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Can anyone please help advice needed about school bullying worried sick

5 replies

Joewasmyfave · 26/03/2023 14:14

My 10 y dd is being targeted by another child.
the other child is a girl that identifies as a boy I will call child x.
dd and x were friends, until x said she wanted dd to be her girlfriend which dd declined and said no but let’s still be good friends.
the next day x walked up to dd from behind and punched her without warning in the cloakroom, several incidences of x shouting and calling dd a liar, bitch etc etc.
x physically attacked a boy on way home in the last fortnight and the boys are generally scared of x because she is physically the largest in the year.
the school are known for dismissing any claims of bullying but initially they did seeem to take action and spoke to x parents and put x outside heads office during some breaks etc.
on Thursday dd was in the cloakroom and wanted to leave when came in x stopped dd from leaving and when dd tried to get through the door x slammed the door onto dd hurting and scratching her arm. I emailed the school asking what they were going to do about the latest attack and their reply was ‘we do not consider this to be an act of violence’
and told me to ‘get some perspective’
how do I even begin to start protecting my dd when the school don’t consider this an act of violence?
our schools governors are known to be a waste of time. It is an academy school wondering if worth going straight to them?
will be seeking advice from bullying charity’s tomo.
im at loss what to do please can anyone advise?

moving schools sadly not an option for us

OP posts:
Badbadbunny · 26/03/2023 14:20

Keep writing to the head and governors. Also report to the police. It's the ONLY way to get schools to take notice is make A LOT of noise about bullying to everyone you can think of. Far too many heads, teachers, and governors still have the stupid "victim blaming" mentality of telling you to toughen up or fight back, etc.., especially if the bully has a "protected" characteristic such as race, sex, religion, disability etc as they're scared stiff of being criticised for being anti-"ism" these days.

iamjustwinginglife · 26/03/2023 14:21

It doesn't have to be an act of violence to be an act of bullying

School website-anti-bullying policy, behaviour policy and complaints policy are all meant to be published on there and if they're not ask for copies. Check what anti-bullying and behaviour/discipline says and follow the stages set out in the complaints policy otherwise it can't be taken further (LA/Academy/Ofsted) These policies are vital

stinkfaceison · 26/03/2023 14:23

Contact the schools community policeman/woman . All schools have one assigned to them .

MrsDoylesDoily · 26/03/2023 14:24

You need a face to face meeting with the HT I think.

Write everything down, keep it factual, leave the child's chosen gender out of it and what she did to the other pupil etc.

There's absolutely no way your child should have to put up with this.

Jonei · 26/03/2023 14:25

I would ask for a copy of the schools anti bullying policy and complaints procedure, and escalate through that process. As the bullying seems to be increasing, I might consider this to be a child protection matter and the school are failing to keep your child safe, I would report to the LEA as a potential safeguarding issue.

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