When does grief stop feeling like this?

[whendoesitstophurting]

Three major losses in the space of 12 months.

Most days I still feel winded, find myself randomly crying in the shower for example. Some stuff makes it worse than others, there’s a few things completely knock me flying.

When does it stop hurting? I’ve even considered this afternoon paying to see a psychic to see if they can help.

I’m incredibly lonely, angry, cheated, and traumatised by two in particular.

I don’t have a strong faith, I believe in God I think - I was brought up to - but find it very hard to find any comfort in that.

When I try to move forward I feel almost guilty because I don’t want to have a good time without them here. It feels almost unbelievable knowing we will never have another conversation again.

Feel physically ill most days, so tired and physically hurting and no appetite or energy or will to do anything.

Is this forever?

I am sorry for your losses. I lost my Dad 4 months ago so am not in a position to advise. I'm hoping someone will come along on your thread soon with some advice that is helpful. I just know that life is not the same without him and I have days when I think I will never recover from the loss of him and what is the point in continuing. If everyone that we love is going to end up the same then really, what is the point? It feels as though I am playing a waiting game of who, out of everyone that I love, is going to die next and the sadness, feelings of being overwhelmed and utterly bereft, will flood over me again and another piece of my heart will be broken off forever. Thinking of you OP x

I’m sorry you’ve lost your dad xx

That’s the same as me, I’ve started to worry who’s going to go next. Or that I will. Had an anxiety attack at the GP surgery yesterday - they were very, very kind but I felt so stupid.

I'm so very sorry. I know exactly what you mean. I've lost both my sisters in two years suddenly and unexpectedly. I don't have the answers I'm sorry. I can't believe I'll never talk to them again.
I have one good friend who I can off load to. My poor husband is worn out with it all. We all grieve differently, there's no set time for moving on. I'm not particularly religious but I find lighting candles in random churches helps me. You're not alone, take care of yourself.

My anxiety has been very high too but I hadn't made the link until recently. It's not your fault you had the anxiety attack. Grief is just so awful and complex. When someone you loves dies, your world just stops but everything else, and everyone else, just carries on as normal. It's very confusing and exposes so many different feelings. It's no wonder that our brains can't function properly so please be kind to yourself and don't worry what other people think of you x.

I've been told that it does get easier but that it is different for each person. What I struggle with is that my world will never be the same again and that somehow, I have to keep on living when a part of me died when my Dad died. It doesn't seem possible and I am changed forever without him because he is now only in the past.

I'm sorry, but in my personal experience it never hurts less. It just hits less often, you gradually get longer gaps between thinking about it. It doesn't feel quite as raw, but it stays strong. I have one loss from ten years ago, and it sometimes still hits so hard that it takes my breath away.

I cannot recommend strongly enough to go for grief counseling. Grief completely derailed my life. Depression, anxiety, to the point I was non-functional. Finding the right counselor is life saving. Due to my wonderful counselor I have learned to live with my grief, and to enjoy life again.

I would probably try bereavement counselling before a psychic, you are very vulnerable at the moment.

What you're feeling is absolutely normal, OP, and I'm sorry for the losses you've experienced so close together. It's not really that it will get easier but you will get more used to it. One day you'll realise you're not thinking of them with quite such an aching heart and that the spaces between the visceral waves of grief are getting longer.
I'd second counselling rather than a psychic but I understand that longing for some kind of reassurance and connection. A good counsellor will help you to process what's happened, feel safer and start to rebuild your sense of self and your ability to interact with life.