What naughty stuff did your toddler do today?

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Lighthearted of course!

The little maniac living in my house surprised me with an sippy cup inside my makeup bag. Spout open, cup upside down, full of liquid, of course.

He also wasn’t interested in Cushion Mountain, which I spent ages building for him.

He’s napping now and I’m looking up how to buy diazepam online.

What have your little angels done today?

DD is only 13m so just a toddler I guess. We also had a sippy cup puddle on the floor today. However her big crime today was complete refusal of her afternoon nap and spending 2hrs last night screaming!

Broke my Mickey snow globe 😔

His new trick today was wedging his body between the two sofas and asking me to "crawl under the bridge'.
When I did, the crafty little bugger span his body around so that he was sat on me and shouted, 'Yeeehaw'.

😂

Chased the cat round the garden. Wriggled her way out of the belts in her car seat then tantrummed when I put her back in. Emptied a jigsaw all over the floor. Trailed every toy she owns out and left it lying around the place. Found a bag of choking hazard sweeties her brother had been eating and helped herself to one, ate it while I tried not to panic and remember how to dislodge things from toddlers throat from that paediatric first aid course I did ten years ago. Escaped up the stairs about twenty times (can't get a gate to fit our oddly shaped stairs and she'd only climb over anyway like she does the cot.) smeared vegetable soup in her hair. Opened the freezer door in search of ice lollies. I'm now sitting beside the bath writing this while she happily splashes me. She's just pointed out a patch of mould on the ceiling and announced BLEURGH DIRTY. She's 19 months old. Send help!

4 year old...started the day with some sort of flip onto my head while I was half asleep, climbed onto my back and shouted come on chubby horsey, convinced a barber to give him 4 extra lollipops (so technically had 5) when partner took him to the barbers... they were both getting haircuts and partner was unable to intervene 🤣

2 year old...constant comments of 'eee..yacky Daddy/sibling', 'silly Daddy', 'cheeky Daddy' all day. Did a wee on a toy toilet from the dolls house instead of her potty. Punched her oldest brother (8) in the back of the head and when he turned round, pointed at 4 year old.

Watch that 2 year old. She’ll be more trouble when she’s older. 🤣

She is a witch, her favourite lines are cutting comments such as 'Mummy, tell Daddy quiet', and 'sibling name, mooooove'. She's the youngest of 4, eldest is almost 13 and there are constantly teenage girls in the house so the sass level of my 2 year old is out of control

Haha that’s hilarious!

I have just the one and when I was pregnant people would ask me if I wanted a boy or girl, I’d always give the “oh I don’t mind” answer but I knew girls are usually mental and secretly hoped for a boy.

I ended up with a boy, he’s a head case at times right enough. He’ll break every bone in his body with the way he acts. Meanwhile I’ll be in an early grave. 🤣

Boys are v interesting!

I went to make coffee and came back to find 17 month old DD sitting on top of the cage we put round the fire place knocking things off the mantle piece like a cat.

Now trying to decide if the risk of her falling off the fire guard is worse than the risk of her smashing her head on the marble hearth

Draw on the floor in felt tip while I was in the shower (big sis had left them on the table)

Pour his drink into his lunch - his go to move if he doesn't want to eat.

Lie about pouring water - "it was amazing mummy! Like magic! The cup just gotted up in the air and poured water in my noodles!"

Unzip the sofa cushions to get inside like a sleeping bag

Insist his spiderman costume means he can't get burnt when helping me cook, followed by tantrum because he wasn't allowed to help me cook

Normal refusal to put shoes/coat on/hold hands when out

Only come down from bed once, so that's a win!

Ahh I’m long past the toddler days and you’ve all just transported me back a few years! Toddlers are the biggest headfuck as you ever wildly between thinking you might not survive their younger years and thinking they’re the best thing ever 😂
hang on in there folks, one day it will all be over and more boring! (Which is a total fucking blessing!!!)