Building a new life after divorce

[ThoughSheIsLittleSheIsFierce]

Following the gradual breakdown of the relationship, we have finally agreed to divorce. I have good friends, who have been very supportive, however I feel that I am in a rut.

How do I go about building a new life? I'm not really interested in another relationship. I would just like some new interests and expand my social network.

Interested to hear others experiences.

I am not divorced but I am thinking about life after and I have been planning all the things I would like to do for myself. Are there any hobbies you fancy starting?

I would love to get fit. The problem is I work shifts, so every week is different, and it's hard to commit to a regular thing.

Some gyms are 24 hours so you could perhaps still pop in after work and make that a regular thing? You can definitely get to know people at the gym :)

Try meetup for ideas of what group activities might be in you area perhaps?

Or if there are things u have always wanted to do, now is the time.

I love the gym. It's my main hobby really. Then I just hang out with a few friends in the later evenings every now and then. It's a really nice way to live. I pay for a really good gym membership though, so it's got a bar, evening socials, great jacuzzi area etc

I got fit, was lonely for a while, said yes to every invitation, studied and OLD dated to create something to do. shagged a few younger men

4 years on, kids and career flourishing and I got engaged last weekend.

Life goes on and you will be happy. Best thing I ever did.

I have thought about studying, not sure what though. I looked at the local college for evening classes but worried that I'll be the only 50 year old in a class on 20 somethings

Who cares? You'll be an inspiration to them. I doubt you would be the only one there either!

Well, I have found a yoga place that looks good. Have also applied for a course starting in September.

I separated from ex 4 years ago. For 2 years I lived in that middle place just repeating daily tasks and living through covid with the kids. Last year I decided enough was enough and started divorce proceedings. This year I've started planning to live life again which for me means trips away and theatre shows and spending time with friends and my children doing fun things.
I needed those first 2 years to heal and adjust and so did my kids.

Excellent op! What course will you be doing?

Well done for booking the course! I went to college after mine as it was the only thing I could fit around the children at that time; did 2 arty courses and there were several people my age and older. All the 'young ones' accepted us like mates and we all went to the pub far too much on occasion.

I also did other things 'just for me'; it helped me find myself again.

Oh OP- this can be an exciting time! Divorce is awful and disruptive..... but you basically end up with a blank canvas.... you can basically decide what you paint on it!!

For me, I discovered that I'd lost a lot of my individuality .... forgotten what I truly loved to do for myself..... I started the joy of rediscovering.... everything from what colour I wanted to paint the walls, to finding a new physical style, and new hobbies (for me tango dancing, which my Ex had never agreed to do with me!) books, films, studying, writing, self reflection, courses, cooking and trying new recipes with food your husband didn't like, even simply sleeping on a different side of the bed, or spreading your wardrobe out..... any number of things......

One bit at a time,,,... experiment.... you will have a few false starts, but this can be a wonderful time of discovery and growth, or just plain pleasure!

I hope you enjoy it!

I’m going to foster cats.

@BraveGoldie, yes I need to focus on the little things as well. Money is going to be tight. I need to think about all the things I used to enjoy. I've been wife and mother for so long, always putting myself second and compromising on every little thing.

I booked my first yoga class. Now I might rearrange my bedroom furniture

I'd love a cat