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Original poster

Really upset about comment today

45 replies

SpinningFloppa · 21/03/2023 17:19

I’m really upset about something that happened today in a shop. I went into my local Poundland after school today with my children, I was at the till paying for my shopping (it was the self check out) my dd always sit in the corner whilst I pay, it’s a corner and she is not in anyone’s way she is autistic and always sits on the floor as she struggles to stand for long anyway there was a new woman working there today who came over to me to say she was sat on the floor. I said it’s fine and that she usually sits there, she rolled her eyes and walked off. I finished my shopping and paid, as I was packing it my dd got up and walked out of the shop. I was with my son as well so I asked him to continue packing whilst I get her so he said ok. I went out to get her and waited out by the doors for my son. When my son came out he said the woman had approached him after I left and demanded to see his receipt, he explained it was with his mum, she would have seen that the machine said I had paid as it has a message on to say it’s been paid for and to take your shopping etc at that point she said “oh I see, so she’s making YOU do the dirty work!” I went back to speak to the manager as I was really shocked by this comment but he couldn’t have cared less and she even admitted making the comment. He told me she is new and it’s her first day, and this is how she is acting?! Im really upset I don’t feel like I can go in there again now everyone was staring and I just feel humiliated. I struggle going out with dd anyway as she has often runs off and I usually have to get my son to help me pack or to pack for me so I can stay with dd I can’t believe someone was judging me openly for that? I am a single parent and dd is always with me it’s very hard taking her out stuff like this makes me not want to go out at all.

OP posts:

neitherofthem · 21/03/2023 17:45

caringcarer · 21/03/2023 17:29

To stop your dd running off on future you can get those attachment things that attach between you. A bit like toddler reigns. It might be dangerous if she runs off.

The child is autistic. It is not easy to persuade a child with autism to tolerate that sort of thing. To put it mildly.

gencritdd · 21/03/2023 17:46

I think she thought you were using a distraction technique to shop lift tbh.

Reinventinganna · 21/03/2023 17:47

SpinningFloppa · 21/03/2023 17:40

You know what forget it I don’t need a good old mumsnet kicking. I thought by posting on chat instead of aibu I would avoid that

@SpinningFloppa not everyone is having a go at you.

blacksax · 21/03/2023 17:47

MisschiefMaker · 21/03/2023 17:38

I took it to mean she was telling the child that his mum was making the child steal groceries? Maybe I got that wrong.

Show quote history

That's how I took it as well. It's a common method used by shoplifters.

ChilliHeelerFanClub · 21/03/2023 17:49

SpinningFloppa · 21/03/2023 17:23

She wasn’t joking when I went back to the store she was shouting things at me, Hardly a joke 🙄her behaviour was extremely aggressive

Show quote history

It’s amazing how the incident escalates when a poster doesn’t agree with you.

If the aggressive shouting really happened, why didn’t you include it in your OP, since it’s clearly worse than the comment about child labour?

It sounds like going out with the kids is tough and you have my sympathies, although in this case I think it’s meant you’re a bit over-sensitive. It was just a joke that landed wrong.

ChilliHeelerFanClub · 21/03/2023 17:49

Sorry, not child labour 😂 accidentally quoting a PP there. I meant the comment about dirty work!

GoodChat · 21/03/2023 17:50

Why are people saying to call the police? What do you think they're going to do?

OP make a complaint to head office about the assistant and the manager. They have CCTV in store.

dooneyousmugelf · 21/03/2023 17:53

Wouldn't have given it thought tbh. Mildly amusing.
But then when you went back in she was shouting things at you? Wtf

neitherofthem · 21/03/2023 17:53

Ignore the bitches @SpinningFloppa

They have nothing better to do than take pot shots at people who have come here for advice and support.

Might I suggest that you go online and email customer services at the store's head office. Explain the exact circumstances. They will want to know if their staff are treating customers like that, especially those with disabled children.

Rubyupbeat · 21/03/2023 17:54

Always 2 sides to a story!

twanmever · 21/03/2023 17:56

SpinningFloppa · 21/03/2023 17:40

You know what forget it I don’t need a good old mumsnet kicking. I thought by posting on chat instead of aibu I would avoid that

I think you're right OP, she was being arsey. I'd be fuming about the insinuation your child was stealing on your behalf as well. When I was 16 I had an over zealous store detective grab me outside Woolworths and accuse me of stealing my handbag. She forced it open and the contents dropped to the floor, including sanitary products, ,lipstick, my purse, hankies. I was mortified and ran back to work crying. My boss rang her boss and she was made to apologise to me (I worked at a shop in the town centre). They should both have apologised to you. Sorry you were treated so badly.

Thedarkestblue · 21/03/2023 17:56

pictoosh · 21/03/2023 17:25

She was extremely aggressive and shouting at you? That sounds extreme. Did anyone think to call the police?

Oh for goodness sake! No one calls the police for things like that! Police are not the grown ups’ version of playground supervisors.

twanmever · 21/03/2023 17:57

To clarify, I think the worker was insinuation the child was stealing on the mothers behalf, hence the 'dirty work' comment.

MysteryBelle · 21/03/2023 17:59

She shouldn’t be working with the public if she acts like that. So rude and classless. Op, shop elsewhere where they respect the customers.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 21/03/2023 18:00

JarByTheDoor · 21/03/2023 17:25

I think the comment from the manager about it being her first day was a tacit admission that the staff member got it wrong here. I wouldn't worry about going back, it'll be fine. People almost certainly weren't thinking what an appalling human being you are for having a nicely-behaved young lad who helps his mum out by finishing packing away shopping when necessary — it's just instinctive to look when there's anything non-routine happening.

Exactly this.
You had a well behaved girl who was quietly waiting for you and a nicely behaved lad who was helping you out.
The shop assistant was extremely rude. She's made you feel that you can't use the shop with your children and that is awful.
Ignore her tho.. She's shown herself up generating customer complaints on her first day. If she carries on like that she will be gone in a week.

hamstersarse · 21/03/2023 18:04

I’m not surprised the police are on their knees if they get called to Poundstretcher for a minor row

OP, it’s not that bad, you did nothing wrong so it’s obviously a mistake on her behalf. Don’t forget to be kind

Thedarkestblue · 21/03/2023 18:05

Look, the OP is clearly upset and seems to be having a hard time. When I was at a low point things like that would have really upset me. And as for the z-class Columbos with their ‘ ha! You didn’t mention that in your OP!..’. Please! An OP is not a crafted novel. It’s a quickly typed few paragraphs on a phone and SEND. It’s not a witness statement and people will miss stuff out.

Sorry you had such a shit experience OP.

MrsDoylesDoily · 21/03/2023 18:10

GoodChat · 21/03/2023 17:50

Why are people saying to call the police? What do you think they're going to do?

OP make a complaint to head office about the assistant and the manager. They have CCTV in store.

If someone stood in the middle of a shop and started shouting at me, I'd call the security, not the police.

mosiacmaker · 21/03/2023 18:13

Sorry you had a horrible experience at the shops OP, it must have been really hard to juggle your daughter and do the shop and you’re doing your best and sound like you have raised a lovely son who is willing to help you out. Good on you for going back and addressing the comment, that took bravery and I’m sorry that they didn’t apologise but perhaps the “it’s her first day” can be taken as a quasi apology. I’m a big fan of writing reviews so you could write a letter or a google review and you might find it cathartic, even if you don’t hear back. Please don’t let this put you off going out! Just hold your head up high.

MisschiefMaker · 21/03/2023 18:43

^ I totally agree that the "its her first day" comment was an acknowledgement that they agree she was being out of line.

I don't know why people are being so nasty on this thread. A stranger insinuated to your son that you're a thief. I don't think you should let if affect you too much but you are clearly not in the wrong here! I think the other employees will see the situation for what it is.

And to echo another poster - sounds like you're doing an excellent job raising well behaved children in difficult circumstances.

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