Selective Mutism in Teens

[lionsleepstonight]

Hi,

If your child was diagnosed with SM when young, how has it played out as they have got older and moved to secondary school?

My DC were diagnosed in Reception and had a well educated, supportive team for all of primary to the point I honestly thought things were normal.

It's now apparent as they have moved to secondary that either the school have no clue how to deal with it or DC is worse than we thought. At the last parents evening I was repeatedly told, they were too quiet, needed to talk, will need to talk to get a job etc. I explained the SM and so thought this would enable support and understanding to be given.

It's come to a bit of a head now. Due to expectations regarding a drama class. I called the school and asked for a reasonable adjustment to be told 'not to worry, they can drop drama next year'. But the drama performance would still go ahead.

I'm going to call them again but should I be doing anything else like speak to the doctor or do anything else?

what Does your dc say about it?
my dd is selective mute but only yr5 at primary so I have yet to experience secondary school as a parent.
Have the school been supportive of the SM in the past? Is it known within school, as in the teachers, support staff etc that your dc may struggle to communicate? Does it upset or bother your dc to drop drama?
I take the lead from my dd on school and communication and I raise issues on her behalf if she encounters them. So I’d have a conversation with them and see what solutions they would like and try to find a way to achieve that with the school.

My DD was selective mute at nursery and going into infants and primary. My DD was then diagnosed as autistic at age 8. We were lucky, I managed to get her an EHCP and she is now in a specialist provision. I took the view that the selective mutism was a symptom of something but not the cause, which led me to working out she was ASD. I then sought diagnosis.

Please, if you haven't already, read up on how autism presents in females. 'The boys explode, the girls implode'

I'm guessing she is in mainstream secondary? This is a major trigger point for undiagnosed ASD girls to become very mentally unwell. Secondary school is not as nurturing, bigger school, hustle and bustle etc. A lot of ASD girls struggle hugely with secondary transition. Please explore possible ASD. She will be flying under the radar, but she will be suffering and they just won't 'get it'.

Thank you both, apologies I wasnt clear, it is my DS. He's very high functioning and my doctor said I had no chance of a diagnosis as for him, it means he's got his quirks but will be able to be employed if he follows a career based on his strengths. My DS is in secondary but as he's a conformist, and a happy rule follower isn't struggling in the environment. He has a teeny social circle, but does not feel he is missing out.

My concern is it seems apparent the school are ignoring the SM and not even realising they should be making a reasonable adjustment in relation to this performance. DS has always been 'backstage' at primary school. Its not that he doesn't want to. He physically cant.

My DS is very high functioning, got mostly 9's for his GCSE's but was still diagnosed with ASD. DS's teachers are never aware it seems that he has ASD or what he might need doing to help with it unless I make sure they are told. I think you need to get the school email address for the drama teacher he has and let her know that he has a diagnosis and what should be done about the performance. If you can't find out the email then give ds a note to give her after class explaining. She probably has no idea as unless they're causing problems in class teachers just don't seem to be aware of who has SEN.

Thank you, I'll do that tomorrow. Hadn't really thought that the ones who behave well won't then highlight any additional needs. Interesting that you had to repeatedly remind the school too. That makes me feel better!

What the school doesn't see is the limited food choice, specific fabrics only, the requirement for routine etc etc and just see a 'well behaved quiet boy'.