How to stop chasing career goals and be happy

[Freespiritwannabe]

I was raised by academics who believed career / professional job equals self worth.

This has left me with low esteem when made redundant and caused an anxiety disorder by always being stressed to achieve. Its a pain in the ass and I want to change. Just today, I needed anxiety meds while discussing promotions/job future...

I live coastal and always see people out walking with their wellies, dogs, beautiful skin and huge smiles. Their clothes are neutral and relaxed.

My bestfriend is one of these free spirit types - she doesn't care what her job is as long as she pays the bills. No desire to be "top dog"...

I'd LOVE to be like this. How do I take the pressure off and undo 34 years of "success stress"?

Work out how much you need to earn?

Aim for that plus a tiny bit more.

Perhaps take to your best friend about this.

Take it from there?

Remember that once you get past a certain level, you lose around half your earnings to tax/NI/student loan repayments and there's often an expectation that you work more hours, so you have less time and not much more money.

Make sure you have hobbies that you enjoy and spend time doing those. Work to live, not live to work.

They also say 'find a job you enjoy and it won't feel like work'.

Are you working again now? If people ask your aspirations, tell them that it is to work fewer hours. I've just had a promotion which is in reality finally having what I do recognised in terms of pay/grade so my aspiration now is to drop a few hours a week - due to the nature of my job and leave allowances I should be able to work it so I can be on 90% pay and only ever have to work 4 days a week. I'm hoping to be able to achieve this in the next year or two.

find a job you enjoy and it won't feel like work' I've never felt like this before about any job!

I have tried talking to my friend about this but I'm so tense about the entire thing. Talking about anything work related makes me panic - I'm clearly reaching burnout. 😳