I know I shouldn’t let what others think get to me but I do.
back story, we live in a pretty close knit semi rural village. Don’t get too involved with anyone but say hello to most people. We’ve lived here a long time and you get to know people.
my son has Sen, with quite complex needs and most of our close neighbours know this and never had any issues before. I find it generally a very caring community. We are generally quiet neighbours that cause no problem. My direct neighbours are very understanding on the occasion ds kicks off.
about 12 months ago when he was still in primary (last year) we were thrown right into the deep end. We’ve always had some issues with school but nothing to this extent. He suddenly started refusing to get dressed, he would be screaming, shouting, lashing out at us, we’d have to hold him down to get dressed and once he was dressed he’d struggle to get him physically out the front door. He’d be taking his clothes off etc. We’ve learnt to deal with school refusal better since then but it’s still not easy. I’m only human and the school were not overly sympathetic and expected him in whatever it takes. He was usually fine once there.
I was totally out of my depth at the time and with my own issues I didn’t know how to manage or cope and didn’t deal with it very well, sometimes I’d shout - not ideal but were were at breaking point, I’d also let sweat words out - not at him but usually at frustration. Sometimes I’d be pretty much dragging him out - usually lifting him out the door whilst he was kicking me etc. then once we got him out the door he’d often bolt down the road which was hard work with a younger dc with a physical disability. things have got better and we’ve learnt how to manage better. In a much better place but things still aren’t great.
anyway, back to the neighbour. On a particular bad morning, ds was thrashing about by the front door. I was stood by the front door saying we have to go now whilst dd was crying she was going to be late for school. I ended up shouting and swearing, slamming the door and storming off outside by myself.
this was all witnessed by a lady who lives down the road. She was walking towards our house up the pathway to go left probably heard me swear and shout. She was giving me daggers as she walked past.
not ideal and at the time I was too overwhelmed to say anything or apologise.
Ever since she glares at me, gives me funny looks, looks at my kids strangely. I feel like she goes out her way to make me feel bad. I feel like she’s judged the situation without really knowing. Just makes me feel totally crap as not got a problem with any of my other neighbours. She doesn’t live close enough to see her every day. She’s a few doors down and round a corner!
would you try and catch her one day to explain? Or just leave it. Don’t want to be her friend or anything. I just care too much about what others think!