People who isolate you from the main conversation

[Moonstarsandme]

Just tried to explain this to DH, probably not very successfully. Does anyone know what I mean? You’re in a group and there’s a chat going on which is interesting, and then someone decides to try to talk to you and it’s hard to ignore them as you miss things from the main chat and you end up ‘pulled out’of the main conversation.

Does anyone know what I mean, and how do you stop them (bearing in mind the main culprit is a colleague I do have to work with, so ‘fuck off’wont work!)

Try to engage with the main conversation, keep looking at the person who is the “main conversationalist” and if someone tries to hijack you from it, ignore them. Don’t turn toward them, don’t look at them, just pretend as if you didn’t hear the hijacker.

Ye I would also ignore/pretend not to hear the person interrupting

In theory yes, but in practice so hard as they are talking to you and so as much as I try to tune them out and follow the chat, I can’t.

Or just say sorry one minute, then return to main convo and leave them hanging till after

I know exactly what you mean, OP. And it's always when the main conversation is at a particularly interesting point!

you could say “sorry give me a minute” and then return to the main conversation or say “let me hear what Susan has to say”

I think the people that do this may feel left out of the main conversation? So alternatively use it as an opportunity to include them with the rest of the group and involve them in the main conversation

It really is @InsertSomethingMotivationalHere !

I’m afraid you have to be more assertive because this is the only way that works with these annoying people, so the harder they try to hijack you the harder you have to put your foot down and ignore.
The alternative is to remind them politely that you are trying to listen to the main talker. That should work too.
No pussyfooting around.
I have these people in my life too and what I do is I gently raise an idea finger and quietly say ssshhhh….while not even looking at them. 😈

I do know what you mean, and I generally try to pull them into the main/interesting conversation.

index finger, not idea…

I have a colleague who does this, it's really annoying and I know exactly what you mean! I sometimes pretend I haven't heard them and other times just give a short answer.

Make sure you chime in with the main conversation. Make a remark, ask the speaker to repeat something, ask a question. Basically make it really clear which conversation you are interested in.

I find it embarrassing as I tend to think that people should try to all join in to the same conversation and that the 'side talkers' are rude. I'd hate for someone to class me as a 'side talker' 😂