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Why do people use MN for this?...

93 replies

handmadeclottedcreamfudge · 19/03/2023 12:33

Ok almost certainly going to ruffle some feathers here but asking anyway..

Been using MN for well over a decade now but lately noticing more and more people taking to MN to announce they're "child free by choice". Why be on MN then? It's Mumsnet, I can't get why you'd be child free by choice and intentionally go to a parenting forum. If I were child free by choice I wouldn't be going on parenting forums because well, I wouldn't be a parent or have any interest in being a parent.

OP posts:
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SnarkyBag · 19/03/2023 13:08

I don’t have horses or ride but I find myself oddly drawn to the tack room threads when they pop up in active!

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handmadeclottedcreamfudge · 19/03/2023 13:09

SherbertDabs · 19/03/2023 13:08

What if you come on here when you start trying to conceive then find out you can’t? Should you leave?

Obviously not, that wouldn't be someone who had no interest in parenting

OP posts:
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GalileoHumpkins · 19/03/2023 13:10

handmadeclottedcreamfudge · 19/03/2023 12:33

Ok almost certainly going to ruffle some feathers here but asking anyway..

Been using MN for well over a decade now but lately noticing more and more people taking to MN to announce they're "child free by choice". Why be on MN then? It's Mumsnet, I can't get why you'd be child free by choice and intentionally go to a parenting forum. If I were child free by choice I wouldn't be going on parenting forums because well, I wouldn't be a parent or have any interest in being a parent.

What a stunningly original post 🙄

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PlateBilledDuckyPerson · 19/03/2023 13:11

handmadeclottedcreamfudge · 19/03/2023 12:59

Just to clarify- not bashing at all. I thought it was going to be clear I meant in relation to the parenting bits! (Purely because I only use it for the parenting bits)
Cheers for all the many valid points 💐💐💐

I don't think you often see childfree people advocating their childfree status on parenting threads - that would be like closing the stable door after the horse has bolted!

People usually only mention it to give context to their replies where it is relevant.

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RegainingTheWill2023 · 19/03/2023 13:11

Genuine curiosity rather than judgement.
What are you actually asking OP? What are you curious about?

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WildFlowerBees · 19/03/2023 13:12

If you'd have done a little search you'd have found the answer to your question over and over again. Also is it really anyone else's business why they choose to be on here? Live and let live.

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MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/03/2023 13:13

I thought it was going to be clear I meant in relation to the parenting bits!

Well actually it isn't, as you said Why be on MN then? It's Mumsnet, I can't get why you'd be child free by choice and intentionally go to a parenting forum i.e I assumed (quite reasonably) that you're talking about the whole forum, not just the parenting bits.

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lap90 · 19/03/2023 13:22

Why do people ask this question on Mumsnet knowing their are various different sub-forums on here that are of interest to any and everyone?

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YetAnotherSpartacus · 19/03/2023 13:37

Again?

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MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/03/2023 13:39

YetAnotherSpartacus · 19/03/2023 13:37

Again?

Well, we've had a whole fight about 'why aren't people still wearing masks, doncha know we're in the middle of a pandemic?' elsewhere; so why not? the oldies are the goodies.

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Riapia · 19/03/2023 13:40

They do it to provoke people OP.
They are obviously tories.
They come on here to gloat about their superior lifestyle.
” ooh I have £5000 per month of disposable income because I’m child free. Bet you’re jealous aren’t you?”
😁😁

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MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/03/2023 13:44

Riapia · 19/03/2023 13:40

They do it to provoke people OP.
They are obviously tories.
They come on here to gloat about their superior lifestyle.
” ooh I have £5000 per month of disposable income because I’m child free. Bet you’re jealous aren’t you?”
😁😁

Damn. You got me bang to rights, copper. 😅

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LookingOldTheseDays · 19/03/2023 13:46

I'm chidlfree and I'm here because it is one of the few forums that is female dominated. I hate the willy waving and macho posturing that goes on on other forums.

I post on threads about issues I'm interested in, there's more than just childcare discussed on here.

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MrsDoylesDoily · 19/03/2023 13:47

If you've really been on MN for over 10 years, why would you need to ask this silly and much repeated question OP?

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LookingOldTheseDays · 19/03/2023 13:48

And what originally brought me to MN was the feminist board. That's not as good as it used to be though.

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Sarahcoggles · 19/03/2023 13:48

I agree OP.
I understand that MN has lots of sections about other subjects that are useful for everyone, so of course people don’t need to be parents to benefit from MN wisdom or enjoy MN threads. But I find it baffling that child-free-by-choice people come on to MN to say how much they don’t want kids and never will, and list the reasons for not wanting kids.
It would be like me going on a gardening forum to tell everyone how lovely my kids are and how happy parenthood makes me!

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TroysMammy · 19/03/2023 13:53

I'm child free by choice and I like photos of kittens, gardening, cooking and reading fun and ridiculous threads. I've hidden parenting and baby names. Anyway I read anything anywhere, you don't have to have a need to read but expanding knowledge and having other people's experiences is not a bad thing.

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SnarkyBag · 19/03/2023 13:54

Sarahcoggles · 19/03/2023 13:48

I agree OP.
I understand that MN has lots of sections about other subjects that are useful for everyone, so of course people don’t need to be parents to benefit from MN wisdom or enjoy MN threads. But I find it baffling that child-free-by-choice people come on to MN to say how much they don’t want kids and never will, and list the reasons for not wanting kids.
It would be like me going on a gardening forum to tell everyone how lovely my kids are and how happy parenthood makes me!

Not really it would be like going on a gardening forum and saying you live in flat without so much as a balcony by choice and you’re very happy with that choice.

people look to validate their choices in all sorts of ways and maybe childfree people perceive themselves as judged so take the opportunity to talk about their life choices. It’s no different to when someone posts about disparity in how bills are split and someone always comes along and says they don’t understand the concept of separate finances when married.

at the end of the day it’s just people talking and opining who care really?

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Iquitforevermore · 19/03/2023 13:57

I can see your point op. I don't think there is anything wrong with child free people using Mumsnet, as now it is alot more than a parenting site. There are certainly categories for a diverse number of areas rather than 'just parenting.'

What I do find strange however, is threads saying they're childfree by choice;, it does come across alittle like "look at me I have a life while all of you parents stupidly decided to have kids." I then try to think more logically and assume the threads are made out of frustration because of that individual's experience of being judged for not having dc. We unfortunately still live in a society where there is an expectation by some people, that women of a certain age are expected to conform to the 2.4 dc stereotype "because everybody does it." I can see how frustrating this must be for those who have chosen not to have dc. On the other hand, I don't agree with the vitriol from certain people about "hating children" and the often child/dog competitions that go on; i find it all very sad and in bad taste.

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MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 19/03/2023 14:03

What I do find strange however, is threads saying they're childfree by choice;, it does come across alittle like "look at me I have a life while all of you parents stupidly decided to have kids."

Really? I think you might be projecting a bit here. Presumably you haven't read the threads where the childfree are told that the love of your DC is a love like no other, which comes across a little like - in fact more than a little like - 'you sad people who'll never know what this great love is because you stupidly decided not to have kids.'

FTR I think becoming a parent is one of the scariest and bravest and most optimistic things you can do. I knew I wasn't up to that so I made my decision early on.

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Sarahcoggles · 19/03/2023 14:04

SnarkyBag · 19/03/2023 13:54

Not really it would be like going on a gardening forum and saying you live in flat without so much as a balcony by choice and you’re very happy with that choice.

people look to validate their choices in all sorts of ways and maybe childfree people perceive themselves as judged so take the opportunity to talk about their life choices. It’s no different to when someone posts about disparity in how bills are split and someone always comes along and says they don’t understand the concept of separate finances when married.

at the end of the day it’s just people talking and opining who care really?

It would be like going on a gardening forum and saying I couldn’t imagine why people liked gardening, all that mud and dirt, and then the plants get eaten by pests or blown over in the wind, so it’s all a bit pointless doing it in the first place.

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ScentOfAMemory · 19/03/2023 14:05

handmadeclottedcreamfudge · 19/03/2023 13:09

Obviously not, that wouldn't be someone who had no interest in parenting

Keep digging that goady judgemental hole for yourself.
I am a parent. Got no interest whatsoever in parent talking. Been here since 2004.
Are you telling me I'm not welcome?

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MrsDoylesDoily · 19/03/2023 14:05

Sarahcoggles · 19/03/2023 13:48

I agree OP.
I understand that MN has lots of sections about other subjects that are useful for everyone, so of course people don’t need to be parents to benefit from MN wisdom or enjoy MN threads. But I find it baffling that child-free-by-choice people come on to MN to say how much they don’t want kids and never will, and list the reasons for not wanting kids.
It would be like me going on a gardening forum to tell everyone how lovely my kids are and how happy parenthood makes me!

It would be like me going on a gardening forum to tell everyone how lovely my kids are and how happy parenthood makes me!

But how would it?

You've literally just said you understand that people will be here for other reasons, whereas on a gardening forum they wouldn't be Confused

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Redglitter · 19/03/2023 14:10

If you've been on MN for over a decade as you claim I'm amazed you haven't seen any of the other hundreds of threads asking why non parents are on here. Its asked with ridiculous frequency. Strange you've missed them all when you've been here so long 🤔

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Iquitforevermore · 19/03/2023 14:10

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain Did you read the rest or my post? Or are you just selecting parts to cause drama?

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