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Original poster

If this happened in your workplace...

43 replies

WhoWants2Know · 30/03/2023 09:19

I think my sense of professionalism and appropriate office etiquette has been skewed by working in some very diverse environments, so I just want to get a reality check.

I work in an open plan office that ranges from half full to overflowing with staff depending on the day of the week. One member of staff has expressed (since they started) an issue with noise and being unable to concentrate when people are noisy. (However, the same colleague is apparently unaware when they are loud on the phone or in conversation)

Yesterday, it felt like out of the blue, they leaped up shouting at another colleague "I've told you over and over again to be quiet" and carried on ranting. Manager came between them and remonstrated and colleague continued arguing with the manager before storming out of the office.

The other colleague was in tears most of the day.

I don't think either colleague can change the way they hear or speak. If something like this happened in your place of work, what would happen?

OP posts:
Original poster
WhoWants2Know · 07/04/2023 13:49

Well, we're about to add several new new hires to the team, and will likely lose our "permanent" desk spaces in favour of hot desking. It's going to be much more difficult to keep the volume down when we have to explain everything to the new people. It's going to be something to see.

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MyriadOfTravels · 07/04/2023 13:56

suzyscat · 07/04/2023 13:33

Oh gosh I was this person. I found open plan offices nearly impossible to cope with yet can't control the volume/ pace of my own voice.

Mumsnet cliche I know but turns out I was ND all along. Defo worth your colleague looking into ASD/ADHD etc.

If the colleague is ND, it would give an explanation. It wouldn’t solve the issue though.
If noise us an issue, I feel it’s up them to wear a noise cancelling headset.

And they certainly cannot blow up because one ourson is too noisy and then be grumpy because someone else is too quiet….

MyriadOfTravels · 07/04/2023 13:58

@WhoWants2Know im nit sure that your colleague has an issue with not enough talking
But rather they realised you were quieter than usual and assumed you were giving them the silent treatment. So they checked.

That would make me even more uneasy to be honest.

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custardbear · 07/04/2023 14:32

Aintnosupermum · 30/03/2023 15:13

I would have them on a PIP because I would be managing them out. I do not tolerate shouting or losing tempers like this.

Yes, with a bit BUT in case they're ND in which case this can happen and needs dealing with In Other ways

LlynTegid · 07/04/2023 14:51

I think it should be an HR matter, whether informal or formal. Though the response one person has noted whereby the person claims to be the victim would not surprise me.

Zanatdy · 07/04/2023 15:32

I’d be taking the staff member who flipped outside for a conversation and expecting them to apologise

Original poster
WhoWants2Know · 07/04/2023 15:33

The person in question does not identify as having ASD or ADHD. They have disclosed a medical condition which affects their mental wellbeing. They were also dealing with a stressful event in their personal life at the time of the outburst.

However. The nature of the role is such that you can expect nearly everyone in the office will have past or current mental health related diagnoses. What management say about that is much the same as it would be for physical health, ie if you are not well enough to do the job for whatever reason, you call in sick. If you do come in, you're expected to be "fully functional".

I don't feel that I was giving anyone the silent treatment. I answered questions that were asked, but I have long since stopped doing the "How was your weekend, did you watch Happy Valley?" type chats after the previous shouting episode. (Which the manager didn't see)

On reflection, this dynamic with the person shouting about noise has been going on for quite a while. In maybe October, I had said in supervision that I don't know when I'm "allowed" to speak in the office since this person started.

I was quiet because I was weighing up whether I really want to continue working in that environment or whether to apply for a home-based role in the same organisation.

OP posts:
Aintnosupermum · 07/04/2023 16:20

I have two children with ASD and ADD. I do not tolerate poor behavior from them. Just because you are different doesn’t mean you don’t have to follow societal norms. Yes it’s harder, so if this is a known issue I’d have them on a pip and heavily incorporate help for them with this specific area.

CossyBunt · 07/04/2023 16:31

Sounds like the shouter is a controller and is being abusive. They have got you thinking twice about speaking in your own office! Trying to destabilise you all, get you all walking on eggshells. They need to be dealt with by HR asap. Do you think they singled out the poor person on the receiving end due to a protected characteristic?

Ponderingwindow · 07/04/2023 16:33

Do people speak unnecessarily in open plan offices? Even just the essential noise is so disruptive. I can’t imagine adding chit-chat.

your colleague should not have screamed. I still have a great deal of sympathy for them working in such a stressful environment everyday. That is down to your employer not providing a proper workspace.

EmpressaurusOfCats · 07/04/2023 16:38

Can this person realistically be moved to WFH, either full time or on the days when the office is quietest?

Original poster
WhoWants2Know · 07/04/2023 17:08

Officially, because we have an office base our team has to be physically in the building almost all of the time. But most of the other teams within the organisation are home based. I actually live in an area that is home-based but I commute in to work with this team for the opportunity to see clients face-to face.

It's not a massive number of people in the office, because most people are part time and only in a couple of days a week. In addition to the office where we all sit, there is an empty office next door with desks and monitors and hookups. There are also individual side offices with desks and monitors available for quiet working. And there are meeting rooms dotted around as well. 🤷‍♀️

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EmpressaurusOfCats · 07/04/2023 17:14

It really sounds like your colleague should be able to work in peace if they genuinely want to then… but I can see that it’s not that simple.

SunUp · 07/04/2023 17:22

My manager would have sacked her on the spot.

drpet49 · 07/04/2023 17:28

CossyBunt · 07/04/2023 16:31

Sounds like the shouter is a controller and is being abusive. They have got you thinking twice about speaking in your own office! Trying to destabilise you all, get you all walking on eggshells. They need to be dealt with by HR asap. Do you think they singled out the poor person on the receiving end due to a protected characteristic?

My thoughts exactly.

drpet49 · 07/04/2023 17:28

If this happened at my workplace the person who shouted would be suspended possibly sacked eventually.

guffaux · 07/04/2023 17:52

In my workplace,the outburst would be ignored by everyone, then talked about for days/weeks/months!! depending on how dramatic it had been,but never talked about with the person,if the colleague had argued back the entire office would stop and watch, then talk about it for months/years,the manager would studiously ignore it and if asked about it by anyone would say they hadnt heard/noticed... and THAT would be talked and laughed about for years.... (this is from experience!) - we are a public body,all allegedly educated/professional and, ahem, assertive lol
in reality we are all extremely childish and competetive....I wonder how we function, but get consistently high results and good performance appraisals!

Original poster
WhoWants2Know · 07/04/2023 18:04

guffaux · 07/04/2023 17:52

In my workplace,the outburst would be ignored by everyone, then talked about for days/weeks/months!! depending on how dramatic it had been,but never talked about with the person,if the colleague had argued back the entire office would stop and watch, then talk about it for months/years,the manager would studiously ignore it and if asked about it by anyone would say they hadnt heard/noticed... and THAT would be talked and laughed about for years.... (this is from experience!) - we are a public body,all allegedly educated/professional and, ahem, assertive lol
in reality we are all extremely childish and competetive....I wonder how we function, but get consistently high results and good performance appraisals!

🤣🤣🤣 Maybe this is what I should have prepared myself for!

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