Highly sensitive people / sensory processing sensitivity

[Chimneypotblues]

Has anyone heard of "highly sensitive people/children " or "sensory processing sensitivity"? (Not sensory processing disorder, just sensitivity).

My DD has always been emotionally oversensitive, even as a little baby. Her behaviour can be a bit on the extreme side, she'll have big emotional meltdowns, and I have to be very careful in how I tell her off - she seems to feel everything incredibly deeply. Her development is otherwise normal, no problems socially or academically (other than being hugely self-critical and a perfectionist).

I came across these terms yesterday and from what I've read online, they describe/explain her behaviour really well.

Some of the websites I looked at claim ~15-20% of people may have these traits, but I'd never even heard of it before.

I was wondering if anyone else has heard of this, or has experience of it?

@Jellycats4life my daughter is the one that the Autism Outreach teachers couldn't spot when they went to observe her in school and needed the teacher to identify her despite being diagnosed aged two. She meets none of the stereotypes (I have a son who meets a lot so well aware though) but she is most definitely autistic but well versed and experienced in fitting in and fading out.

This is a really interesting thread. Thank you. It fits my daughter (8) perfectly. She is highly sensitive, and prone to meltdowns over things we'd think are insignificant. Any hint of being told not to do something (no matter how gently worded), or a firm tone of voice (not shouting), she gets upset and withdrawn and needs a hug to reset.
She also has a lot of sensory issues. Her brother is autistic but has more obvious traits (like avoids eye contact).

So highly sensitive people apparently make up roughly 20% of the world population so that's roughly 1 in 5 people. Autism is what like more than 1 in 100 people if diagnosed? So either they are separate or that they are linked which would make again 1 in 5 people on the autism spectrum.

It's not that I'm afraid of autism, it's that I can't see anything in any of her other behaviour that would fit with anything I've read about it.

She's just very emotionally aware and really feels her emotions deeply. As a baby, if she'd got upset because milk hadn't arrived quickly enough she'd be sobbing through the whole feed. If she was lifted slightly too high in play/ swing went up too far for her she'd freeze and start shaking (fine once back down!). She'd be inconsolable if someone other than mummy told her not to put something in her mouth as a toddler. She had a wobble at school recently simply because she wrote her answer in the wrong place. Not a tantrum, but crying and needing consolation.

She's got several good friendships at school and is doing very well really. She's very lively when she's with them. This is why I was interested that the description of highly sensitive seemed to fit!

I am also a HSP.
For a long time I did not know why I had to be on my own a lot. e.g. if I went to to dinner with friends, I then wanted to be on my own rather than go out dancing the same night.
I don't like noise, crowds, strong smells, overwhelm.
I need to have breaks between work meetings, fresh air.

I need to live in a quiet area, no neighbours upstairs. No busy roads.

I see what you mean, it's a question of is it that 'autistic people can also be highly sensitive but not all highly sensitive people are autistic', versus 'highly sensitive people are autistic'.

ASD and autism itself is very much a spectrum - symptoms and foibles are very unique to the individual, and don't necessary conform to the 'norms' assigned to autism.

I can resonate very strongly with the behaviours in your first post - I also have other ASD traits too.
I think this sounds like an ASD.

Yes, the traits are found in lots of people, not just those with neurodiversity.

Of course some people are more sensitive than others, and everyone has different tolerance to sensory stimulus. DH would happily sit with the tv blaring and the big light on, I have to have the volume on very low and soft lighting. People are just different.

'Yes, the traits are found in lots of people, not just those with neurodiversity'

This is something that's always missed on here. A parent posts something like 'my 5 year old son can't sit still for story time' and ten posters might reply saying that's normal for a 5 year old. Then you'll get posters saying I think your son has ASD because mine has ASD and he can't sit still either. And yes the son may have ASD but there are behaviours that are common to all children whether they're NT or ND, so I don't know how helpful those kinds of threads are.

My 13yr old is super sociable and friendly
Really struggled with transitions eg your 'change game' type examples, saying goodbye, leaving the house to go to school

Obsessive about certain girl activities eg drawing cats ponies (all more excessive than others her age)

Sensitive about sand, socks, hairdryers

Second guesses what others are thinking 'magical thinkinf' leading to meltdowns

Hit the wall age 12 when periods started and is ADHD highly likely also autistic. Is on track for A type marks and most people wouldn't guess unless spend a few days with us

It's highly likely female autism from other girl autistics we know. They are totally different to boy type (if high ability as sounds like your DD is). Google it.

When my son was disgnosed with ASD i was sent on a course ran by the hospital OT team. It was so useful.

It talked about how everyone has sensory preferences and things the avoid or find unpleasant. And everyone uses senses to motivate ourselves or to calm down too. Like how many people feel stressed so go gor a walk and hold a hot coffee? so the movement and flavour and heat are how they self smooth.

There was lots in the course about disordered senses in asd and maladaptive behaviours resulting from preferences and dislikes too and also lots about the senses people dont ofgen think about. I thinknit was vestibular, proprioception and interoception.

Anyway i came away thinking its not disorderd to find busy noise bright places a bit much as long as it doesnt stop you doing things you need or want to do and you have some way of calming down again after.

@FinanceMum I have googled it, and it simply does not ring true for my DD, whereas the high sensitivity with regards to emotions did.
She doesn't seem to have physical sensory problems like your sand, socks, hairdryers things. She has a variety of interests, none of which she's obsessive with, I've never known her to engage in magical thinking either.

I've always said that she seems to feel things much more deeply than you'd expect, I just found it interesting that other people may experience the same and that it might be fairly common!

It's interesting, I think people have actually become less sensitive- possibly because of over stimulation- or at least perhaps some have which has reduced their tolerance for other people's needs.

The constant blare of music, conversation, movement... people having tv and radio on in the background and then talking over the top of it... lots of perfumes and aftershaves... DC watching violent or explicit or scary films when they are still young...

I was sensitive and have lifelong fears from reading books/watching shows I was too young for.

I was more protective of my DC, and I don't think it's a bad thing. Some parents are a bit blasé about their child's tolerance for nastiness on TV or games. I don't see that tolerance as a good thing.

Sounds like me! I’m recently diagnosed as ADHD and also being assessed for autism. I experienced all these things as a child and still do as an adult. I’m glad I know what it is now. There is a lot of stigma about diagnosis, but it is helpful to the person living with differences. I wish as a 50 year old woman, that someone would have noticed my sensory issues and struggles with social interaction. I masked all the time which was exhausting. On the outside I appeared academically gifted and had friends. I was extremely creative and sensitive (still am). I’m a teacher and currently doing an MA. Autism and ADHD can be overwhelming at times. Girls get missed as they can camouflage themselves better than boys.