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Original poster

Did anyone else grow up thinking they hated things just because their parents hated the thing?

100 replies

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 26/03/2023 22:08

Cats, growing up, my parents were VERY vocal about hating cats. So I grew up thinking I hated them too but never really thought about why. Then one day when I was a teenager, DH (then BF) took me to meet his aunt and I also met her cat who was a lovely thing. I sat there and thought about why I hated cats, and I came to zero conclusions. It slowly dawned on me that I didn't hate them after all, I actually really like them! We're hoping to get a cat at some point this year and I can't wait 🙂

Jack Russells, my parents were also pretty vocal about really disliking them too, "Horrible yappy things" and the same with cats. I always thought I didn't like them too until I actually thought about why I didn't and came up with no answer.

Meatloaf (musician, not food)
Queen (band, not the Queen)
Ford cars, both my parents despised them, my dad probably still does but my mum is now on her second Ford and she loves it, me and DH are also on our second Ford and it's definitely our favourite car we've ever had so far!

Anyone else?

OP posts:
AlanDavidson · 27/03/2023 00:00

Any kind of ketchup or pickle; we used to go to McD's when I was a child and wait an age for the entire family's burgers to be prepared "plain" for us. Madness. The gherkin is the best bit!

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 27/03/2023 00:06

Cats here too - last photo on my camera roll from this afternoon.

Did anyone else grow up thinking they hated things just because their parents hated the thing?
clopper · 27/03/2023 00:07

Cats for me too! My dad hates them. I’m still not keen but my friends cats always seem drawn to me.

Frezia · 27/03/2023 00:07

I can't remember anything specific regarding my parents, but DH grew up thinking all fruit is vile because his parents never ate any and they never had any at home.

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 27/03/2023 00:12

Dummies. My Mum said they were common. Why she felt the need to tell me this as a child/teen I will never know! Gave one to DS aged 10 weeks and it settled him like a dream. She’s dead but I could just imagine her reaction!

Equalbutdifferent · 27/03/2023 00:12

Cocktails and sun loungers. Sitting on damp towels with drinks we'd brought along ourselves all the way...

I now realise this was probably an economy measure, but at the time it felt a bit judgey.

Bacon for breakfast when camping. Always cereal in our tent. Probably also to save money.

oldwhyno · 27/03/2023 00:17

The Dutch

AlbertCampion · 27/03/2023 00:28

Sport. My parents were openly scathing about any sporting events, implied that athletes were brainless, and refused to ever speak to my PE teacher at parents evening cos it "wasn't worth it". It's taken me years to grow out of their mindset.

Only exception was cricket, cos that was a "gentleman's game". Bonkers.

whynotwhatknot · 27/03/2023 00:54

its brainwashing really isnt it-they said it so much we believed it was true

QueenBee1234 · 27/03/2023 06:09

People!!! We lived in the sticks and they actively avoided socialising with anyone.
Turns out I am a social butterfly and love an excuse for a night out or get together.

Tietheapron · 27/03/2023 06:19

My dad in particular was always very scathing about the royal family so I grew up a republican and defaulted to that way of thinking.

Got into watching The Crown, started reading around it a bit, started finding it interesting, then fascinating. I didn’t even realise I’d become a convert until someone was talking about Kate Middleton at a family ‘do’ and MIL said ‘oh, show (me), she likes her.’ Blush

I still feel I’m doing something faintly naughty and not strictly allowed if I open a newspaper article about one of them!

Thepossibility · 27/03/2023 06:30

My DH parents convinced him that he's allergic to cats. When he came to my place he found realised he's not. At all.
My awful parents told us only fat slobs eat KFC. McDonald's was fine though Hmm

Buttalapasta · 27/03/2023 06:46

Exercise! My parents were quite scathing about anyone who exercised. They believed in walking to get somewhere and generally being active but not exercise for its own sake.

Lesvacances · 27/03/2023 06:54

The English!
I’m English, my df is English, my dgf was English.
However I am an Irish descendant and as a dc my df would rant about the English. He played Irish folk music, a lot.

As an adult I realised I quite like being English and I also didn’t hate Terry Wogan although dad would complain bitterly about that idiot on the radio!
Who happened to be Irish 😂

LindorDoubleChoc · 27/03/2023 06:54

Gin.
Big earrings.
Brightly coloured clothing.
Spain, Greece, hot weather.
Cutting up raw meat.

ChaToilLeam · 27/03/2023 06:55

My DM hates olives and convinced me that they were horrible things. Didn’t try one until I was an adult. I love them now!

Oh, and sport. She was always scathing about any kind of physical activity. I now like hiking and weightlifting but it took me years to find what I enjoyed.

WonderingWanda · 27/03/2023 07:00

I was never told I disliked things. There have been many things my dm has expressed huge surprise at over the years, almost offended that I might like things she doesn't. "I didn't know you liked cats", "Why do you want to go running, I can't see the point of that", "Well I think that's a waste of time" etc.

MithrilCostsMore · 27/03/2023 07:01

Arsenal. I'm not even into football but every time someone says they support arsenal, I have to give myself a minute to get past my initial knee jerk reaction of "I don't like you". Bloody ridiculous. That's the result of 19 years of constant repetition and brainwashing!

cornflakesandtea · 27/03/2023 07:02

Like everyone else, my mum hated cats. I don't "hate" cats now, but I do dislike them, particularly when they're roaming and shitting in my garden. And I am allergic so don't particularly like them in houses I visit either!

Oh and Eastenders. We watched Coronation Street and Emmerdale when we were younger, but now I don't watch any because they're rubbish.

I've probably done the same thing with my DC with mushrooms. I can't stand the things, horrible little pieces of fungus yuck! However, I also feel the same about fish and they will eat that happily 🤷🏼‍♀️ I don't know where I went wrong!

BendingSpoons · 27/03/2023 07:03

My parents ate a wide range of food but my mum HATES melon. I think I tried it and didn't like it but tried it again as an adult and did.

I commented to DH that none of the children would choose the coconut chocolate and he said he thought they would. Turns out DD6 likes them. I didn't expect her to. No-one ate them in our house growing up.

OverHereTryingToFigureItOut · 27/03/2023 07:04

Sort of. I thought I hated fish. At 21 I went to Norway to stay with relatives and was dismayed to find their diet was very fish heavy. But it turned out I actually loved fish! My parents only liked battered fish shop fish so that was the only way I'd tried it. It was actually the batter I disliked.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 27/03/2023 07:06

It works both ways though, doesn't it?

I suspect lots of us only like things because we were raised doing them so they became part of our "normal".

AlexiaR · 27/03/2023 07:13

But isn’t that just socialisation- good or bad? Our parents are the first people whom we look up to and take social queues from. From them we learn about the world around us. More frequently than not, we take on their opinions, their “truths”, their views etc, even if they are wrong, without ever thinking about it, we just accept these things as “facts”. That’s how a person, for example, comes into religion. They don’t find religion themselves, they just inherit it, and practice it without thinking, taking it into adulthood, because that’s what they grew up with. It was not an informed choice. They just learnt it from their parents, family.

Hardbackwriter · 27/03/2023 07:18

AlexiaR · 27/03/2023 07:13

But isn’t that just socialisation- good or bad? Our parents are the first people whom we look up to and take social queues from. From them we learn about the world around us. More frequently than not, we take on their opinions, their “truths”, their views etc, even if they are wrong, without ever thinking about it, we just accept these things as “facts”. That’s how a person, for example, comes into religion. They don’t find religion themselves, they just inherit it, and practice it without thinking, taking it into adulthood, because that’s what they grew up with. It was not an informed choice. They just learnt it from their parents, family.

I think it's inevitable to some extent, but that some people are much more forceful about their views and much more convinced they're objective fact than others and that has an impact. As I said up thread MiL had a lot of dislikes that she instilled into DH. His dad obviously has likes and dislikes too but doesn't present them as the only right way and DH didn't 'inherit' them in the same way.

Ps. You do get adult converts, of course - I'm one! In my church a lot of the older congregation were indeed raised religious and have gone to church their entire life but that's not nearly so true of the younger members.

ShippingNews · 27/03/2023 07:20

Football . Both my parents hated it, they were snooty and talked about how the players were "all brawn and no brains". I grew up with that ingrained in my mind. It was only when I was in my 40's and married DH, a lifetime fan and also a lifetime referee, that I learned about the finer points of the game and came to appreciate it. I still don't like watching an entire weekend of matches, but I do understand the way people feel about it.