Teen son driving

[KartMum]

My DS has just got his provisional licence. I am worried sick about him driving.

He has a background of racing karts and he thinks he's invincible. He wants to modify his basic hatchback, boy racer it up. And he makes no secret of the fact he wants to drive fast.

I am so worried that he will kill an innocent person on the roads.

I can't get through to him. Does anyone have any ideas?

Hopefully a good instructor will help your son. I remember when I was learning, I drove to a house to collect a teenager who thought he knew it all, he had to drive me back to my house. It was horrendous and I was really frightened. My instructor apologised and I told him never to do that again. He said he would be spending a lot more hours with this boy to get him driving safely and until that time, he wouldn’t be advising him to take his test. When my son past his test and got a car, he said he was going to get a wrap on it, I told him his insurance would go up, we did an online quote, it was £2,000 extra. This was 5 years ago when he was 21. Unfortunately we know a young lad that crashed his mums car and killed his best friend who was a front seat passenger. He had just turned 18 and he went to prison.

@Thebreakfastclub2023 unfortunately he just got points and a fine which was a pathetic amount anyway so definitely not a deterrent

Tbh it clearly demonstrates that he isn't mature enough to learn to drive. I can't see many instructors putting up with him and his nonsense.

I think the insurance will give him a wake-up call. Learner driver isn't bad but once they pass their test it's thousands for fully comp even with a crappy old car! Has he actually looked at insurance quotes?
If he's working I'd make sure he's paying his way in the house too, unless he's earning a huge amount it's unlikely he could afford the insurance on a fancy car at his age.
I would absolutely refuse to fund a penny of it.

If he's decent on the track he should pass easily. My insurance with mods declared is actually cheaper than normal insurance! Bodywork mods also aren't counted so things like the remap added about £8 to the years premium (£236), strangely the alloys were the most expensive at nearly £15!

OP what's he driving? Something like a golf is going to be better if he crashes it than a corsa VXR.

Has he actually looked into insurance costs? My DS (20) passed in December, he drives a 16 year old fiesta and fitted with a black box and his insurance for the first year was £1271. Do they even insurance non black box first time drivers? But to be honest, he needs to get a theory test booked and passed, then the wait time for the driving test right now is months so hopefully by the time he is on the road he might have grown up a bit.

I don't blame you for being worried. I was worried when DS first passed and he was out and about but luckily he's a sensible kid. I look at his driving on the insurance app thing he has and so far so good.

he absolutely must declare any modifications to the insurance company, get him to speak to Adrian flux. Years ago you could get away with it, not now. The police will take his car for no insurance.

black box as others have suggested. That’s all you can do.

@VegetablesFightingToReclaimTheAubergieneEmoji when My DS passed I got a quote from Adrian Flux - was 2.6k. I nearly died lol.

I have to ask, does he really talk openly about planning to drive like a maniac in front of you? I would go absolutely nuclear on him.

I wasn’t suggesting them because they are cheap, they are one of the few I know of that will cover modifications for young drivers.

the cost might make ops son realise he might have to wait a few years

He sounds like an utter nob tbh. I've drummed into my DD that young male drivers are dangerous, that she could end up dead if she gets in a car with one, and that if you're the passenger, you have zero influence on how someone drives. I just pray she never gets in a car with someone like your son.

The pensioner who lost concentration and veered into oncoming traffic killing my mum and a young woman got off scott free too.

I feel exactly the same as you.

DD17 recently told me she was going to be picked up by a group of friends after a party (the drive was about 45 minutes at around midnight). I didn’t ban her but I told her that I would rather she found an alternative as night time driving and groups of teenagers distracting the driver were two serious issues for new and young drivers and significantly increase the chances of an accident. I also told her that my friend was killed when we were 17 in similar circumstances, and another friend broke her back in a serious accident at 18 and had to repeat her last year of A Levels, so the idea of her doing this made me incredibly uneasy.

Fortunately she listened and another parent brought them home. But stuff like this fills me with absolute fear after my experience as a teen. I also crashed my car as a (sensible) 18 year old driver!

My DD passed her test 4 weeks and 3 days after her 17th birthday.
She was determined.

Get your DS to look at one of the insurance comparison sites eg confused.com. It will be an eye opener for him!!

This.

I teach advanced driving.

Convince him by telling him that it will enable him to drive yes, more safely but also more quickly (when appropriate)

Thank you all very much for the constructive replies and advice.

I will definitely look into the Advanced Driving Course.

The insurance might well thwart his plans a bit - he has already got quotes and can afford it, but no idea what difference any mods would make. Oh, and he's just driving a little small engined hatchback, but nevertheless, DH has driven it and said it goes pretty fast.

He's not a bad kid, but he thinks he's invincible and I need to get through to him that he's not. I won't be throwing him out (he's 17 so I think that's not allowed anyway!), but I will not be enabling his plans in any way.

@Chenford That sounds like a good plan!

My DS was the same. Thought he was invincible. Then got a speeding fine within 2 months. Hasn't sped since.

@Confusedabout That sounds like a pretty good outcome! A good lesson in consequences without anyone getting hurt.

Sadly too many innocent bystanders don’t survive the “daft” drivers, even if the drivers themselves survive.

Honestly the statistic for crashes involving young male drivers are horrific. I’d actually argue that people shouldn’t drive until they’re 25.