A burnt out introvert in a people-facing job

[CamelliaAndPrunus]

I've always done people-facing jobs - I was a teacher, then retrained as a psychotherapist, which I loved until recently. However, I then became a single parent (4 DC aged 9-18), hit perimenopause during the lockdowns and had a very ill parent for some time. The stress of all that has burnt me out. I no longer have the will to be around people all day, or to be constantly helping others. I do like studying/writing, but I will be funding two kids through uni in the next few years so I'm not sure how I would be able to afford to do a PhD or similar. I'm 47. Does anyone have any bright ideas about how I might spend the next twenty years quietly yet productively? What could I do that would allow me to sit at a desk quietly and think?

Following with interest.

I’m age 45 and done. Also have an ill parent, ill in-laws and I’m peri menopausal.

I work in a client facing role, 1:1, I see up to 10 clients per day. I’m struggling to find anything else that pays what I earn now.

I’m all “peopled out” by each evening and weekend, and would happily see nobody socially other than my DH and DC.

If someone would pay me £70 an hour to sit and read all day that would be perfect .

No bright idea unfortunately but I wanted to say that you are not alone.

I am a complete introvert and need to spend a lot of time alone or I become drained and miserable.

I have worked for charities for quite a while doing comms/marketing roles and then running services for mental health issues. Now back into marketing.

I left my last role working with people with mental health because I was also drained by that environment and no longer wanted to interact with so many people every day.

Frankly I have reached my limit when it comes to office work in general and all these pointless meetings, committees and brainstorming sessions...

I dread the days when I have to use public transport and be in the office and have to deal with people face to face.

So watching with interest, because I would love a quiet, peaceful job where there is no need to communicate so much and instead do something fully from home where the focus is on writing or a similarly quiet activity.

Ok let me throw out some wild notions to (probably) help rule out some options.

How about learning to code? I think they often have 5 minute stand up meetings then often code all day. Wilder: learning a trade? I would love to hire a female tradesperson! You could paint or plumb or whatever with the radio on all day.

It seems I'm not alone in feeling this way. I've always needed alone time, but previously it always recharged me just enough to go back to my busy roles. Not any more.

A trade is an interesting idea... Getting a job done in just a few days and standing back to look at the finished article - that would be a world away from therapy. All whilst listening to podcasts... I'm not particularly strong or robust though. And I've always valued work that felt meaningful, i.e. helpful to others. But I'm re-evaluating what that means now.

Hi OP,

I'm also a teacher turned psychotherapist 👋

How full is your caseload? I've never felt so burned out as I did when just doing therapy so now I do a mixture of two client days and three days teaching MH stuff online.

Would there be any option for you to teach online? I know it's still peopley but def not as intense as being in the classroom and since covid a percentage of even initial training courses are even taught online (used to not be allowed by most membership bodies, I know).

Otherwise places like CPCAB and BACP are usually hiring for desk jobs that would be less people intensive but put your skills to use.

Hmm... Interesting ideas. It would be good to keep using my skills and I don't want to give up client work entirely. But yes, if I could reduce my caseload (currently full) and do something related but silent that would be good, I think.

'Peopled out' is exactly it!

It's interesting that you've combined the two professions. I have thought about that but it doesn't feel quite right.

I feel very much the same.
Lockdown gave me an insight into how much I struggled in my everyday life as an introvert! I no longer had to make excuses for not socialising or going to meetings.
Career wise, I previously worked in healthcare & I now teach, but I am similar in that I've had enough of people. The menopause has brought along an anxiety that I've never had before, together with an intolerance to people. I have wondered about which jobs I can explore where you work independently or as a lone worker, with some interaction occasionally 😉 My dream job would involve reading & listening to podcasts by Dr Andrew Huberman & Prof Scott Galloway! I can't quite work out how to keep my current salary, work for another 10 years and be happy. I would love to work in a book shop or library that has a cafe attached to it, but that is almost like a dream rather than reality!