Tantrums over Tablet

[LolaFerrari]

Hello. Got a 5 year old whose obsessed with the tablet. Its got a 45 min timer on it but when it's switched off this morning she's hit me, cried and bitten me. I've taken the tablet and she's upstairs 😢 what a great mothers day. Any advice ??

Others will disagree but 45 mins isn’t long really for a 5 year old, it’s hardly enough time to get into a game or anything. We don’t actually have a timer or anything - especially at weekends we just let the dc do what they like, as long as we get out and do other stuff as well and they’re off of gadgets at bedtime we let them do as they please. I mean I am on and off my phone reading stuff all day. It’s relaxing.

You could do no tablet at all.

Alternatively, if it just switches off after 45 mins does DC need a little bit of warning time to adjust? So give them a 5 minute warning "in 5 minutes the tablet will switch off, would you like to do x or y next?". Then a 2 minute warning "DC the tablet will switch off in 2 minutes and then we will do x that you chose"

I took the timer off and she wanted to play on it for hours. I give warnings and there's still a huge meltdown.

I think a dead stop to an activity (game or show) is frustrating as fuck. It must be harder for a young child. The timer is a good idea for you but you need to be on top of it. What are you doing? Oh this game, ok how about one more level/play until you run out of lives. Just one more episode of peppa. The more you prepare the easier the transition will be for her.

We had a period a bit like this. We did a month of no screens at all for any of us (beyond essential use e.g. online grocery shopping, banking, checking emails etc). Then, when we reintroduced them, the old habits were broken and it was easier to set a new pattern that we were happier with.
I'd also maybe think about how you are managing screen time now. Does it just turn off at the end of 45 minutes? I can see how that would be very frustrating if you were right in the middle of something. You could try setting a timer and warning her when there are 5 minutes then 3 minutes then 1 minute, and talk about how she can finish the level/pick one last video etc. 5 year olds are not developmentally ready to be able to manage these things themselves.

See others will disagree but I think the reason she wants to play on it for hours is because you normally don’t let her. If you just say okay then and let her do what she likes she will eventually get bored when the novelty wears off and won’t want to be on it all the time.

When i take the timer off she wants to be on it all day and still tantrums. Her dad has the tv and tablet on all the time at his.

I'd take it away entirely for a week.

Seems to have worked on mine. You get violent? You loose screens.

You need a zero tolerance to violence of any kind.

So when she’s at her dads she can be on it all the time? The lack of consistency is part of the issue. I’m not sure what you can do though as you can’t make him parent the same way as you.

Take it away entirely.

No 5 year old needs to be on screens and her behaviour around it seems to indicate that she’s too young for it.

When my grandkids get a bit tablet/switch/kindle obsessed, it's a sign that they need a few days off.
They are given guidelines on how long they can use it for - whether it's until dinner time, or for just two more games (more meaningful than timing it), and if they get too wound up about it, then the device gets put away out of sight the next day.

It's a bit like food aggression in animals. They need to rebalance themselves.

It's a good time to get some Lego out and play with them on the floor.