Expected to 'work on' relationship with colleague.

[LaGiaconda]

Just under a year ago I started in my present job.

One of my new colleagues made it clear to me that she felt she should have got the post I was given.

On a day I was left in charge of the team she verbally challenged me and flouted various aspects of the company health and safety policy, making the day stressful

When I reported this - as I had to - she was spoken to about her behaviour but I was told that she had 'mental health issues'.

She mostly does not make any verbal response if I say 'Good morning' or 'How are you' etc, but pretends she hasn't heard. There have been a few occasions when she's been talking generally to colleagues about her life, when she has responded to me if I've asked a question. But otherwise she simply does not talk to me other than, say, 'Could you pass me that file?'

I am on a higher grade than her, but if there's any occasion when I ask her to do something, she will normally challenge me.

On a few occasions I've told my line manager that this is a tricky situation for me but the response is 'Oh X is just like that.' (She isn't 'like that' with other people.

In a recent appraisal I've been told that I need to 'work on' my relationship with this colleague, which is being seen as a 'personality clash' for which I am 50% responsible. My Manager also described X as 'a sweet girl'.

The trouble is that I think I have 'worked on' it by attempting to remain calm and pleasant and making a few pleasant ordinary remarks 'How are you?', 'Did you have a good weekend? each day.

There really is nothing more I can do. Or is there?

Log everything. She sounds obstructive and that makes for a tricky work situation. I had one like this who was eventually sacked after a long competence procedure. She had temporarily been in my position because my notice took ages-teaching. She bust the budget before I got there, lost student coursework despite having months of notice/reminders and was just arsey because she didn’t like that I got the permanent position and she didn’t.

Is she like this with anyone else? Is she like this in front of management?

My colleague is rather self-absorbed with most people, but will chat much more readily with others and does not keep trying to undermine them.

It's quite clever stuff as obviously just failing to say 'Good Morning' or tending to argue back is not the stuff of which disciplinaries are made.

I think some staff feel protective of her, because there are respects in which she is actually good at her job and she is also quite good at framing herself as someone who is having a uniquely hard time. (Not enough money, expensive rent for small flat, a demanding small child. On temporary contract.) So yes, life not a bed of roses for her. But I am only to blame in as much I was a better qualified candidate for the job, who also did a better interview.

Keep records of everything!
Try to make all your contact via email so you have her replies or lack of.
Anything confirmed verbally - ask her to email you confirmation she has understood/completed task.

Why do people want to make work life so difficult!! Just do your job and go home at the end of the day and we can all get along nicely.