Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

Original poster

How do you make your big decisions?

24 replies

trampoline123 · 20/03/2023 13:35

I have a big decision to make about accepting a job offer.

I wasn't intentionally looking and was approached to apply. I'm probably too comfortable in my current role and have been with my company 10+ years.

I have a lot going on in my personal life and don't know if I can handle a big change, or is it what I need? We have a very young family and I am tired, like really tired!

How do you go about making big decisions?

OP posts:

SugarSyrup · 20/03/2023 13:42

I make them spontaneously (much to OH's horror). I go with my gut.

If you're comfortable where you are then I'd stay, but if it's significantly more money I'd go for it. You'll be less tired if you've got more money (joking, but it'll make your time off nicer if you can afford more fun things, or a cleaner etc)

ByeByeLouisByeByeKlaus · 20/03/2023 13:44

How long do you have to decide?

My go-to is to ‘decide’ for myself, and then give myself as much time as I can with the decision before making it official. I can usually tell if my decision is right based on my reaction, relief or doubt direct me.

So ‘decide’ to take the job, sit with it for a bit and assess your feelings. If you feel happy and excited, go ahead and apply. If you feel stressed, maybe now isn’t the time.

Original poster

trampoline123 · 20/03/2023 14:05

It works out I get £200 extra a month, but it's less annual leave.

I decided Friday that I'd take it and now today I'm more against it.

They're trying to draft up the contract today so they want a decision asap (I'm just ignoring my emails for now) 🫣

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Jobs

barbrahunter · 20/03/2023 14:13

What about drawing up one of those pros and cons list? More pros = go for it, more cons = stay where you are. I'm sure it's flattering to be approached, anyway.

ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ · 20/03/2023 14:17

trampoline123 · 20/03/2023 14:05

It works out I get £200 extra a month, but it's less annual leave.

I decided Friday that I'd take it and now today I'm more against it.

They're trying to draft up the contract today so they want a decision asap (I'm just ignoring my emails for now) 🫣

I wouldn't go with it. Your post is screaming don't take it but you are needing reassurance that that is OK.

Annual leave is so important especially when you have a young family. You are tired and it's OK not to take on more at this point in time in life when you are so exhausted.

Kazzyhoward · 20/03/2023 14:19

Sounds like the killer is the annual leave reduction. Have you checked whether they'll let you "buy" more AL days by salary sacrifice? Lots of bigger firms offer that these days.

maddy68 · 20/03/2023 14:20

I say no. Who wants less annual leave? . And 200 a month isnt worth it for additional stress and by the time you're taxed and ni. That'll be reduced further

Definitely no. Go with your gut

Sprig1 · 20/03/2023 14:20

It doesn't sound worth it tbh, I would stay put.

Original poster

trampoline123 · 20/03/2023 14:32

You can buy up to 5 days annual leave.

The salary difference was much more when I was first approached but I've since had a pay rise.

The one positive thing is we will buy our first home once the kids are in school (2 years away) will a salary increase of 7k make a big difference to a mortgage offer?

OP posts:

Olivia199 · 20/03/2023 14:55

Can't help you much on whether you should take it as I'm sure there are soooo many factors. But my decision process looks something like this:

Write out a pro and con list for taking the job.

Write out a pro and con list for not taking the job.

Do about a million calculations financially about how it'd work.

Get nowhere.

Have a glass of wine.

Flip a coin.

Then if I'm disappointed with the outcome of that they I know my answer!!

Original poster

trampoline123 · 20/03/2023 15:01

Olivia199 · 20/03/2023 14:55

Can't help you much on whether you should take it as I'm sure there are soooo many factors. But my decision process looks something like this:

Write out a pro and con list for taking the job.

Write out a pro and con list for not taking the job.

Do about a million calculations financially about how it'd work.

Get nowhere.

Have a glass of wine.

Flip a coin.

Then if I'm disappointed with the outcome of that they I know my answer!!

😂😂😂 basically how it's been going so far!

OP posts:

ISpyCobraKai · 20/03/2023 15:04

Magic 8 ball

C1N1C · 20/03/2023 15:05

Ask my wife. She knows everything.

2bazookas · 20/03/2023 15:06

A4 lined paper, draw a line down the centre.

List the pros on one side and the cons on the other.

4EyesandBigThighs · 20/03/2023 15:07

I look at the bigger picture, the pros vs the cons.. weigh up those against eachother and then make a gut instinct choice.

Original poster

trampoline123 · 20/03/2023 15:48

I hate making decisions!

BFs input is whatever you want to do and I'll support you.

OP posts:

JamSandle · 20/03/2023 15:51

Bumping with interest x

Chewbecca · 20/03/2023 15:52

If the pay increase was more - would that change your thoughts?

If so, it may be worth trying to renegotiate the salary.

HagWithAtt · 20/03/2023 16:02

I'd tell them the AL issue, and ask them if they can match your current AL. The worst thing they can say is no.

Original poster

trampoline123 · 20/03/2023 16:05

It probably would but I have already negotiated up so don't think they'd go much more.

I was so ready to sign up on Friday, but practically I just don't think it's the right thing to do.

I think it's a classic case of the right thing at the wrong time. My partner is in a job he loves close to home, but only on a contract - it does keep getting renewed but not stable.

Imagine I started a new job and it didn't work out, then his contract wasn't renewed...we'd be screwed.

I usually act on a bit of a whim, I'm really trying to be rational here as it is such a big decision.

OP posts:

Underadandelion · 20/03/2023 16:17

I sleep on big decisions if I can. I make sure I have a logical understanding of the options and then to make the call I ask myself how I feel in my gut/ heart about one option and then the other and compare my emotional response. If I'm a bit scared I also consider that I'm excited too and it might be a good opportunity. If I feel dread and sure I'll be unhappy that's a definite no. If both options (old job and this job offer) make me feel awful and equally bad/ negative I would start considering that neither is the right choice for me and start thinking about other job options in my field/ career change/ retraining etc. What's the big picture and what's most important needs to be clear to you as well for example if flexibility and leave is most important then progression opportunities then pay it helps you compare how well they meet your most important needs objectively.

Original poster

trampoline123 · 20/03/2023 20:58

Pros and cons done - both have good and bad points.

I think the most important thing to me at the moment is stability which I have with my current job.

The new job gives better flexibility which is also important.

I'll sleep on it...again :/

OP posts:

illiterato · 20/03/2023 21:01

Toss a coin and your reaction to the result tells you what you really want to do.

Original poster

trampoline123 · 20/03/2023 21:05

Where's the psychics at?

OP posts:

Flip