Do you worry about giving men the wrong idea?

[EatingWormsMichael]

I'm a terrible overthinker, and also shy, and have always been nervous around men. I have no idea why.

As a result i find it hard to form friendships with men. For example with male colleagues I am probably more formal than with women. I might start joking with them but then get uncomfortable if it goes too far.

My dd is friends with a girl who is with her dad every other weekend. He suggested we all meet up. I know it's ludicrous but I worry that I'll give the wrong impression. Or what if I start to actual fancy him and act like an idiot?

Basically I am always aware that we are male and female and that creates a barrier. I feel like it's pathetic, like some teenager, what the eff is wrong with me and how do I stop??

Oh yes this is me all over

I'm way too friendly ( natural personality) it's always mistaken for flirting. I cannot be myself around men

Yes @mackthepony!

Another example is a man on the school run started saying good morning. Now I dread him walking past, I don't want to instigate saying it in case he thinks I'm his biggest fan. Sometimes he is with his wife so I say it directed at her, so she knows I'm not after him. Ffs, it's unbearable.

This sounds incredibly stressful. Just be pleasant. If the odd person gets the wrong impression (not massively likely, but let’s just say), then so what? The sky won’t fall.

I'm terrible for obsessing over what I've said and done. I watched the Christine McGuinness doc about autistic women and feel like she was describing me, replaying conversations, trying to plan interactions etc. So it's hard to just think "fuck it who cares", I'd love to though!

Are you in relationship atm?
maybe you want to be if not or you are but not entirely happy?
I also think it’s lack of confidence and low self esteem. I also tends to overthink and worry about this and I’m not a confident person at all. DD had a friend with very involved Dad some time ago and I always felt a bit tense about communication with him.
It gets easier with age.

I'm WAY more nervous around women than men. Women are more judgey and observant. Men don't give a shit!

OP, this is ridiculous. You’re not some Magic Sex Goddess that inspires any passing male with thoughts of conquest. It’s perfectly safe to say hello without worrying that School Run Man thinks you’re proposing you get a hotel room together. Men are just people, too.

No I'm single, that's probably part of the issue, I feel like they know I'm single and might assume I'm on the prowl. Similarly part of me is assessing them as partner potential, literally wondering how that would affect dc. It's ludicrous.

If I was in a relationship I feel that would shut down any of those thoughts on both sides.

I know!! But it's like my brain has a mind of its own!!

There are apps that help with obsessive thoughts. Perhaps do a bit of research and download one?

OK, well you’re just projecting, then. You’re potentially regarding everyone male you encounter as a romantic prospect, and are assuming they’re doing similar, even a man walking blamelessly past you with his wife saying ‘hello’.