To ask him not to vape around DS.

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or take him to the vape shop ^^

hear me out.

Ds is a pre teen. He is also autistic and has learning disabilities so understands and sees the world differently, despite this he’s very much in a ‘ want to fit in’ phase. He’s in mainstream for now.

anyway, I’m not with his dad and haven’t been for a long long time. His dad used to be a chain smoker, now he’s glued to his vape constantly 24/7. Whilst I am glad he’s given up smoking it seems that he’s an addicted to his vape.

I have never smoked - or vaped.

anyway, I have and will continue to teach ds that both smoking and vaping is no good for you and I would be really disappointed if he started either.

a lot of the kids vape at his school in the toilets. I don’t think ds would start at school as he would be too scared of getting in trouble - he is eager to please at school but does feel pressures to fit in.

the school have got more vigilant of vaping and taking action.

but he has mentioned vaping when he’s older. He says it’s cool because his dad does it and he sees him do it. I have told him it’s not cool. He also told me his dad takes him to the vape shop which ds thought was great, I had words about that a while ago.

I am also annoyed because I didn’t realise his dad vaped in the car with him. He wouldn’t have smoked cigarettes in the car with him but thinks vaping is okay. It’s not okay for various reasons. I don’t want ds breathing it in. His dad was more discreet about smoking cigarettes.

his dad tells ds it’s good to vape as it means he doesn’t smoke cigarettes but I’m trying to explain to ds that although it’s great his dad has given up smoking, vaping is no good for you either!!

to add, his dad only sees him for 2-3 hours max on each visit. Never a whole day or overnight. So I’m sure he could not vape in that time if it benefitted his son, or maybe he dinks be more discreet about it. Or even just tell ds that vaping is no good for you. I don’t want ds inhaling it or getting the wrong idea.

wwyd? I’m usually pretty laid back but trying to explain simple concepts to ds is queue hard and doesn’t have the understanding of other kids his age but wants to be like other people.

Typos, sorry!

hear me out.

I didn’t need to. On the basis of your heading…. YANBU

Doesn’t need to be high drama though.

Ask him, explain why, but accept whatever he says in response

My daughters dad vapes in the car with them. The oldest hates it but doesn't want me to say anything as he will know it has come from them.

What I really hate is he seems to think it's acceptable to vape in places he would never think to smoke - inside my parents house, inside my house.

Inside your home? Your parents?

why can’t you say something??

Of course, I agree. I don’t like drama and usually pretty chilled and to be honest should speak up more about different things. However, sometimes his dad is impossible to speak to which doesn’t help! I am so glad he’s given up cigarettes as he was a heavy smoker but I feel he’s given ds the wrong idea - that vaping is okay over smoking, but not for people who have never smoked and definitely not teenagers!

I would definitely bring it up. But I get your oldest worries about it.

I don’t know if my sons dad vapes in the house. Tbh ds does not go there very often but I know he vapes in the car with him and when they visit relatives and go out anywhere.

He use to smoke in his house so I would imagine he vapes. I had to speak to his dad Years ago because although he didn’t physically smoke in the house when ds was there, he did at all other times and ds would still come home smelling of smoke form the carpet, sofa, bedding etc and coughing. I had to tell him to google third hand smoke. Ds used to play on the carpet and come home stinking of smoke from it.

I know little about vaping tbh but wouldn’t want it in the house! I have an ex smoker relative who will vape in my grandmothers house (grandmother has never smoked or vaped) and thinks it’s okay but he wouldn’t have dared to smoke.