Talk to me about Home-Start please

[geraniumsrojo]

I've got a lady from Home-Start coming round to talk to me. But I struggle with conversations and it would be easier to know all about it before we start chatting.

What specifically do the volunteers do. What rules do they have to follow. How long do they work with a family for. What are acceptable uses of the volunteer's time. How many kids are they allowed to be responsible for at a time.

My basic issue is that I have 4 kids under 5 (realised I was 15w pregnant with twins, who are now lovely 6 month olds). So I'm not quite sure what help they could/would provide. I feel a bit of an imposter, like the service is probably more for people facing bigger challenges.

The website talks about taking children out to the park without parents. But presumably they couldn't manage 4 kids at once. But how about 2. Or 3?

My mum was a homestart volunteer, her work really varied family to family. some parents would just need extra hands to hold the baby whilst they cooked or had a bath or a nap, other mums wanted another adult to talk to. It will depend on the volunteer what they can handle. My mum for example has worked with children her entire life and I have 5 children so she's more than capable of taking 4 to the park, others may not be as confident.
Also it's important you gel with the volunteer so if you don't feel like it's a good match then don't be worried about changing. Just be honest about what your needs are xx

That's really interesting. Thank you. Hopefully they have a super volunteer who isn't daunted by a crowd 😅

Bump for the evening crowd. Does anyone else have any experience to share please?

My lovely volunteer was very flexible. Took the baby for a walk or babysat while I napped or went to the chemist etc (I had two sick children). But we'd also potter in the garden tidying a little, or share some soup I'd made which really helped my mental health at the time.

I volunteered for two families, one cooked while I played with the children and the other mum slept while I was downstairs with the children.
I think the rules of my one was parent couldn't leave the house with me in it.

I personally found them useless. The volunteer literally sat on my sofa looking awkward and didn't speak to me until I spoke to them. As an exhausted new mum I didn't have the head space to "entertain" so I said thanks but no thanks. I don't understand why everyone raves about them, but maybe that says more about the project in my area.

I was told categorically by the woman who came round initially that I wasn't allowed to sleep while the volunteer was in my home! I'm surprised at some of these responses.

@Cryingovernothing
Totally agree, that was my experience too.

I had lovely lady for few weeks before covid then on zoom so obviously then we just had weekly chat which was amazingly helpful given the circumstances, before covid she made it clear she couldn't go out with children on her own or look after children on her own in house. I had disabled child and newborn. She said she would help clean or play with my girls anything i wanted , then covid happened and we had zoom chats that I really looked forward to.

I had one, they were also useless, I asked for a different one (very diplomatically) and apparently they didn’t have any one else available 🤷‍♀️
they did do some ok organised group things though

I think it very much depends on ur area. My lady was so helpful to me as zoom calls cause of covid just the emotional support as unable to do physical really helped me due to my circumstances , think lasted about 8 months.

I didn't even realise that this service existed. I had 3 under 5 and just had to get on with it. My decision to have these babies therefore my responsibility to look after them .

I've had a couple of volunteers- they helped play with the children whilst I did jobs or cooked, came to playgroup with me, we went shopping together or took the kids to a cafe for cake - With 3 babies they really helped me feel like and do what I call "the normal mummy things"
They do 2 hrs a week and it's not a lot but it's a help

It's not always about having multiple children under a certain age, it can be for all different families , some struggling with PND, families with disabled children, young mums. U don't know what other mums go through ur post sounds incredibly judgey and would never want mothers struggling for whatever reason to feel they don't deserve the help offered.

I know they can be brilliant, but entirely depends on your area.

I desperately needed someone just to watch DTwins for an hour, so I could bathe and wash my hair. I ended up with someone who came round, banged on about herself and this fancy life she claimed to have left in Dubai. All utter bull, and very strange.

I made her 3 cups of tea, and essentially entertained her. I did not have the time or energy to entertain someone for 2 hours, and was actually quite upset about it, as a one hour break was almost impossible for me, and I had been so looking forward to this. I wouldn't say I complained to homestart, but I was in tears by the end of my call back to them, and explained that she hadn't offered any help, just talked about herself, and had caused me more work than if she hadn't come. They apologised, and said there was no one else available.

I know others who have found them brilliant. Oh, and I also had the rule where I wasn't allowed to leave the house.

Mine was great. She used to be a health visitor and run a playgroup.

We got a little routine going where she would arrive, make me a cup of tea and play with the kids in another room, then do some chores (not proper cleaning, but stuff like hanging out the washing or clearing up after breakfast), and then for the last hour she would take them out in the double buggy (baby would nap, and so would I, alone in my house!).

Ask what their guidelines are because I know in some areas they can’t take the kids alone etc.

Be as assertive as you can about what you need (easier said than done, I know). But they really are volunteering because they want to help, and they can only help if they know how.

Also like to add , this isn't just for everyone. U get referred by health visitor, childrens center or doctors. It's a process. I had my volunteer as I had a 2 year who had just been diagnosed disabled and a newborn and I was really struggling mentally with my situation and my family were unsupportive. I really am grateful for my volunteer. And the service as a whole. They also organised weekly play groups (during covid it was zoom calls ) its really important that there is no shame in reaching out for help.

Bully for you. Utterly unhelpful.