Do you write yourself off too quickly?

[aCupOfTeaSunday]

Over the years, I realised I tend to write myself off before everyone else. I worry a lot and am an overthinker who always prepares for the worst-case scenario, which is exhausting.
For example, when I want something (i.e.dating, children, an opportunity), I often tell myself that I would fail even before I start trying.
I am unsure if this is my coping mechanism, lack of confidence, or both. But I cannot keep going like this, knowing my life will be full of regrets later.
Does anyone out there share the same mindset and experience? It would be good to know how you are coping/improving.

Thank you. 😊

I'm pretty like this, always waiting until I'm more 'perfect' before I start dating, looking to get promoted at work etc.

One way I found around it is to put myself forward in more faceless ways - in my case writing and art. It seems less of a risk that way, and you still get a self-esteem boost.

Finding a boss that believed in me also helped, allowing me to take on more responsibility in a way that was comfortable for me and building confidence that way.

Yes absolutely. I can never see the good in me, I think it comes from my upbringing and my mother's views of me. I have had therapy that has helped me to see that her opinion is just that, her opinion and her opinion doesn't make the truth.

Yes, I want things to be "perfect", with a guarantee of success before I start. More professionally than personally, mercifully.

But I've written a series of books, and I'm AGONISING about it before self-publishing. Whereas my friend has gone ahead with her books which are littered with obvious errors (that's from the reviews, not me).

And I'm setting up as a consultant - then temporarily DEVASTATED that someone is doing the same thing. Oh... No? I obviously can't be the only person doing it! It's not very niche!

I've got pretty good at telling me to get over myself though.