I've used one of my lesser used names on here and my post is going to be very outing, if you recognise me or anyone mentioned please be kind and not out me.
My DDIL died just before Xmas leaving dgd 3, now 4 and dgd 4 months, now 7 months. I live 250 miles from my son so am not there to help out, over Xmas and new year me and DH were there. We have visited since again of course and i also went on a short break holiday with him in Feb that had been booked before my ddil passed i speak to my DS every day, sometimes twice a day. I just don't know how to support him more. My DGD4 is a lovely, lively girl but I do think she may be asd, another dgd has just been diagnosed after many years of my dd banging her head against a brick wall, I can see the similarities and my ds has already raised concerns with nursery.
His father actually lives in his town along with his 2 half sisters but tbh I've visited more. He is really feeling it this weekend as DGD asked today, if mummy is in heaven does that mean she's dead, he asked her if she knew what dead meant and she said yes not coming home. I and he think this was triggered by nursery making mother's day cards, understandable but heartbreaking. I just don't know how to help more
He has filled in the online forms for Winstons wish but has not heard back yet.
TBH I just want to move to be nearer to him, but it's not really feasible, me and DH do not own any property and could not afford rent in the south of england. Plus our age is against us.
I don't really donexpect any answers as I've not really asked a question, guess I just wanted to get things off my chest, also going through a lot with my DD and the DGD who has just, eventually been diagnosed ADHD and ASD and I'm always there on the phone for when she is upset by my dgd behaviour which obviously she can't help but impacts so much on DDs and other dgd lives. And again I just don't know how to help more.ĺ
I thought life would get easier when I got older, but once a mum always a mum, I'm not saying I don't want to be there for them, I will always be there, on the end of the phone or on a train!
Oh and I have asked for mental health services to help me just someone to talk to. I feel if i can talk and offload I can support my DS and my DD more I have an video appointment with the wellbeing service at the end of May so thats why I've just posted this essay, the end of May is a long time. thank god for my DH. He supports both my DS and DD and hold me when I cry. He's a diamond and I wouldn't be able to support them without him.
If you've read to the end of this, thank you. I know there are no answers it's just so good to write it all down