always fucking tired. My little one sleeps through so I can't even blame major sleep deprivation. I do have iron deficiency for which I take prescribed iron tablets for.

But I'm fucking sick of it. Sick of just existing like this. I can't even take advice to forget what people think and be myself or whatever, because I don't feel like I have a 'myself' to be. Not sure why I'm posting. Just needed to rant.

Hey, OP! You sound a very similar personality to me - I too don’t connect with people on a deeper level. However that doesn’t bother me at all, and I think I am the bee’s knees! 🤭

Do you actually want deeper connections with people? Because I don’t. I would cringe out of existence if I have to talk in depth about myself.

I have superficial acquaintances for different areas of interest - to talk about careers, or hobbies, or mummy talk over coffee.

You might be too far down a rabbit-hole at the moment, so may be worth thinking a bit more about what you really want, and stop caring about what people think.

Plus I can be your acquaintance for up to 5 messages per day 🤗

@7Worfs I really do need to care less about what people think! And there are days when I think a lot more like you, those are probably the days when I'm feeling more secure in myself.

I think at the moment I feel so down because the same thing happens to me time and time again, that I always end up being the person on the outskirts of the group.

I know the feeling of being on the outskirts! Dreadful work Christmas parties come to mind.

After some soul-searching I came to the conclusion that people are just boring and I’m not that interested in them to even attempt a deep connection.

I prefer my own thoughts and hobbies, and the occasional superficial chat meets my social needs.