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Feeling very alone on Mother's Day... do you know of anyone who met someone decent when they had children? I'm already 37.

20 replies

bakedbaugette · 19/03/2023 10:37

I have a two year old. Their dad sees him one day a month and we have a not so great relationship because he is such a terrible father.

I feel really alone today. I’m trying to be positive and know I’m lucky in many ways but it’s hard. I would love to meet someone decent, the only people I speak to online seem hopeless. Just hoping to find some hope here I guess.

Where do people meet others when a single parent? Just online?

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maddy68 · 19/03/2023 11:02

My mum met my wonderful step dad when she was 40. And they were happily married for 40 years until he died last year. There is hope

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fairgame84 · 19/03/2023 11:05

I met DH when I was 34. We had DD last year when I was 38. I had pretty much given up looking for someone. Everyone told me it happens when you least expect it!

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QuitMoaning · 19/03/2023 11:06

I met my partner when we were both 40 and both had a son from a previous marriage. My son was 11 and adores him and they continue to have a brilliant relationship 14 years later, and I get on very well with my step son.
My partner is the most honourable man I have ever known and we are still very happy and enjoy our time together. I couldn’t imagine life with out him.

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CoffeeLover90 · 19/03/2023 11:08

I've a DS 3, no contact with the 'father' so I understand. I'm staying off the social media with all the gushing posts.
He made me a card at nursery which means more to me than a pile of presents.
We'll be baking together later and playing in the garden if he gets his own way.
Also single. I've no advice on that one as no idea...
But - Happy Mothers Day. Your son appreciates everything you do, I bet your his most favourite person in the world Flowers

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bobby81 · 19/03/2023 11:15

I met DP through mutual friends when I was 39. He's lovely & a great step dad to my kids.
I know it's difficult but try not to get too worked up about these over commercialised days like Mothers Day. It's just a Sunday. Your DC loves you every day.

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Viewfrommyhouse · 19/03/2023 11:16

Met dh at 33. Got together officially at 36. Married at 37. Had ds at 40.

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DonkeyFacedCunt · 19/03/2023 11:24

I met dp age 39 with two children. Their dad also hardly ever saw them and I was on my own for 6 years before that. Some days are hard. I find Sundays the hardest, when everyone else seemed to be doing family things. I used to make my own Sunday treats. So, staying in your pjs late. Have a bath in the morning, let the kids watch tv in bed with me so I could have a ‘lie in’. A walk to the park. Etc. You do have my sympathies. As your dc gets older is there a friend or relative that could take them out to buy you a little present? I used to do this for a friend before I had children.

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DonkeyFacedCunt · 19/03/2023 11:25

Sorry, I went off on a bit of a tangent there 😳

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Ilovechees3 · 19/03/2023 11:27

I met my partner through a friend who introduced us in the pub

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colddrytoast · 19/03/2023 11:30

My friend got married for the first time at the age of 59 ! They are very happy. She doesnt have children but if she did they would be grown up by now anyway, so NEVER GIVE UP HOPE !!

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Binfluencer · 19/03/2023 12:20

I meant DP at 37, I had two young daughters and zero kid free time.

We're a family now and he made sure the girls sorted Mother's Day

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Binfluencer · 19/03/2023 12:21

Sorry yes, we met online. I think he was my 8th first date.

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Beezknees · 19/03/2023 12:24

My DS's dad never did anything for me we split up when DS was a baby. DS is 15 and I'm still single, I don't want a partner most men are crap and I didn't want some randomer around my child. Look at all the posts here about husbands who haven't bothered. DS gets me a card now himself as he's old enough.

Loads of women meet partners though, everyone else I know who split up from their kids dad aren't single any more, it's just me 😂

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SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 19/03/2023 12:50

Met current Mr Sponge, when I was a single of parent, at 52, and a bit fat. Can be done. Online.

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Eatentoomanyroses · 19/03/2023 13:04

Yes. We met online 6 years ago. I had over 20 first dates. I had a three year old and he had dc. We married a year later and have a two year now. online dating is probably your best bet and it is a numbers game so you set up lots of them and keep them short and sweet. No overthinking just keep it moving

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Escapetothecountryplease · 19/03/2023 13:47

Thank you so much for starting this thread,it's my first as a single parent and I had a good old blub about it earlier. Seemed to hit home more than Christmas - Christmas is so hectic I don't think I had time to reflect. Plus Christmas is for everyone, mother's day is just for you is it
.

Both kids were fairly horrid to me earlier and I misery texted a friend who really brushed it off with news about her husband and all her family visiting ( mine are miles away) .

I get it!

Did a big boy of giving myself a shake, did a bit of houseplant gardening with my youngest while eldest lost herself in TV. Now taking us out to a cafe which doesn't take bookings and is full of not obviously mother's day diners. It's sunny and that's really helping me.

I joined bumble purely to see what it's like, I can't believe how many interesting d men there are out there, and I used a fairly crap photo. Haven't had the guts that actually do anything about it yet...

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Escapetothecountryplease · 19/03/2023 14:32

Gosh ... did a big job of... Not sure whatbig boy means,?!

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thecatsthecats · 19/03/2023 14:56

My mum and dad met when she was roughly 37, and she had two kids. Had my sister at 40, me at 42.

My dad was 27, so they really bucked a few trends.

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TwoManyKids · 19/03/2023 15:06

Met the love of my life when I was in my 30s and with children. He sat behind me at a wedding.

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Reterpabbit · 19/03/2023 15:15

Yes OP, i left my ex when DS was around a year old. I did spend a few years single and it had its ups and downs for sure, I didn't think I'd ever meet anyone again. I did through work though very unexpectedly. We became friends first, I thought he was really attractive from first sight and enjoyed getting to know him but still didn't think it would ever go anywhere. We knew each other really well by the time we finally took the plunge and starting going out, he knew all about DS but hadn't met him at that point. I suppose it made it easier maybe as he knew 'the deal' from the outset- he's a fantastic step father and we have a DD together now too.

I know lots like and have success online dating, but I do think lots of men discount single mothers from the outset (nothing wrong with that though it's individual choice), might feel more comfortable and have more luck if you're friends first? Hard though I know, lots of my friends met people through mutual friends etc.

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