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Disordered eating, what is normal eating?

10 replies

Nowillpowerarall · 19/03/2023 22:04

I'm sure I'm not alone with this. Years of dieting, pre diabetes, I go from strict low carbing to gorging myself silly on sugar.

I just want to find a healthy, normal balance but I've totally lost sight of what is normal eating.

If you manage to eat normally and don't agonise over what you're eating constantly what do you eat on a normal day?

OP posts:
Fullrecoveryispossible · 19/03/2023 22:31

I used to have an ED. I fully recovered and have a better relationship with food and my body than most of my friends now. In order to eat normally, you have to ditch the diet mindset and allow full food freedom. You’ll probabaly find you’ll start off wanting to eat a lot of the things you’ve previously restricted - this is where people freak out and start restricting again as they think they are bingeimg. But trust the process! After a few weeks (and weight gain sometimes) your hunger will level out and you’ll stop craving these foods so much. A normal day for me looks like this:
breakfast: latte and cinnamon bagel with full fat cream cheese
snack: whatever I fancy! Sometimes carrot sticks and hummus, other days a Welsh cake
lunch: soup with a ham and coleslaw sandwich.
supper: anything really. Carbonara, rissotto, fish with potatoes and asparagus, omelette, gnocchi with homemade pesto
and I like to have a small glass of wine and olives/crisps whilst I’m cooking
evening: fruit, square or two of choc, maybe some popcorn with olive oil and sea salt

Xzxzxzxz · 19/03/2023 22:38

Breakfast: usually skip it/coffee

Lunch: A sandwich or salad, or smoked salmon with scrambled eggs if I'm at home.

Dinner: Chicken/fish/steak with roast vegetables and a jacket potato/sweet potato/mash.

I might have a bag of crisps or packet of prawns as a snack. If I'm hungover or due on my period I might have a bar of chocolate and packet of haribo.

theysaiditgetseasier · 19/03/2023 22:53

After years of disordered eating, diets, meal replacements, SW, WW, low carb etc - I've done them all. The only thing I've found works (and lost & maintained weight) is.... regular mealtimes!

Sound mad but I never used to eat breakfast, was never hungry in the mornings, I used to eat late at night, lots of fizzy drinks, treats and snacks.

Now I eat 3 meals at certain times of day.
Breakfast between 7-9am
Lunch 12-2pm
Dinner 5-7pm
I don't snack at all, unless it's special occasions and I'm offered posh cake 🤣
I eat what I want at mealtimes pretty much always have a dessert after my evening meal. I've lost 3.5st over 7 months as and honestly feel, after 20+ years of binging and yo-yo dieting, I've a normal relationship with food. I do get greedy at a all you can eat Buffett or party food etc

Interested in this thread?

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Nowillpowerarall · 20/03/2023 11:17

Thank you, what do you eat?

OP posts:
Hbh17 · 20/03/2023 11:23

Normal eating is having 3 proper meals per day, with a wide range of foods and pretty much eating anything you fancy. No calorie counting. No "guilt". No stressing about food. No weighing yourself. You eat meat, vegetables, dairy, fruit, desserts, snacks, pasta, rice - anything & everything. Sometimes food in a restaurant, or a takeaway.
Normal eating is to look forward to a meal and enjoy it, not worry that some or all of it is "bad".

Nowillpowerarall · 20/03/2023 11:29

Thank you, I hope to be able to be like that!

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Nowillpowerarall · 20/03/2023 12:44

Just bumping, if you have disordered eating how did you overcome this?
Therapy hadn't helped.

OP posts:
DelurkingAJ · 20/03/2023 12:55

Normal eating to me is eating what I fancy, when I want it and stopping when I’m full. Sometimes I have to stop and question myself and perhaps think ‘I’ll have a piece of fruit and then reconsider if I want chocolate’ but if I really want chocolate, I’ll eat it.

Typical day might be:
Breakfast: OJ, toasted bagel with butter, black coffee
Snack: piece of fruit or chocolate bar
Lunch: sandwich, some crisps (or a chocolate bar if I didn’t have one for elevenses)
Tea: hot cross bun or a few biscuits
Supper: chicken breast, rice, roasted veg

I do snack sometimes too…and that’ll be whatever I can find in a hurry when I’m hungry!

I drink black coffee all day, with the odd cup of tea thrown in. I probably also have a glass of Coke Zero most days. Alcohol is either meals out or a glass at the weekend.

maxelly · 20/03/2023 13:24

I'm not sure how well this will go as a thread, these kind of threads usually bring out the competitive under and over eaters and exponents of quite extreme diets which is not particularly helpful in trying to work out what is 'average' or 'normal'. The internet generally (and MN no different) is full of people who are very loud and confident about their own particular version of what is 'normal' and 'healthy' and insistent only their version is the truth, whereas in science and the real world there's a huge amount of variation both in terms of what is 'good' and 'healthy' for one person but also what can be empirically proven to be a positive in terms of an overall diet, once you control for other factors like individual circumstances and preferences, cultural and generic differences etc. As although on a micro level science can show that a certain vitamin or mineral is valuable for particular bodily functions, it's very hard to proof with proper large scale randomised controlled trials what is 'best' as a whole diet, as you simply can't control closely enough what people eat over a long enough period with enough participants to be really certain of your conclusions. So we're left with quite a lot of doubt and uncertainly which is obviously difficult to then know what you should do as an individual.

But to answer your question, overall I feel the things which have consistently been shown to be generally healthy but also achievable by an average human living in the UK are along the lines of the much-maligned NHS eat well guide and/or the planetery health diet and/or the mediterranean diet. I.e. a diet which is based largely on lots and lots of fruit, veg, pulses, grains and legumes, moderate portions of wholegrain carbohydrate, lean protein and fats, nothing forbidden but alcohol, highly processed food and sweet 'treats' only in moderation. I would not say I mange to stick to this aspiration 100% perfectly, not at all, but a typical week for me (I think it's much more helpful to think in terms of a weekly or monthly average than a daily basis as a busy weekday would look very different to a lazy weekend for instance) involves no breakfasts (I've never been a big breakfast eater), light lunches of soups, salads, leftover dinners, and largely home cooked dinners of typical family things like curry, chilli, stir fry, stews, pasta - with some more convenience foods thrown in as needed. I am veggie so my protein is usually lentils, chickpeas, tofu, beans etc., but DH largely has fish or chicken with red meat maybe once a week. Fruit and yoghurt or cheese as desserts/snacks (I try to avoid snacking between meals as a general rule but if I must it's one of these). Alcohol and chocolate/cake/crisps/biscuits only at the weekends unless a special occasion. Usually a takeaway or a meal out sometime at the weekend too.

In terms of the psychology of it, the best tip someone ever gave me was to always think in positive terms of what you can 'start' doing or 'add in' to your existing diet and lifestyle, rather than what to 'stop', 'cut out', 'forbid' etc. Personally as soon as something is 'not allowed' I (a) immediately want that thing much more and (b) if I have the thing, will tend to consume to excess as once the rule is broken it seems pointless to stop. So I think about what things I should do, i.e. eat 5 a day, plan and cook tasty homemade meals, drink plenty of water, make time to exercise, take care of myself well mentally, build in destress/relaxation points in the day (that don't involve food!) and focus my energy on doing those things first as well as rather than stopping the 'bad' or less healthy habits. It's a bit un-inuitive to think about eating more rather than less, particularly if you are aiming to lose weight or body fat but if you've had 1-3 delicious healthy meals with plenty of fruit veg and good nutrients, you'll naturally be less hungry for junky food anyway. But the point is even if you do still end up having the treat, that doesn't negate the benefits physically and mentally of the other good food you've had that day. And you don't then need to gorge yourself on the treaty food, you can have it again tomorrow if you still want it. I tend to find if I put the proposition to myself that way, quite often I don't want the treaty thing as much as I thought I did, or I can manage having just a smaller portion and save the rest for tomorrow. I've probably explained that badly but I follow a guy on social media called Ben Carpenter who is really good on explaining this stuff, he's a personal trainer by background but unlike many PTs (sorry PTs in general!) he's really really hot on the science but also explaining things in an accessible and realistic way, understanding that food is a complex and emotive subject for many of us and that we all live in the real world not some 'influencer's' fantasy where protein smoothies and steak 3 times a day is totally realistic. I'd really recommend his videos...

Nowillpowerarall · 20/03/2023 15:54

Thank you, I really like that idea of adding in healthy stuff rather than taking things away or making them off limits.

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