Bullying- how do you prove it

[newmum1976]

How have people successfully dealt with bullying?

My 13 year old daughter is being bullied by 3 other girls who were her friendship group. We have a long list of things they have done, but the school say they can’t do anything as there is no ‘evidence’. I just don’t understand how bullies are ever caught, as obviously they don’t do these things when teachers are about. My daughter is now in the position of needing to find new friends whilst the bullies carry on as normal.

The bullies say to her that’s she’s too sensitive, paranoid, you’re imagining things, you’re dramatic, I never said that etc etc etc, so it’s impossible to catch them out.

Feeling so sorry for her as she’s such a good child and I just want her to be happy.

I'm so sorry your dd is going through this.

Bullies are very good at gaslighting, and the old "you're too sensitive" and "it was only a joke" line gets trotted out to avoid accountability, and put the blame on your dd.

I would suggest she keeps a log of the incident(s), make a note of time, place, who was there etc. Does she have any friends who is not in that friendship group?

Thanks for the advice. She’s doesn’t have any other friends that she can immediately hang around with (she tells me you can’t just join another group at this age). She is trying to seek out some other friends through her love of dance, so hopefully that will work. The spitefulness from the other girls is beyond staggering. I think in the long run she’s been well shot of them.

School can't really do much unless its open violence, and even then they'd do nothing. They can't force kids to be friendly and kind to each other.
Switching schools an option or not?

It’s so frustrating that only physical violence would result in some action. Gaslighting is not seen as bad enough. New school may be an option, but we live in London and the schools are pretty rough where we live.