DPs ex behaviour before wedding

[NoEffingWay]

(Reposted for more site traffic) DP and I are getting married in a few months.

I will have three stepkids, who I adore. Two are adults and one is a teen. The teenager lives with his Mum who is generally a difficult person but has really ramped up the unpleasantness in recent days in the run up to the wedding. We had suit fittings this weekend and she made a huge fuss about it, refusing to let the teen go until she had a change of mind about an hour before the appointment.

She has now messaged saying that she is refusing any contact from now on with DSS (13) which coincides nicely with the wedding. She is now threatening court and mediation and asking for huge sums of money for this which we currently don't have.

Has anyone else experienced this type of behaviour from an ex? I am trying very hard to remain sanguine but underneath I am very upset about how she is making this all about her.

At 13yo why is she still dictating when your DSS sees his DF? He is well old enough to decide for himself when he wishes to visit and unless there is any concerns a court will back him.

It sounds like your wedding is hitting a nerve; were they divorced before you met? Don’t give her any money either - why is she asking for you to pay court fees? Is maintenance paid for DSS?

Yes, I’ve experienced such an ex

Ignore. She’ll almost definitely not follow through on it all. Lots of hot air that usualllg subsides if there is nothing fanning the flames

They were separated before we met.

I sadly think we will end up in court which is what we didn't want them to go through. We had hoped to keep it civil but if seems perhaps not.

3.5 years later she pulls this stunt, will this ever end?

My experiences with difficult ex’s - no it never ends as long as they have some hold over the historical partner. the kids get caught in the middle - sometimes they see through it - sometimes not.

Hopefully the two adult kids are coming to your wedding - continue your plans as though the youngest will still be there - hopefully the eldest two will be able to support his decision to want to attend - but in this situation you are pretty much powerless and have to just wait and see.

Don’t engage is my advice. And hope for the best.