How to spend the next 44 years!!

[Greenstar9]

I'm 44 and I dont know is it my hormones but I keep looking back and wishing I was a teenager again. I wish I had made different choices, had a career, travelled more, I don't know I just feel like I haven't done much.
I have 2 dc, a teen and 8 year old. I don't work because ds is sen and for various logistical reasons it's far easier for me to be at home.
How can I make the next 44 years (if I live that long!) a time that I don't have regrets about?
For example I have a dog, I didn't have a pet as a child and was reluctant to get one but I've actually found it life changing, really rewarding and just a nice experience.
I've thought about training for a career but I don't have much money for courses and I live quite rurally.
I don't really know what I'm looking for I'm just feeling stuck at the moment.

Some practical things- open learn from the OU have loads of free courses / taster stuff. Which might help you investigate a career and options.
doit.org have lots of volunteering stuff, many just a couple of hours a week that you might be able to fit around children? Some volunteering is online, charities and schools always looking for trustees and parent governors?

Volunteering is actually a good idea. I haven't worked for 9 years, would that help my cv do you think, I hope to go back into employment in the next few years.

Would definitely help your cv - and also help confidence / rediscovery of the skills you undoubtedly have juggling all you must do

Welcome to the middle ages OP. I think everyone with a modicum of self awareness goes through that "how did I get to this age and in this situation" phase. You have a lot of regrets and wish you'd made different decisions and then you get over it and don't care so much. I think that's what the aging process teaches you, to live with these regrets.

I certainly hit "an age" where I thought "well, I've fucked that up then" and realised that I was short on time to do much else with my life and that in all likelihood I wasn't going to the Moon after all. It takes a bit of coming to terms with, but you can come out the other end a lot calmer and happier.

You can look at free online learning from places like Future Learn to give you ideas as to what you might like or as a PP has said, the OU (but that costs a bit).

But don't forget to actually think about what is good in your life and don't be looking to the future. Invest in now. Get your future self fitter and get your future self trained up and that happens today. Enjoy now, because its the only time you've got.

I'm going to shut up now as I'm sounding like a self help book...

The things that have helped me feel like my life is meaningful when I felt blah have been volunteering, exercise, and adult learning courses (eg painting)

Well I'm glad it's not just me!
I'll definitely look into volunteering I saw something about a food bank looking for help so I'll contact them.
I looked at courses before and didn't really see anything but maybe I was looking for a high flying career and maybe I just need to look at what I am interested in.
An adult learning course sounds good, maybe just to achieve a few new skills would help. I know I'm likely to find the cure for cancer at this stage but a few new skills might boost my confidence although I really really can't draw 😅

Op, you can do a lot of Adult Learning course via places like Lincoln University. I just did one on Child Development and before that one on Team Leading and I'm currently considering one on Counselling. They are all free and are the equivalent of a GCSE. They take about 3 months.

Have a look at volunteering and do a course in something you’d never imagined yourself doing.
sewing, pottery, local history etc. something that you would enjoy.

I can't work because i have a severely autistic learning disabled son who often misses school at short notice.
I volunteer in a food bank just for the conversation and to help others.
It's very rewarding