Life would be better without me

[PatientlyWaiting21]

Does anyone else feel like this? It’s been a long time since I have felt this way, teenage years! Back then my parents argued endlessly, I would be blamed for everything, it was a terrible home.

my partner and I have been having issues, mostly communication, I also feel undervalued, unappreciated bla bla. Things escalated tonight we were both shouting, infront of our one year old which I’m so disappointed in myself for, I even swore, and it ended with him calling me mental. I’m devastated. Utterly broken. I can’t do this anymore. I’m the blame for all of his behaviour good, bad, it’s my doing. I love my daughter more than anything, but I’m so done with this life.

Op, I’m sorry you are having a tough time, your dd needs and wants you. But I wonder if your relationship is causing the difficulties. How would you feel f it was just you and dd?

It’s not that you’re done with this life - it’s this bad relationship that’s making you feel hopeless.

He blames you for everything and tells you that it’s all your fault. So you feel worthless and start to internalise this. Just as you did when you were a teenager.

You can self refer for talking therapies in many areas - that might help you to work things through and perhaps recognise that leaving this relationship might do you a power of good.

You matter. And you are central to your daughter’s life. What you don’t need is a partner who destroys your self esteem.

It sounds as though you’ve gone from a toxic relationship with your parents to one with your partner. I believe this is quite common, as there’s something in the new person that feels familiar.

But that’s not your fault!

Your daughter needs you. Really needs you. Maybe though, you don’t need your partner. Please have a think about that. If someone is blaming you for their behaviour, that’s wrong.

It’s him you need to be done with. Then you won’t have the stress and upset.

It's not true op
But it does sounds as though your life may be better without him
Sending love

Is there anyone you can call or message?

Life would not be better without you. Firstly your daughter needs you. Secondly there is nothing wrong with you. You have had an argument, it is not the end of the world. Try not to awfulize. Focus on positive steps forward.

It’s also worth remembering that there are people you can call any time you feel like this.

The Samaritans is 116 123. You will never be wasting their time. They are there to talk if you feel this way and want to help

OP, are you thinking about killing yourself? Please get in a taxi to A&E right now.

Hi there, OP. We're so sorry to hear you're feeling like this at the moment. We wanted to share our usual links to support with you in case those are of any help at all. We can see you're getting lots of advice here but sometimes it's good to seek help in real life too.

We hope things start to look up for you soon.

MNHQ

Hi,
I feel the same way. I'm in a no win vicious circle of hell. School know my son is on the spectrum and know he's been physically abused by his dad. MASH are involved and now instead of them investigating and safe guarding us, getting us support. They are saying we need to be placed on child protection due to their obsession and guesswork that I have caused my child ( I'm a mum of 3(, 9, 17 and 19) significant emotional bloody harm for taking to him about his abuse ! When he came to ME to tell me he's being abused by his own dad! Of course I've spoken to him...im his mum! Plus the same man abused my eldest 2 boys.
He is the father of my youngest son ...I met him 1 year after my first husband passed away

Everytime we need help they say it's ME who is the cause.
I'm stuck
Feel like I'm going to lose my son to the foster system.
I spend all day searching for support for his emotional and complex behaviour needs...
No one cares.

The world would not be better without you.

You have a daughter, who loves you, whose would be devastated if you weren’t her and her life permanently damaged.

You are in a bad place because you had a difficult childhood and are in a very unhealthy relationship. Speak to your GP or call women’s aid. Your life doesn’t have to be this way.