Mothers’ day or birthday - when do you expect most effort?)

[AnotherDayOlder]

Seeing all the mothers’ day threads - the happy and the disappointed ones - has got me wondering whici days matter most. What is it for you: mothers’ day, valentines, your birthday, your anniversary, something else?
(For me, definitely my birthday, but I do appreciate a card and a cuppa on Mother’s Day)

Probably my birthday but actually it's how you are treated the whole year that makes the difference.

I'm a big believer in taking responsibility for your own happiness. Don't play games about what you do and don't want.

I told my children I really wanted a card from them. However the effort they put into it is all their doing, and that's what I really appreciate.

It's my birthday in May and I really wanted to do an activity as a family, so I booked it.

I know my DH is amazing all year around, he will always buy me a card and gifts, but honestly it's what he does for me and every day that makes the difference. Like ironing my dress for work tomorrow because he knows how much I hate ironing it really means more than gifts I could buy myself.

Birthday for me, I’ve never cared about the other ones. I get my own mother a card and a gift because I know it matters to her. I refuse to sort out gifts for dp’s mother though. I’m not falling into that trap!

I expect cards on my birthday from DH and dc, Mother's day from dear adult children, Valentine's day from DH and anniversary from DH and DC. I remind our adult dear children a week before our wedding anniversary. They are all good at remembering birthdays of me, DH and their siblings. Adult DC are also good communicators with each other so I don't receive 3 bouquets of flowers all at once. I get 1 bouquet on Mother's Day and 2 DC write in card I will get flowers in a week's time and 2 weeks time. It all works well for us. I remind DS's about their sisters wedding anniversary date and their bil birthday too. Everyone gets cards on their special days. I keep a spare supply of stamps too.

Mother’s Day for me. No need for flowers, just a little effort (cup of tea, lay in, tidying the kitchen etc). Enough to make me feel appreciated.